No Money, No Love
by TheWitchBaby
Summary: Three years have flown by so quickly, and suddenly Ayase finds himself debt free and, more importantly, free from Kanou. What will happen now? Warnings: Yaoi male/male , other mature themes, some OC's and OOCness
1. Endings

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

**Summery**: _Three years have flown by so quickly, and suddenly Ayase finds himself debt free and, more importantly, free from Kanou. What will happen now?_

**Warnings**: _Yaoi (male/male), other mature themes, some OC's_

**Disclaimer: **_**'**__Okane Ga Nai' and all associated characters are property of __Hitoyo Shinozaki. All lyrics used are also property of their respective owners. HOWEVER, all OC's are solely from my twisted yaoi addicted mind!!!_

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"_I've been searching deep down in my soul  
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old  
Looks like I'm starting all over again  
The last three years were just pretend _

_And I say goodbye to you…"_

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**Chapter One: Endings**

The apartment was cold when he entered. Quiet, like the very rooms were holding their breath and waiting. Kanou reached for his trusted weapon that was tucked inside the pocket of his heavy coat, immediately on guard. Something was not right here. There was a darkness creeping in, draping everything in a heavy blanket of silence. "Ayase?" he called.

No answer.

His heart began to race as dread wormed its way inside of him. Though mishaps had lessened in the three years that Ayase had lived with him, there was still that certain level of danger. There always would be danger when he lived the kind of life he did, and Ayase was a tremendous liability. But hindrance or not, there was no Kanou without Ayase, and the gods have mercy on anyone that tried to use his angel against him.

Kanou made his way to the bedroom, senses on high alert for any type of movement or the hint of a trap. Easing the door open, he froze momentarily, surprised by a single large envelope resting against the pillows of the bed. Lowering his weapon, he stared at the innocent looking parchment, confused by its presence. Picking it up, he lifted the flap and peered inside.

Kanou's confusion increased, a feeling he did not particularly enjoy. He emptied out the contents of the envelope onto the bed. Notes? Bank statements? All with numbers and dates in Ayase's neat tiny handwriting. What was the meaning of this?

Frowning, he pulled out his cell and dialed Ayase's number. If he wasn't at home, he had to be at that darn okama shop. Kanou didn't allow him to go anywhere else.

A musical ring sounded from the bedside table, making Kanou curse. His confusion was quickly darkening into irritation. Ayase never left his phone; he knew Kanou hated to be unable to reach him. Still grumbling, he stomped over to the closet, deciding to change quickly before going off to find where his little blond had run off.

He paused at the open closet doors. The closet was half empty, all of Ayase's things gone. He turned back to the notes spread out on the bed and scanned them over quickly. Some dated back as far as three years ago, and most with 500,000 yen deposits on them. He started to mentally tally them up…

"No…no way in hell!" he snarled, staring down at the notes in hatred.

There was no way that Ayase could have paid off his debt! Kanou had thought for sure…

Yanking out his phone once more, he dialed Homare's number. "Yes sir?" the twin answered on the first ring.

"When did you last see Ayase?" he demanded.

"When I dropped him off at Someya-san's this morning. Is something wrong?"

"Get over here this instant, we're going to Someya's!"

Of course that damn okama would have been the one to help Ayase! There would be hell to pay if he didn't tell Kanou where Ayase was. Changing quickly, he stuffed the bank notes back into their envelope. He'd have Misao go over them later and-

He stopped, lifting up a smaller white paper different then the rest. Folded in half, it simply had his name and nothing else written on the outside. With shaking hands, he folded it open.

_Dear Kanou,_

_I've gone over these notes a dozen times and can guarantee that they're correct. 1.2 billion yen paid in full. Though personally I believe I have paid my debt a thousand times over. There are some things I thank you for, and I'm sure you've treated me better then most would. But I'm done now._

_~ Yukia Ayase_

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**A/N:** _I've wanted to do this 'what if' fic for a long time and am happy to finally get around to it. Expect a lot of surprises dear readers! I have a lot planned for this fanfic!_

_That's right, I actually PLANNED a story! My English teachers would be so proud!_

_I know this chapter was short, but it's only the beginning and all the other chapters are longer. I promise! And updates will be (hopefully) frequent! _

_Anyway, I would love a review or any comments! This story is un-beta'd seeing as how every beta I try to get flakes on me. If you're interested in helping me then please, drop a message and let me know. I could use the help and someone to kick my ass into gear._

_Anyway, the music is "Goodbye to you" by Michelle Branch. I think it fits perfect with the story. :]_

_Until next time chicklets!_


	2. Flying

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

**A/N: **I was so happy with my reviews, I decided to post the second chapter. I was going to wait until next month, but hey, I'm feeling nice. ;3

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"_Of all the things I believe in  
I just want to get it over with  
Tears from behind my eyes  
But I do not cry,  
Counting the days that past me by…"_

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**Chapter Two: Flying **

"Ayase-kun, are you all right honey?"

"Huh?" the blond looked up at the okama that was gazing up at him with concerned eyes, "I'm sorry Someya-san, I was just…lost in thought."

The birds outside the window of Someya's office had distracted him. Their flight and their freedom were captivating. They where able to go wherever they wanted in life, anywhere in the world…

Just like him. It was almost too much to believe.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Someya asked. Ayase had been staring off into space on and off all day, acting quieter and more withdrawn then usual. Someya had become quite fond of the petite blond over the years, and though she was glad Ayase had his freedom, she was concerned about what life without Kanou would do to him.

"I'm fine Someya-san, just...unsure about a few things."

The okama patted his hand affectionately. "Don't worry yourself so much. I'll help you in any way I can."

Ayase smiled. "I know, thank you. You've already done so much for me."

"Anything for my prized worker!" she gushed.

Ayase chuckled softly, his gaze drifting once more to the windows. Yes, he had his freedom, but what was he supposed to do with it? He had spent so much time locked in a cage, he wasn't sure he could even use his wings.

"Ayase…can I ask a personal question?"

The blond turned back to the okama, confused by her request. "Of course Someya-san."

"Was it really so bad? Living with Kanou I mean…"

Ayase paused, a mix of emotions flickering in his bright blue eyes. Someya waited patiently for the younger male to answer, for whatever he said would cement the plan already forming in the okama's mind.

"No it wasn't," Ayase answered quietly, "Kanou took care of me, and saved my life countless times. Once I got used to things, it was even quite nice."

"Then why leave?"

Ayase sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. He looked so worn, like he would shatter given the slightest push. "Because no one wants to live in a cage, even if it is a nice one. It was a good dream, but how can any of it be real if it was only built upon lust and money?"

Someya regarded the fragile blond carefully, before giving him a small smile. "When did you become so smart Ayase?"

He smiled back shyly. "Well, after three years with Kanou, I was bound to learn something."

"Very true." Someya teased, though a part of her was slightly saddened at the off-handed comment. Ayase had been such a sweet boy in the beginning. Naive, but selfless and hard working. So many things had happened to him, and Someya could see that just beneath the blonds smile was something broken and hurting.

She could only imagine what Kanou must be feeling. It was a shame really, how much those two needed each other. Ayase was as fragile as Kanou was a brute, but they where able to balance and be what the other was not. Ayase had a point though, how could he be anything other than Kanou's possession when the man only treated him as such? If there was to be any hope for those two, then time apart was needed.

"Are you happy now Ayase?" Someya asked suddenly.

Ayase glance wistfully outside, laughing softly. "I think I will be Someya-san. Or at least, I hope I will be."

Someya smiled, pleased with the younger blond. "Well, I know you probably want to start organizing your new life, so I won't keep you any longer."

Ayase stood, giving the okama a brief hug. "Thank you again Someya-san, for everything. Especially finding a place to stay."

"Don't worry dear, I'm happy to help! But don't think that moving will get you out of work! I expect you back on Monday."

Ayase laughed, waving good-bye to his friend. "Sure thing Someya-san, see you then!"

He left the okama bar, waving to a few of the workers and customers he knew well. He was glad that in the end he hadn't been forced to quit his job at Someya's. The bar had become something dear to him, a familiar anchor where he could find his stability. Especially now, since Kanou was no long providing for him.

He paused mid-stride, his chest aching suddenly with the thought of the older man. Ayase could not truthfully say that he didn't miss Kanou. His whole life had been centered on the man and Ayase was still unsure if he could make it. He had to though, he had no other choice but to try and function. He wasn't the same 18 year old boy and he knew it would be hard, but he would still push forward.

There were things he wanted to do, and now it was his choice to do them. A feeling of joy bubbled up inside, pushing away the pain and making him smile. The only one he had to answer to know was himself. At 21, it was high time he lived his own life, free from the rules of anyone else.

His new apartment was, thankfully, not far from Someya's business. Ayase couldn't afford bus fair, let alone a car to get to and from work. There were more important things he needed his money for now. Luckily he did have a little money stashed away, enough to at least get started.

Technically, his debt to Kanou had been paid months before. After pouring over his own records of their "payments". Ayase had realized that he had been completely finished. He didn't have to play the part of Kanou's "pet" any longer. For weeks he had agonized over the realization, and more then a little hurt that Kanou hadn't said a word. Did the man not know? Or did he just not care?

Finally, Ayase had turned to Someya, who he knew would help him. He looked up to eccentric okama, who always knew how to handle people better then Ayase seemed to be able to. The blond might be a bit more wary then when he was younger, but more often then not, he was still a little too trusting.

It was Someya that had helped Ayase save up and rent apartment, all without Kanou's knowledge. Ayase knew what a big deal that was for the okama. Kanou was Someya's friend, no matter how much they denied it, and by helping Ayase move out, he was potentially putting that friendship on the line.

Ayase was a bit surprised Kanou had not contacted him yet. It would have only been a few hours ago that Kanou would have come home to find Ayase gone. He wondered what Kanou would feel when he found his note. Would he be angry? Would he care at all? Ayase knew he hadn't heard the last of the man, but he would deal with that when it happened. For now, Ayase just wanted to go home and relax.

The place Someya had found for him was a small, smaller then the apartment he had lived in before he lived with Kanou and it was located right above an old bakery. Despite its lack of room, it was cozy to Ayase, just perfect. The older couple that owned the bakery and rented out the apartment were nice, and the smell of warm, fresh bread was inviting every time he stepped inside. There wasn't any furniture except a bed that had come with the place, and the walls where all an ugly shade of what once was white, now a dirty yellow from age.

However, it held potential in Ayase's eyes. It would be easy to find some simple furniture, and he already had the 'okay' to repaint the rooms. It would be a fun experience to turn the old apartment into something beautiful.

Ayase climbed the stairs up to his apartment, wishing he wasn't so tired so he could get started already. It was late though, and he was already feeling the day wearing down on him. By the time he had unlocked the door, he was doing his best to hold back a yawn. Kicking off his shoes, he locked the door back up, making sure the dead-bolt was secure and the chain was on. Now that he was living alone, he didn't want any unexpected surprises.

Shrugging off his shirt and pants, he left them piled at the foot of the bed, exhaustion making him put cleaning off until the morning. Pulling on a night shirt, he climbed into the small bed and snuggled deep within the comforter.

A familiar fragrance enveloped him suddenly, bringing him comfort as well as a wave of longing. Kanou's scent still clung lightly to the clothes he wore, and it made the bed seem to large and cold. Blinking back a rush of tears, he fisted the soft material of the shirt, forcing himself to succumb to the lonely, but thankful lull of sleep.

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**A/N:**_ Chapter two is finished! Filler chapter I know but, it's only the second chapter. Stick with it because I promise it gets good! PLEASE REVIEW!_

_On a side not, the lyrics at the beginning of the chapter, are from the same song used in chapter one. _

_Now for review replies! I may not get to them all, but I thank all that provided me with a review. You guys are what make the day bearable! :3_

_**Hellen:**__You are so right, Ayase did have interest on his debt. I am in no ways a mathematician though so I kind have left those details vague. Let's just say the magical yaoi fairy paid it off…_

_**XxMyth MakerxX: **__Thank you, thank you, and thank you! Your review means a bunch. Especially when you said you saw no spelling or grammar mistakes. I am a TERRIBLE speller and would die without spell check. I'm glad my story has caught your interest and I hope I don't disappoint! Ayase and Kanou actually really annoy me with the way they dance around their emotions, so this story is really important to me because they are finally on even ground. No lies or pretenses to keep them together. Anyway, I hope you continue to read!_

_**Onige-a**__: Yep, Ayase better lock his doors! :) Ayase is free though and Kanou better watch himself. I'm glad to finally have them at an even level. My main hope is to show that a prison, no matter how nicely dressed up, is still a prison. It's something I think Kanou needs to learn._

_**See1like**__: Thanks for the review. I have a lot planned for Ayase and Kanou. And a few others too, but those are secrets. ;)_

_**A Dangerous Notion:**__Yeah, I have problems with Kanou as well. It's nice when he actually has to be a gentleman other then a bully. I have a lot planned for this fic, so I hope you stick with it._


	3. Falling

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

**A/N:**_Lyrics used in this chapter are "Lost you anway" By: Toby Keith_

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_"I loved you just enough to make you stay...and I lost you anyway."_

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**Chapter Three: Falling**

"Someya-mama?"

The okama looked up from where she had been sitting at her desk, fixing her make-up in a small compact. "Yes Todo-chan?"

Toduku tugged nervously at the hem of her skirt. "You said to let you know if Shachou showed up…"

"…..And?"

"He's here."

There was barely a moment for Someya to blink, before she was standing, grabbing her purse, and sprinting for the door (as best she could in heels and a dress). "If anyone asks, you never saw me!" she hissed to Toduku on her way out.

Sneaking down the stairs, Someya signaled to her other most trusted employee, Buruko, before slipping into the kitchen. "You didn't see anything!" she snapped to Hida, the kitchen helper.

Finally, the back door was in sight. Giddy that she had escaped Kanou's wrath for the moment, she opened the door with a flourish…and was met with a very angry Kanou. "Damn…" Someya cursed under her breath.

"WHERE IS AYASE?!"

"N-now Dana, lets go up to my office and talk about-"

Kanou slammed his hand against the door frame, making the nearby cupboards rattle. "TELL ME!"

Someya took a deep breath, knowing she had to get Kanou somewhere without many people around, or else he might end up destroying the whole shop. The okama could tell the male was close to his breaking point, he always was whenever Ayase was concerned. "Kanou-san, please come up to my office and we shall discuss this matter." Someya said slowly, turning on her heel.

Kanou growled, but reluctantly followed, the Kuba twins trailing him silently. Someya mentally breathed a sigh of relief that Kanou had not decided to make a scene. He reminded the okama of a caged tiger, wild and unwilling to do as he was told, but having no other choice to comply. Someya smiled softly that at least her friend was trying, glad that her back was to Kanou so that the male couldn't see.

Sitting down, he called to Toduku to bring up some tea as Kanou begrudgingly sat, Homare and Misao standing stoically behind him. As the door clicked shut behind Toduku, Someya's smiled slipped, turning into a pout as she massaged her temples. "Do you have to make such a scene in front of my customers? You big jerk…."

Kanou's growl was an obvious threat, his knuckles white with the effort if trying to leash his mounting anger. "I don't care about you or your damn shop okama! Tell me where Ayase is!"

Someya shot him an irate look and crossed her arms stubbornly. "If Aya-chan wants you to know where he is, then he'll tell you."

"Don't give me that kind of shit Someya! I know you helped him so tell me!"

"Someya glared defiantly. " No, and nothing you can say will make me tell you!"

"I can ruin you," Kanou threatened, "I'll tear your shop to pieces."

Someya didn't even bat an eyelash at Kanou's threat. "And that will never get you any closer to Aya-chan."

Toduku walked in quietly, setting down the tray of tea on Someya's desk before hurrying out. While she would have loved to stay and ogle her beloved Shachou, she knew better then to stick around when at any moment Kanou could go ballistic.

"Someya, I swear I'll-"

"You'll what? Kill me? Tie me up and torture me?"

Kanou's voice dropped ominously. "If I have to…"

Someya rolled her eyes and gave a disbelieving huff. "Kanou you're being absolutely ridiculous. Yes, Ayase is free from you, but that doesn't mean you've lost him. You're on even ground now and that scared you. Busting down the door and dragging him back isn't going to win his heart."

Kanou lashed out in rage, grabbing the tea tray and throwing it against the far wall before storming out. Someya only sighed in disappointment, shaking her head. "He just never learns…" he murmured to the Kuba twins.

Misao gave a curt nod to his brother before following after Kanou. Homare bowed to Someya in apology. "As you can tell he is justifiably upset. I apologize on his behalf."

The okama chuckled. "There is nothing justified in a tantrum. But your apology is accepted."

Homare nodded, turning to leave. However, he paused in the doorway, looking back at the okama. "Why didn't you just tell him where Ayase is?"

"Because that would be too easy," Someya replied with a sly smile, "And if he really wants Ayase, he'll have to work for it."

Homare nodded thoughtfully. "Is Ayase all right at least?"

"Of course, I always take care of my dears."

Satisfied with Someya's answer, he hurried to catch up with his furious boss and twin brother. Someya would take care of Ayase, Homare was sure. The Kuba twin breathed a silent sigh of relief at the news. A part of him was secretly happy Ayase was free, even if it caused his boss great anguish. Kanou was to demanding and overbearing. Ayase needed someone that would take care of him and listen to him. Someone like-

No, now was especially not the time to be thinking such things. Homare had tucked such thoughts away long ago. So what if Ayase was free? It didn't mean anything to him. It wouldn't last long enough for to even entertain such ideas.

Sliding into the drivers' seat of the car, he looked into the rearview mirror where Kanou could be seen fuming in the backseat. "Misao, hack into Someya's accounts, Ayase's too."

"Yes sir."

"And Homare, when we get back to the office, check over all of Ayase's notes. Make sure they add up."

Homare's hands tightened on the steering wheel. "Yes sir."

Kanou relaxed a little, leaning back against the seat. They would find Ayase, Someya be damned. The blond was his, and there was no way he'd ever let him go.

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_**A/N:**__So, just to clear up any confusion about the time and setting of the chapters, it's still basically all in the same day so far. While Kanou was finding Ayase's note in chapter one, Ayase was talking with Someya in chapter two. And as Kanou was throwing a fit at Someya's in this chapter, Ayase had been walking home and getting ready for bed and all the stuff he was doing at the end of chapter two. So even if it seems Kanou took a long time to find Ayase, he really didn't…._

_I really hope that makes sense….It did in my head…._

_Anyway, as always at the end of every chapter, I get down on my knees and beg for reviews!_

_**Review Replies!** Thanks to all who read and reviewed. Even if I didn't get to you, you still have my undying love and affection! :D_

**Yaoifangirl89:** _It's not really that Ayase doesn't think Kanou loves him; he just doesn't think Kanou loves him for the right reasons. Obviously he knows that Kanou holds some affection for him (or else he would never have saved him and provided for him) but, their whole life together has been Kanou taking from Ayase and bossing him around. Now it's time for Ayase to live his own life for a little while (and for Kanou to grow up!!!)_

**Onige-a**_**:**__Imagine what life would be like if Kanou DID own the universe! :O Thanks for the read and review!_

**Hellen:** _Well, obviously the fated first meeting wasn't in this chapter, but don't be too discouraged, it will happen very soon! (-cough- next chapter –cough-). As far as dating goes, I'm not really sure Ayase would want to do that, at least for a little while. He just got out of a domineering relationship, why would he want to try his hand at more?! Besides, Kanou would kill anyone that approached him! But, we shall have to see how the story goes. You never know what happens…_

Pi**xieFrog**_: Thank you! That means a lot to me! I really strived hard to have Ayase maintain his optimism. He is a little older and a little wiser about things, but he's still hopeful and tries to make the best out of a bad situation! That's why I love him so much! :)_

**XxMyth MakerxX:** _Thanks for the wonderful review! The long ones are the best to read! Yeah, normally I like to rush through stories to get right to the juicy tidbits, but this one I really really wanted to create something long and profound. I mean, everyone just automatically assumes that Ayase will love Kanou but, that guy is a bully and a borderline rapist!!! Hehehehe, I like to make him squirm!_

_My evil tendencies aside, 'No Money, No Love' is really turning out to be something epic and I hope I can make it live up to everyone's expectations. Once again, thank you for the review and the support!_

**see1like:** _Well, of course there will be trouble! Or else we wouldn't have a story! :) But trouble is only half the fun. Thanks for the review and the support, please keep reading!_

**A Dangerous Notion:** _-dies laughing at the switched roles comment- Aw, now I'm ghost writer…… _

_Anyway, that would be pretty hilarious. Imagine, A NICE KANOU! I'm pretty sure he did make Ayase quit, but the job is sort of needed for the story so thank you for over looking that little fact! I try my hardest to stay in character and go with the original plot, but sometimes I just can't avoid one or two changes…_

_I am sort of building up the story a little before the meeting, I just hope I didn't wait too long since we're already in the third chapter…Oh well, it will work regardless I'm sure._


	4. Strength

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ The song used for the beginning of this chapter is "Here Is Gone" by the Goo Goo Dolls. _

_FYI, "_**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**" _indicates a scene change_.

_And, as you will probably read, I edited chapters two and three so that instead of saying 'he' for Someya, it says 'she'. See1like was right and Someya chose to be a female and I should address her as such. Sorry for that, and thank you See1like for expressing your opinion in a non-flame way. :)_

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"_And I want to get free, talk to me  
I can feel you falling  
And I wanted to be all you need  
Somehow here is gone_

_I have no solution_  
_To the sound of this pollution in me_  
_And I was not the answer_  
_So forget you ever thought it was me…"_

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**Chapter Four: Strength**

With the morning came a sense of bitter-sweetness for Ayase. His first official day without Kanou started with wiping the lingering tears from the night before. It was the first time in three years that there was no one to cook for, no one to clean up after.

No good morning kisses…

He was surprised how much he missed that. How lonely it was to wake up for no one, go to sleep with no one. For a moment, as he lay quietly in the early morning sun, he grappled with the overpowering feelings of loss and lack of usefulness.

'No,' he scolded himself, 'you're stronger then this! You have things to do, so stop sulking and get started!'

That much was true. There was painting to be done and he needed a few necessities for the apartment. Before that though there was cleaning and all kinds of other things. Goals gave him purpose, something else to focus on. He climbed out of bed, already making plans and lists. He had a few ideas already for how he wanted to decorate the rooms.

By the time Ayase dressed and was getting ready to leave, he was feeling much better. Slowly but surely he would find his own way. He was an adult with a job and a place of his own. Some people weren't as lucky as to have even that and he should be grateful for a fresh start.

Buying a muffin from the bakery downstairs, he set off for the stores lining the streets, thinking to himself that today was going to be a good day.

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

Kanou looked up at the little apartment above the bakery with obvious disdain. Ayase had left him for this run-down piece of crap? His frown deepened as he stepped out of his car and inside of the little shop below.

"Why hello deary, how may I help you?" asked an older lady behind the counter, giving him a pleasant smile.

Kanou put up a charming face. Scaring the older women wouldn't help him get to Ayase, even though he felt like he'd rather go on a destructive rampage. "I was wondering if I could inquire about the apartment above your shop?"

"Well, I'm sorry but I'm afraid we already found a tenant."

"Yes I know, I was just wondering if you could confirm something for me. Your tenant, is his name Yukia Ayase?"

The women smiled. "Why, yes it is! Such a sweet boy, and very pretty too. Are you a friend of his?"

For the first time since yesterday, Kanou relaxed. Finally, he had found him. "Yes I am. Is he here now?"

"Oh, you just missed him. He left about twenty minuets ago to buy some things for the rooms upstairs. But I'm sure he'll be back soon. There's only so much you can carry without a car."

Kanou's smile became strained. "Thank you for your help." He said quickly before leaving.

He felt like cursing for having such rotten luck. But, it was no matter. He had spent hours searching for Ayase; he could wait a few more. Climbing back into the car, he told Homare to park the car down the street.

Now all he had to do was wait.

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

"Thank you so much Someya-san for letting me store some things here until tomorrow."

The okama smiled at Ayase, pouring him some tea. "No problem Aya-chan. Buruko said she'd be by around noon tomorrow to drop of your things. You'll have to invite us all over when you finish redecorating."

"Of course." Ayase agreed, gratefully taking the tea the okama offered.

Shopping had been a great distraction for the blond, but he still felt exhausted from so much walking and the lingering worry. On and off all day he had been switching between intense longing and panic. He'd spent most of the time glancing over his shoulder, waiting for Kanou or one of the Kuba twins to step up and drag him away.

What was worse though, was the little stab of hurt he felt when he realized that so far he hadn't heard a word from Kanou. It wasn't what he wanted, but still…

"Aya-chan, is something wrong?"

The blond looked up at the okama, not bothering to hide his feelings of uncertainty. "I'm fine Someya-san, its just…why hasn't he come for me?"

Someya thought briefly back to the episode from earlier that morning and smiled. "Would you like him to?"

Ayase frowned. "I'm not sure. I'm happy, but…"

Someya patted his hand encouragingly. "You just don't want to believe the last three years meant nothing."

Ayase nodded, the tears he'd been holding back finally falling freely. "I'm scared Someya. I want to live my life, but a part of me still doesn't want to lose him."

The okama hugged the blond as he cried quietly. "Don't be upset Ayase. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with how Kanou feels."

The younger male wiped at his tears, looking up at Someya for answers. "What do you mean?"

Someya sighed tiredly. "I wish I could give you the answers you want Aya-chan but I can't speak for Kanou."

The blond nodded again, the hurt and defeat evident in his teary blue eyes. "I know Someya-san. Thank you."

The okama gave Ayase another hug, doing her best to console the blond. "Don't think about Kanou so much right now, think about yourself. This is your time."

"You're right," Ayase agreed, sitting up straighter, "I have things to do without Kanou."

"That's right! Stand up for yourself!"

Ayase laughed, the first real laugh Someya had heard from him in awhile. She was pleased, especially since it wouldn't be long before the blond would come face to face with Kanou. At least, for a little while, he could enjoy himself. Because Someya felt that very soon, it would all come crashing down.

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

Homare tensed as he saw Ayase walking merrily down the side-walk, oblivious to the car parked across the street where he and Kanou sat, watching and waiting for him.

The Kuba twin was torn as he watched Ayase walk up the steps to his apartment above the bakery. He seemed so care-free and happy. Away from Kanou, the blond's attitude was so much brighter.

And here they where, ready to take him away.

There were many times since Kanou had first purchased Ayase where Homare had disagreed with his boss. His angry out bursts and jealous rages, the way he would savagely take Ayase without any regard to who was around or how Ayase felt. Every time though, Homare had kept his mouth shut.

However, in that moment, as Kanou exited the car to take back his prize, Homare believed he truly hated him.

Kanou was too dazed to care about much at the moment. Ayase was right there in his sights, and his world narrowed to nothing but the blond angel behind the door. He felt as if he had waited eons for Ayase, and he wanted nothing more then to pull him into his arms.

He pounded on the door. "Ayase, open up this door right now!"

Kanou heard a crash, like a plate of glass being dropped to the floor, then a muffled sound of alarm. "If you don't open this door, I'll break it down!" he threatened.

He paused, listing to Ayase's hurried footsteps and the clicks of the locks being undone. Then there he was, his angels face peeking from a crack in the door. "W-what do you want Kanou?" Ayase asked timidly.

Did he really have to ask? "I'm here for you."

Ayase took a deep breath, willing his hands to stop shaking as he pulled the door open a little more to face the older male. "Kanou, I'm not going with you."

Kanou slammed his hand against the door frame, making Ayase jump and give a startled squeak. "I'm not letting you go, you're mine!"

Ayase gripped the door knob so tightly, his hands ached with the effort. "I don't belong to anyone but myself."

Kanou growled, grabbing Ayase's wrist and dragging him outside. "You will come with me!" he thundered, rage bursting through him.

Ayase struggled, pulling back against the overpowering strength of the bigger male. "Let me go! I don't want to be with you."

Kanou stilled, though his vise like grip did not loosen. He turned to face stare down at the blond with cold, angry eyes. "So you'd rather stay here in this hovel? Even after all I've done for you?"

Ayase flinched as the iron hold tightened. He would definitely have some nasty bruises come morning. He didn't crumple against Kanou's will though, but instead faced him with a bravado he didn't feel. "I want to stay here."

"Never!" Kanou roared, eyes wild as he crushed Ayase against him in a desperate embrace.

That pained Ayase the worst, more then the arms damaging his sensitive skin. But he could never tell him that or show how weak Kanou was making him. The blond pushed back against the older male. "Stop it Kanou, you're hurting me!"

Kanou let him go, eyes resting on Ayase's delicate wrist where already bruises bloomed on his angel's skin. Guilt tore him up inside and it forced him to look away. He had never meant to hurt Ayase, had sworn never to hurt him again. That wasn't his intention in the least. He only wanted to protect him and cherish him.

Love him.

"I won't go with you." Ayase said firmly.

"I won't let you go." Kanou replied with equal conviction.

Ayase shook his head, turning away. "That's not your choice any longer."

Without another word, he walked back inside, leaving Kanou in a state of anger and disbelief. How dare Ayase do this to him? He had done everything for him! "I won't give up Ayase!" he vowed, slamming his fists against the door, "Whether you believe it or not, you're _mine_!"

Ayase leaned against the closed door, shaking as he listened to Kanou stomp away. He wasn't sure exactly what he had expected when he saw Kanou again, but it hadn't been this. Not the yelling and the pain, and especially not the unrelenting need to chase after the man and beg for forgiveness.

Burying his face in his hands, he wept.

* * *

_**A/N:**__It's far-fetched to think that Kanou, with his mad ninja skills, would take so long to find Ayase. But for the sake of the story, let's just say it did. Blame the magical Yaoi Fairy!_

_I re-wrote the first meeting scene literally like, 5 times. I really hope people are satisfied with it as I was. I tried my hardest to make it as epic as possible but…well, we shall see what the fans say! Also, this chapter was originally divided into two chapters, but people keep mentioning that they prefer longer chapters, so I pushed two of them together and hoped for the best that it flows right in the end._

_Wow, I have so many insecurities about this story! Yikes! D:_

_**Review Replies!**__ Even if I didn't mention you, know that you have my undying love and affection! Please read and review!_

_**XxMyth MakerxX:**__For all of his brute-ness, I do love Kanou. I just wish he had a little more common sense most of the time. And I have big plans for Homare. :) I always did feel a little sorry for him in the manga and anime. He is sort of sweet. It makes my heart flutter in happiness that you and everyone else read. Thanks again!_

_**PixieFrog:**__ I have been trying to make the chapters longer, but sometimes the natural breaks make it hard. Thank you though for your wonderful review! I'm really hoping not to drag it out too long, but I do have many plans and ideas for the characters (D: and some are pretty dramatic!). I just pray it's good enough that you continue to read and review! _

_**A Dangerous Notion**__: I could never remember their names either…I actually had to go back and re-read the manga just to find them. Buruko and Todo aren't major characters, but I thought using names was better then just saying 'the manly blond one and the fat one'. XD_

_I'm slightly disappointed with myself that you didn't like the confrontation with Someya. I will strive to do better and hopefully things will get clearer as more of Kanou's turmoil is reveled. I didn't really think he'd be thinking clearly at that moment. This isn't one of those times where Ayase is just kidnapped and Kanou gets to burst in and play hero. I do have a chapter planned where Kanou really has one of those emotional moments though, so don't worry. I hope that will live up to your expectations! I aim to please the fans! (Especially since it's the only gratification I get since I'm not being paid…XD)_

_And don't fear, I have a scene planned already where Kanou realizes how much of jerk he is. I'm not so sure about the manly lone tear…but I'll see what I can do. ;)_

_**See1like:**__-sighs and bows apologetically- You are so right about Someya. As you can tell, I changed it. I debated it and figured if I got one comment about it, I'd change it. I'm sorry for any offense I caused. _

_Other then that, thank you for the review and for continuing reading my story!_


	5. One Step at a Time

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ Hello everyone! Another update for you all. I know my updates aren't very consistent and I apologize. I'm really just posting it as it comes. Plus, chapter five was a big concern. Nothing much is done in this chapter but it's a necessary filler that leads into the epic parts of the story. Still, there were a few things I was unsure about doing. In the end though, I realized that this is my story and I will write it how I see fit. I do hope people will continue to read it though and enjoy it. Thank you to all the wonderful readers! And now…chapter five of 'No Money, No Love'._

* * *

"_Sometimes it takes a second to sink in,  
That your life is never going to be the same again  
Breathe in, breathe out, it'll be okay  
Breathe in, they say the pain will fade away…"_

* * *

**Chapter Five: One step at a time**

Ayase woke with a start the next morning to heavy pounding on his front door. Heart racing, he scrambled out of bed to hurriedly pull on some clothes. Oh Gods! Was it Kanou again? Was he here to make him go back?

"Aya-chan~! Wakey, wakey!"

The blond visibly relaxed as he recognized Buruko's gruffly sweet voice. "Coming!" he called, sighing with relief as he tugged on a clean shirt.

He opened the door with a smile, hoping his eyes weren't too red from crying most of the night. Ayase felt drained, but didn't want Buruko to worry since most likely she would tell Someya. The last thing Ayase wanted was to worry his friends.

"Aya-chan!" Buruko greeted cheerfully, her arms stacked with boxes, "I'm surprised you're still sleeping at this hour!"

The blond tended to be an early riser, and he frowned as he realized he wasn't even sure what time it even was. "What time is it?"

"Around noon."

Ayase frowned at the unfamiliar voice, and he motioned for Buruko to step inside to peer curiously around the burly okama. Following the blond inside was a much younger and smaller male. He smiled at Ayase warmly, carrying an assortment of bags in his arms. With golden blond hair that spilled down to his waist and a slim build, he looked as petite as any female. In fact, Ayase might have been fooled into thinking he was a girl if he wasn't seeing him up close. _'This must be what people think when they first see me.'_ he thought sarcastically. The young male must have the same people problems as he did with such effeminate features and large stormy blue eyes.

"Nice place you got here," the stranger greeted, setting down the load he had been carrying to shake Ayase's hand, "I'm Ashihara Skyler."

"Are you an American?" Ayase asked, curious of the males sun kissed complexion and foreign name.

The male grinned sheepishly. "Only half, on my fathers' side."

"Isn't he just darling Aya-chan?" Buruko gushed, "Someya-mama just hired him! She thought he'd appeal to those 'exotic types' that come into the shop!"

Skyler shrugged. "It seems like a fun job. My first assignment was to help Buruko-chan drop off your stuff."

Ayase offered them both a strained smile, feeling much more exhausted then he was letting on, but still trying to be polite. "Well, I look forward to working with you Skyler-san."

"Oh, you don't have to be so formal, just call me Skyler." He gave Buruko a smirk, "Or as the girls at the shop have started calling me 'Sukai-chan'."

Ayase chuckled. "It's better then 'Aya-chan' at least."

"Now now you too, let's go unpack everything else!" Buruko cut in, ushering the two young males outside.

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

Half an hour later, everything had been unpacked and Ayase was busying himself making tea for Buruko and Skyler. His mood had improved immensely since the okama and the blond had arrived. It was becoming habit for Ayase to bury all unwanted thoughts deep away, refusing to let anything deter him from the task at hand. While a part of him knew that such things probably weren't healthy, they nonetheless allowed him to enjoy the company of his friends. Step by step it was becoming easier to just relax and listen to Buruko talk about the girls at the shop, Skyler listing pleasantly.

Ayase had learned a little about Skyler over the last half hour. Surprisingly the male was younger then Ayase, barely 19, and lived alone in an apartment just down the block. He seemed very quiet, though Ayase wasn't sure if he always acted as such or if he just felt uncomfortable being in a different place. Skyler was slender and graceful, as well as unnaturally pretty for a male. Though Ayase had a similar demeanor, Skyler seemed much more at ease with his looks then Ayase usually did.

All in all, he seemed to be very nice and Ayase looked forward to getting to know him better.

"This is wonderful tea Aya-chan," Buruko interpreted Ayase from his quiet musings, "You should bring some for Someya-mama!"

The blond smiled. "I'll have to bring some for her when I come in tomorrow then."

"That reminds me, I should be heading back to the shop." The brawny okama turned to Skyler. "You can head home for the day if you want Sukai-chan."

"Thanks Buruko-chan. I'll see you Tuesday."

As Buruko left, Skyler offered Ayase help in cleaning up. "I've got a few hours to kill, so it's no problem."

"Thank you!" Ayase gushed, glad to have the help. He had quite a lot to do and was unsure he could get it all done by himself.

Moreover, and though he didn't want to admit it, he was afraid to be alone after the episode with Kanou the night before. Without distraction, he would surely collapse. And if he had guests over Kanou was, hopefully, less likely to bust in and make a scene.

They talked idly as they cleaned and organized, getting to know one another. Ayase babbled about his decorating plans for the rooms, and Skyler told him how he knew someone giving away furniture and appliances. "He's a good friend of mine and he's moving in with his boyfriend." Skyler explained, "He offered the stuff to me if I wanted and was going to just sell the rest. I can call him up and tell him I'll take it for you if you want."

"Really?" It would sve Ayase a lot of money and hassle if he could get it.

Skyler shrugged and smiled. "Well you need the stuff and he wants to get rid of it. Its win-win."

By the time evening set in, Ayase was immensely happy. He would be getting furniture for the apartment, he'd been able to get everything he wanted done, and he'd had a great time with Skyler. The male wasn't as outlandish as the okamas at the shop, but he still seemed very open and fun.

Someya was always telling him that connections with people where important. Already he was realizing just how good it was to have a friend. Someya had been a godsend when he desperately needed someone to help guide him, and the girls at the shop were always there to make him smile and forget his worries. Now Skyler was becoming someone else he could get along with. '_A new friend in my new life. I wonder who else I'll be able to meet.'_ he thought wistfully as Skyler got ready to leave.

"Are you sure you wouldn't like to stay for dinner?" Ayase asked.

"I'm meeting my brother tonight and have some errands to run before that. Another time, okay?"

"All right. Until then!"

As he shut and locked the door behind Skyler, Ayase immediately felt uneasiness creep in around him. While he had enjoyed the day and had kept himself busy, a part of him was still waiting anxiously for Kanou to suddenly jump out and snatch him up.

Now alone, all his doubts and fears were suddenly at the forefront of his mind. He could easily picture Kanou's face from the night before, so full of rage. And pain too. Ayase had seen the hurt underneath all the fury and it made his heart ache. He hated feeling like that.

He was realizing more and more a part of him wished to return. This new life was terribly lonely, leaving too much room for apprehension and uncertainty. He had always functioned better when he felt useful. Some may call him 'co-dependent', but was it so wrong to want to be needed?

Sighing, he opted to skip dinner and took a hurried shower instead. He practically crawled into bed, the physical and emotional exertion of the day finally getting the better of him. He hadn't felt this tired in forever. The last few days had been a rollercoaster of emotions and Ayase would love nothing more then to climb off the ride and fall into mindless oblivion.

If only for a little while.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ :O I ended the chapter with Ayase sleeping again…..dang. It's just such a natural break to end it with someone going to bed…..oh well…._

_Anyway, I think this is the last filler chapter I have written. The next chapters are where the drama starts happening. Hahahaha! I'm actually really excited! I hope everyone else is too. Can't wait to see everyone's reactions when all the pieces start to fall into place._

_Lyrics used for this chapter are "One Step at a Time" by Four Year Strong. It's actually a really really sad song about someone remembering their loved one dieing and about having to take everything day by day, even though you miss them. It kind of fits I guess, but no one died…_

_By the way, is anyone interested beta'ing No Money, No Love? I have a beta but they've never read Okane Ga Nai so it's hard to have her beta it when she doesn't know the characters…Let me know if you're interested! :3_

_Until next time chicklets!_

_**Review Replies!**__ Even if I don't get to you, your reviews make my day worth living! Thank you and continue to read and reply! :3_

_**Onige-a:**__ Thank you for the long review. Those are the best! In a perfect world, I'm sure he would be the romantic seme. But, then he wouldn't be the brute we all know in love. He seriously needs to learn how to woo a person though, instead of bursting through the door and kidnapping them. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter! :D_

_**XxMyth MakerxX:**__ In the end, I don't really think Kanou ever really wanted to hurt Ayase. He's just so fragile and naïve, hurting him just seems inevitable. I am so very happy that you thought I got Kanou's reaction right. I had a lot of angst about the chapter seeing as how it was so important. Your reviews always make me happy! Thank you again!_

_**See1like:**__ Uh, if you meant 'new characters' as in Buruko, Todo, and Hida, their actually in the manga. They're not central characters, but they're okama's at Someya's shop. In fact, the only OC as of now would be Skyler which I introduced this chapter. Don't worry though, Todo and Buruko or only mentioned on the side. :) I hope that's what you meant. If not, then I'm sorry for being such a ditzy writer….._

_Kanou is a very stubborn character, and the cave attitude (which I loved that reference by the way!) is such a hard habit to break since it's worked for him in the past. But your right, he'll have to break that habit at some point if he ever wants to win Ayase's affection! :3 Keep reading!_

_**NowakiStar:**__ Thank you so much for the review! I know there aren't many great stories for Okane Ga Nai. It was really frustrating me too so finally I just decided to write my own! And thank you also for reminding me that it's my story and I should write it the way I want. You were a great help since I had been feeling so angsty about how my story was going…_

**A Dangerous Notion**: _As always, you make me so happy when I read your reviews! I work really hard to try to make sure everyone stays in character, but at the same time so much time has gone by that I need to fit their maturity in. _

_You're right, I probably haven't included Someya as much as a should have, at least where Ayase is concerned. I don't think Kanou will be seeking out her advice as of right now though since he feels angered and betrayed that she helped Ayase. However, she is an important character, in fact she is one of my favorites, and I don't plan on her being just shoved off to the side!_


	6. Struggle

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ Chapter five was so lacking in anything substantial, so I decided to post chapter six early. There is actually a lot that happens in chapter six that kind of leads off into the major issues of the story. No Money, No Love is actually turning out to have a lot more sub ideas then I originally thought. I blame my lit class; it's just so damn interesting._

_Oh FYI, there is a bit of a limey moment in this chapter. Nothing spectacular, but someone gets hot and bothered none the less! Heh heh heh…:3 YE HAVE BEEN WARNED!_

_Anyway, I want to thank all the readers who have not viciously attacked me for including an OC. I know a lot of you have concerns but don't worry, I hate OC's most of the time and I know better then to shove them into the limelight of a story plot. Have faith! While Skyler is kind of an important addition to the story, I have no plans on him being the star._

_Thank you to all for sticking with the story. And now, for chapter six!_

* * *

"_With an ironclad fist, I wake up and French kiss the morning  
While some marching band keeps its own beat in my head  
While we're talking about all of the things that I long to believe,  
About love and truth, what you mean to me  
And the truth is baby you're all that I need_

_I want to lay you down in a bed of roses  
For tonight I sleep on a bed of nails  
Oh, I want to be just as close as the Holy Ghost is  
And lay you down on bed of roses…"_

* * *

**Chapter Six: Struggle**

Homare watched the young blond leave Ayase's apartment, swinging his hips as he disappeared into the crowd, walking in what the Kuba twin assumed was the direction of his home. He probably was a new shop worker, seeing as how he had arrived with the brawny blond okama Buruko, but Homare really didn't give him much thought besides that. He wasn't there to learn about some stranger.

There was only one blond that held any interest for him. Kanou had ordered him to keep a strict watch over Ayase, making sure that he was fine and no harm would come to him. Regardless of his boss's orders though, he would've watched out for Ayase, just as he always had.

It was easy to admit that Ayase's new found freedom was giving the normally level headed Kuba dangerous thoughts. He held great respect for Kanou, but that didn't mean he always agreed with him. Especially now, when he knew that Kanou was planning something. Whatever it was, it didn't mean well for the innocent blond.

Maybe there was something he could do. Maybe he could warn Ayase or help in some way…

He gave a sarcastic chuckle. Who was he kidding? Kanou would kill him. No, where Ayase was concerned Kanou would do much worse. Should his boss ever learn of Homare's feelings, then Homare would consider himself lucky if kill him was all Kanou did.

He watched Ayase's silhouette pass back and forth across the kitchen window. Homare could easily picture him bustling around as he cooked one of his delicious meals. Kanou was undeserving of such a precious angel.

Then again, was he any better sulking around and harboring such desire? He wanted to posses Ayase as much as Kanou. Only fear and loyalty kept him silent.

Only cowardice stopped him from running across the street and showing Ayase that Kanou wasn't the only one that could love him.

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

Kanou was a man that had everything.

Power and wealth, dashing good looks and an unrivaled intellect. Women wanted him, men wanted to be him. He could pick and choose who he wanted, and when and where he wanted them. He ruled the world by his whims.

However, none of it seemed to matter much at the moment. All the authority or riches in the world hadn't allowed it to keep the only thing he ever really wanted. What was the point anymore?

He lifted the bottle of Shochu to his lips, cursing as he realized he'd already emptied it. What a pitiful sight he must be. He should be coming up with a plan to win back his angel. Instead he was sitting on his cold bed, gently running his hands over the single shirt Ayase must have forgotten. His sweet scent still clung to the fabric, and Kanou pressed his face against the collar to drown himself in it. It pissed him off even as it comforted him.

He felt that he amounted to as much as the fabric clung tightly in his hands. Used once or twice, but easily discarded and forgotten. Kanou had been so sure of himself, so confident that he could bind Ayase to him and make him stay. It had been that arrogance that had cost him. Never, for one second, had he ever thought his angel would fly away.

"Nii-san? Aya-chan? Are you guys home?"

Kanou frowned at the sound of Gion's cheerful voice. What the hell was that idiot doing there? "Go away!" he growled.

"Aw, but I want to see Aya-chan! C'mon let me in!"

"He's not here!"

"Is he at Someya-san's? I can-"

"No!" Kanou roared, throwing the empty bottle in his hand and letting it shatter against the bedroom door. "He's not here anymore!"

There was silence on the other side of the door, though Kanou faintly heard the sound of the knob jiggling. Sure enough, a moment later the door sprang open. Kanou glared at the site of the other man. "Gion you bastard! Leave me the hell alone!"

"No," the blond answered simply, slipping the pin he used to pick the lock back into his bag, "Something happened and I want to know what. What did you do to Ayase?"

Rage boiled thickly in Kanou's blood as he glared at Gion. "What did I do?" He gave a sarcastic laugh as he stood. "I didn't do anything. It's all his doing! _He_ left _me_!"

Gion looked shocked for a moment. "He just left? You really let him go?"

"Of course not!" Kanou snapped. "I went there last night to take him back…but…"

He seemed to deflate suddenly, all the strength and will he possessed leaving him. "I couldn't do it. He looked at me as if he didn't even know who I was. It made me so mad! I was…"

Gion watched his friend carefully. "You were what?"

Kanou sighed. "I was afraid that if I stayed…I would have hurt him." And he swore, after their first time together, he would never hurt Ayase like that again. Still didn't lessen the hurt he felt easting away at him.

"He just pisses me off!" Kanou exploded, slamming his fist against the wall. "After all I've done for him! After all the times I saved him and all the things I gave him, he still just fucking leaves!"

Gion frowned, crossing his arms as he narrowed his gaze at the exasperated male. He felt a little sorry for his friend, but his 'poor me' speech was getting irritating. "What are you getting so angry for? It's your own damn fault."

Kanou whirled around, snarling at Gion like a wild beast. "What the fuck are you talking about? I did everything for Ayase!"

The younger male gave Kanou an angry stare. "You did everything huh? Like what?"

"I gave him a place to stay! I saved him from all the bastards that would-"

"And did you do any better?" Gion countered, "Did you ever think about the things he gave up for you?"

Kanou didn't know what to say.

"All you did was push yourself on him, molding him into your vision of what you wanted him to be, "he continued, "Did you ever wonder if that's what he wanted?"

"Get out." Kanou demanded through gritted teeth.

"You really piss me off. I had hoped that someday you'd finally get your head out of your ass but no, you sit here like you're a victim of some great injustice. If you want Ayase then go get him!"

Kanou slammed Gion against the door. "GET OUT!"

The blond groaned in pain from the blow to his head, but was still able to push Kanou away. Throwing one last dirty look over his shoulder, he grabbed his bag and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Kanou alone once more.

Forget Gion and Someya! As far as Kanou was concerned they were traitors. Gion with his accusations and that damned okama with her bullshit advice; he didn't need them to get Ayase back!

'_After all_,' he thought quietly, an idea slowly forming in his mind, '_There were other ways to buy his time…_'

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

_Kanou's tongue was like fire on his skin, burning away any inhibitions Ayase might have had. His hands seemed to be everywhere, caressing his lips, the sensitive nipples on his chest, and the place between his spread legs that begged to be touched the most. He had ceased saying 'no' long ago, his body demanding to be stated by Kanou's masterful hands._

"_You're mine Ayase," Kanou whispered huskily, teeth nipping playfully on the blonds' neck, "You're body, everything, and it's all mine…"_

Ayase woke with a gasp, his cheeks flushed and his body trembling. Taking a deep breath, he looked around his room, still not awake enough to really have his bearings. He placed a hand to his pounding heart, willing it to quiet enough to let him think. '_What kind of dream was that_?' he wondered, still slightly panicked.

His whole body ached; sweat beading and sliding down his skin. Even as he shivered, he still felt the heat pooling deep within. Not to mention a very evident problem between his legs.

His blush darkening, he glanced down at the tent in his pajama bottoms, suddenly feeling like using one or two curse words Kanou was so fond of using.

The thought of the older man brought back images from his dream, and he whimpered, his body heating to a dangerous level. Sighing in irritation, Ayase pulled off his shirt, trying to cool himself off. As the material brushed over his nipples though, he moaned softly, his body responding eagerly to the unintentional pleasure.

This time he really did curse.

Ayase huffed in annoyance at his overly sensitive body. He had work in the morning and needed sleep! He hoped that if he ignored his _problem_, it would just go away. But as he squirmed against the covers, trying to get comfortable, it only seemed to make him hotter and harder. Ayase felt like screaming out in aggravation. His body was ready and waiting for Kanou, but he was no where around.

Well, it wasn't like he couldn't do it himself…

He shook his head, embarrassed by such an idea. Then again, Kanou had liked to watch him touch himself sometimes. His gaze would be filled with desire as he whispered all kinds of dirty things into Ayase's ear, showing him where to touch and how to-

Ayase groaned at the memories, his body throbbing. Still unsure, he cupped himself through the thin material of his pajama bottoms. A soft moan escaped his lips as he teased himself, the pleasure from such a feather light touch almost too much to bear.

Thoughts of any embarrassment grew hazy as Ayase stroked himself, moaning wantonly as images of heat and desire played behind his tightly shut eyes. Kanou always knew how to make him feel so good. It was amazing, and frightening, that something that was supposed to be wrong could feel so wonderful.

Ayase fell back against the pillows, writhing and groaning as he stroked himself faster, his hips bucking unabashedly against his hand. His skin was slick with sweat, breathing erratic as pleasure hummed through his veins.

Idly, a part of him was aware of how humiliating he probably looked. Touching himself while thinking of Kanou, when only hours before he had so harshly told him he didn't need him. That was such a lie, obvious in the tears he had cried and the way his body now burned with tantalizing images of sweat and sex.

"Ah!...K-Kanou! Uh! AH!"

Ayase's backed arched as an all to familiar wetness coated his hands and lap. Dizzy and spent, he laid sprawled upon the rumpled bed sheets, trying to slow his racing heart and labored breathing.

As the haze of lust finally cleared, Ayase blushed darkly, looking down at his soiled cloths in disbelief. Did he really just do that? Hurriedly, he grabbed a tissue from a box near the bed and wiped his hand. Apparently he had…

Frowning, he climbed out of bed and, stripping down, hopped into the shower. He felt so agitated and wanted to yell or punch through the wall, which was something since he was usually so mild tempered. And the fact that his body still felt out of sorts wasn't helping either. Ayase knew there would be emotional and mental repercussions when he left, but such a physical demand from his body was a little disconcerting.

"What did you do to me Kanou?" he whispered tiredly, resting his head against the cool tile of the shower stall.

After his shower, Ayase wandered into his room feeling exhausted but knowing he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Glancing at his alarm clock, he decided to just get ready for work.

As he set water on the stove to boil for tea, Ayase slumped against the counter, absentmindedly watching the light in the kitchen brighten as the sun steadily rose, praying to any Gods that would listen that his day would at least be better.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Hey! A chapter that didn't end with someone going to sleep! Hahaha! In fact, it was more like he was woken up.... ;D_

_Anway, The lyrics for this chapter are probably my favorite so far. Its 'Bed of Roses' by Bon Jovi, though I prefer the version that Hinder sang. It's such a beautiful and sad song. Its about a man whose losing the only one he's ever loved to the call of fame and a life of drugs and alcohol. It's somehow sweet while still being depressing…_

_So, in this chapter Gion makes an appearance. But I really am not planning for him to show up much more. I hope people aren't mad by the lack of Someya at this point. I know she's usually the one Kanou goes to when he needs Ayase advice, but right now Kanou feels too betrayed to seek her help. I mean, she helped his only reason for living escape! And now Gion is on his ass too! D: Poor Kanou has no friends…but that's his entire fault for being a selfish bastard._

_This really was the whole point I was trying to make for this chapter. That Kanou's selfishness is what holds him back from seeing that he deeply hurt the only person he truly cares about. His intentions where good, but his attitude and planning are all wrong._

_Well, anywho, I'll cut my ramblings there for now. For the last word though I just want to say that my next update won't be as soon. I'm taking a little holiday to work on some important stuff. But when I do return, chapter seven shall be EPIC! :3_

_P.S. For all of you that care, Shochu is like a Japanese version of vodka._

_**Review Replies!**__ I love every reply I get, even if I don't mention them all. You guys are awesome!_

_**NowakiStar**__: Hahaha! Getting drunk off reviews is a good description. I always joke that reviews are like crack, the more we get, the more we want, and the harder we work to get them. I probably will hit you up on your offer to be a beta. I have so many insecurities and ideas for the story; it would be nice to unload them. Thanks for reading._

_**PixieFrog:**__ So true. Thanks for your review and continued support._

_**A Dangerous Notion:**__ I already PM'd you for your reply, but you help me so much I just wanted to give you an honorable mention. :3_

_**See1like:**__ I'm glad most people aren't completely disapproving of my OC. I felt like a mom dropping off her kid at the playground and hoping all the other kids would like him. Hahahaha! Thank you for support and review!_


	7. Trying Your Hardest

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** I am really really REALLY sorry to everyone who is reading 'No Money, No Love'. I know it has been awhile since my last update but I needed to seriously take some time off. I had some personal issues to deal with and then I really wanted to take a moment to rework some issues I had in the story plot. But I'm back now and giving you a new chapter! Once again, thank you and enjoy the latest chapter of 'No Money, No Love'!_

_

* * *

"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh_  
_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_  
_I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well_  
_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

_'cause I'm broken when I'm open_  
_And I don't feel like I am strong enough_  
_'cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome_  
_And I don't feel right when you're gone away..."_

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Trying Your Hardest**

Ayase was glad that at least the walk to Someya's shop was uneventful. It wasn't easy though, with his nerves so frayed and his body still feeling wound up. It was almost enough for him to want to hate Kanou, if he didn't already wish for the man show up and make him forget why he was hurting in the first place. It was all so confusing and painful, that the poor blond was desperate to talk to Someya. Maybe the okama would help him sort through the endless circle of his thoughts.

He waved to a few of the shop girls who were picking out dresses and getting ready for work. It wasn't often that Ayase actually dressed up and worked the main floor, most of the time he stayed in the kitchen to help Hida. But Someya always payed more when he entertained the bar customers, and seeing as how he was working to provide for himself now, his figured the extra pay would help.

"Wah! Aya-chan! I'm so happy you get to work with us!" one of the girls gushed, "You always are so adorable! But are you sure Shacho will be okay with it?"

Ayase physically flinched at the mention of Kanou. "I'm sure it will be fine."

He prayed that he would be able to avoid any more conversation until he could compose himself a little bit better, as he stored his stuff away and hurried upstairs to Someya's office. On the way he traded hello's to a few others, and even ran into Skyler, who he was surprised to see already dressed up in a short black pencil skirt and white blouse with matching black vest. He knew, of course, that if Skyler was working at the shop, he would play along with the weekly themes, but it still didn't prepare him to see his new friend dressed in such a way. "What are you wearing?" Ayase asked in surprised.

Skyler did a little turn, giving the shocked blond an impish grin. "What? Isn't the shop theme 'office worker'?"

"W-well, I think so but... I just didn't really think..."

Skyler laughed, giving Ayase a playful shove on his shoulder. "Don't think too much about it Aya-chan, just have fun with it. Besides, I'm sure you've got killer legs when you wear heels."

The blonde's cheeks flared, the red color startling against his pale skin. Skyler just laughed harder. "D-don't say something like that!" Ayase squeaked with wide eyes.

"Well, I will say this, seeing you flustered is much better then seeing you sad. You walked in like you were half dead."

Ayase quieted, realizing his friends teasing was just a way to make him feel better, and it had surprisingly worked. "I'm sorry... I didn't mean to be so-"

"Don't worry about it. You're a good person Ayase and don't deserve to look so down. Whatever is eating at you, just don't think too hard about it and I'm sure it will fix itself."

The blond nodded. "You're probably right. Thank you Skyler-kun for your help."

"No problem," the younger male said with a smile, "And remember, it's Sukai-chan at work!"

Ayase smiled slightly. "All right 'Sukai-chan'. Do you want to walk home together later?"

"Sure!" Skyler agreed, and with a little wave disappeared downstairs.

Ayase breathed a sigh of relief, actually feeling a bit better after his conversation with Skyler. The younger blond was definitely not what he had originally expected, but still a good person over all. Ayase was feeling much better as he knocked on Someya's office door. "Come in~" the okama called.

Ayase smiled and greeted the okama who was meticulously putting on her make-up. "What can I do for you Aya-chan?"

"Well..." he started hesitantly, settling in one of the office chairs, "I saw Kanou the day before yesterday..."

Someya gave Ayase a shocked look, putting down the tube of lipstick she had been about to apply. "And you're still here? Able to walk?"

Ayase gave her a confused look. "Why wouldn't I be able to walk?"

The okama giggled evilly. "Oh, no reason. Now, tell me what's wrong."

With a sigh, Ayase explained all that had happened. Kanou's sudden appearance, their argument, and then his just as sudden departure that had left Ayase's head spinning even after two days of not a single word. "I don't know what to make of it Someya-san!" Ayase exclaimed in exasperation, "He tells me he will never let me go, then doesn't contact me at all!"

"So you want him to come?"

"Well... yes... kind of... I don't want him to yell or hurt me. I just want to talk to him normally..."

Someya didn't miss the way Ayase circled his hand around his wrist, gently rubbing the fading bruises there. "I want him to approach me as an equal, not as someone he 'owns'. That was always the hardest part of being with him. I always felt like he never saw me all the way, just this frail stupid version of me."

Someya's eyes softened at the hurt expression on the blonde's face. Sometimes it felt like even she didn't see the blond all the way. There was so much more hidden behind those bright blue eyes. "I'm sure Kanou doesn't think you're stupid. He just wants to protect you from everything that would hurt you."

"He can't protect me from everything." Ayase said, almost bitterly.

Someya frowned at the hint of anger in Ayase's tone. She had never seen Ayase truly angry before and it was surprising to see his eyes darken in genuine rage. "What do you mean Ayase?"

"He didn't protect me from himself." he said venomously.

The moment he uttered the words, the color drained from his face, his hands covering his mouth as if be some way he could take them back. "I...I'm sorry...I didn't mean it..." he whispered, eyes filling with tears, "It never used to bother me the things we did but... I just don't know. I'm not sure about anything..."

Someya sighed, wondering how many more times Ayase would have to come crying to her office before Kanou finally got a clue. "Don't t feel bad for being angry Ayase. Its all right to feel this way. Hell, I'm happy that you do!"

"Really?"

"Yes! It's about time you say that you're angry! Kanou is a jackass and brute. Nothing you can say or do will ever change that. Its his nature to be the biggest and baddest of everyone. But do you know why?"

The blond gave a tearful shake of his head. "To protect you. To use any means necessary to make sure that you are taken care of. Does it make it right? Probably not. But he knows no other way."

A knock on the door interrupted them as Buruko poked her head in. "Someya-mama? It's almost time to open up!"

"All right!" she called back, giving Ayase a smile. "Why don't you go clean up and think about what I said."

"All right Someya... and thank you. For everything."

"Don't mention it." she said, picking up her make-up to finish quickly, "Just get ready and give it your all today Aya-chan!"

"**_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_**"

Kanou couldn't believe that he was back here so soon. Someya's betrayal cut deep and he wasn't sure he would be able to contain his anger, but he was quickly becoming a desperate man. He knew that at least this way, Ayase would feel obligated to speak to him, and in a public place Kanou would be less likely to cause a scene. He had to stop himself from the guilty shudder he felt at the memory of the bruises around his angel's wrist, the hurt look in his eyes.

He had swore never to hurt Ayase like that again. And for the last three years he had thought he had made good on that promise. The first year had been hard yes, tip toeing around each other, stumbling through heart break and tragedy. But an equilibrium had been reached, or so he had thought. Others had learned not to endanger his angel, and the threats had ceased. Kanou too, had thought he had figured out what made Ayase tick, the things that he liked and how Kanou could make him happy.

Understanding had been coming home each day, seeing Ayase's face, and feeling like despite the hell of the outside, here he could be at ease. He had never even seen the storm brewing in his very own home. Kanou had been too wrapped up in his own little world, thinking that every touch and kiss meant something deeper for Ayase. It had meant everything to him after all.

But now he didn't know what to think of anything. He was reduced to playing a paying customer at Someya's disgusting okama bar just to pay for Ayase to talk to him. He had been forced to sneak around and stalking because he wasn't sure what else to do. If the last three years hadn't allowed him to keep Ayase, then he really didn't know anything about the blond after all.

Any normal man would retreat from battle when in unfamiliar territory, but he didn't have that kind of time. Even know, as he walked into the bar, Homare following, he felt a hum of excitement settle within him. Like his very blood was singing for the angel that he knew was somewhere in that very building.

There was immediately a flurry of activity as he settled in a secluded booth in the back. He watched as a few of the 'girls' whispered and giggled to each other as he sent them the usual cold glare. His patience was wearing thin after his sleepless nights and arguments with Someya, Ayase, and then Gin. His sanity was slipping too with his angel so close, yet so far away. He needed Ayase, needed to feel his warm skin that was always so soft beneath his calloused fingers. Needed that open and honest smile to brighten his night and burn away the images of horror that made up his waking hours.

His inner lamenting was carefully hidden beneath a haughty grin when he spied Someya walking over to his table. The okama looked quite pissed as she stopped in front of him, hands on her hips as she glared. "What are you doing here Kanou?"

"What are you getting so defensive for okama? I'm just here as a paying customer."

"Forget that. If you're here to apologize then you would have come up to my office. What do you want?"

Kanou smirked, though his eyes where unforgiving and as cold as ice. "Just looking for a way to the spend the night. What kind of girls do you have here okama? I like petite blonds with blue eyes."

Someya looked to be contemplating scratching out Kanou's eyes with her blood red painted manicured nails. "You're being childish Kanou, playing games and sulking like a child."

"I wouldn't have to if he hadn't made me." he hissed.

"He didn't make you do anything, you're the one that insists hiding! Fine, you want a blonde, I'll get you a blonde."

Turning on her heel, Someya walked away from Kanou and into the back room the girls used as a dressing room. Inside most of the okamas where huddled around a shaking Ayase who looked close to tears. Upon seeing his friend, he all but threw himself at her feet. "What does he want? What is he doing here? Is he angry with me? Did he yell at you?" he babbled worriedly.

Someya grabbed Ayase by the shoulders and in all serious asked, "Do you want to talk to Kanou?"

Ayase froze, lookiing away in guilt before shaking his head quietly. "But I have too. I don't have a choice."

Someya smiled, releasing Ayase and guiding him to sit back down in a small director style folding chair. "Honey, we all have a choice. And if you don't want to see Kanou, no one can make you."

"But Someya-san," asked Ayase with concern, "What else can we do?"

The okama smiled, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well, he asked for a blond... so we'll give him one..."

* * *

_**A/N: **Watch your step! Its a cliff hanger! Well, not much of one but I decided to cut if off there. But seeing as how nothing really exciting happened, I will leave you with the promise that the next chapter will be later this week. I SWEAR BY THE YAOI GOD! This chapter was just here to be a cock tease and to let everyone know that I'm alive. _

_I have mixed feelings about this chapter. I feel pretty cool about Ayase showing anothersideof himself, and delving deeper into Kanou's mind... but at the same time,Ayase crying in Someya's office seems repetitve and I'm not always one hundred precent sure that I'm getting Kanou's character down right. We will have to see what happens._

_Luckily in the next chapter, its a little less talk and a lot more action! Until next chapter!_

_The song for this chapter was 'Broken' by Seether featuring Amy Lee. AMAZING SONG!_

_**Review Replies!** YOU KNOW I ALL LOVE YOU!_

_**Splitmercury:** Aw while thank you for taking the time to read this! And I am always so happy to hear that I get Ayase's character right. Its hard to add in so much complexity into what seems to be such a sweet simple character! Glad for your support!_

_**Tankyasue:** Wow I am happiest with the reviews are long! I am so glad that Ayase is consistent. I work so hard to try and keep Ayase optimistic even while harboring such deep emotions. Kanou bought him at an auction, molested him, and emotionally abuses him all the time! You can't tell me there isn't some deep inner monologue going through Ayase's mind! I went out on a little limb when I showed his angry side,so I hope it was still in character. :)_

_Heh heh heh, sorry about the Skyler, but I do promise his role to play is essential. I hope everyone comes to like him enough as a character..._

_**A Dangerous Notion:** Your reviews are always a godsend! Seriously, you are AMAZING! I'm glad you liked chapter five and I hope you continue to keep reading! _

_I was unsure about the Kanou drinking part. I guess what I was trying to go for was a more vulnerable side to Kanou buuuuuuut... we all see how it went. I hope I did better this time around but I'm not really sure with the whole inner depression sort of thinking. _

_To me, Kanou is kind of a selfish brat. He just takes and takes from Ayase, thinking he knows whats best when in reality, does he really know Ayase at all? But I won't get into that now._

_Thanks again for the advice! Until next time!_


	8. Courage

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ This chapter is a bit of comic relief. I think its much needed after so much inner turmoil monologue and weeping. I mean, I'm all about angsty drama and deeper feelings and crap... but I think some funny is needed before I launch back into the emo-ness... which there will be much of in a few chapters. For now enjoy chapter eight of 'No Money, No Love'!_

* * *

"_Forgive me if I stutter, from all of the clutter in my head,_

_'Cause I could fall asleep in those eyes, like a water bed_

_Do I seem familiar? I've crossed you in hallways a thousand times_

_No more camouflage, I wanna be exposed,_

_And not be afraid to fall,_

_Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_And cannonball into the water_

_Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce f confidence I have_

_For you I will_

_You always want what you can't have, but I've got to try_

_Oh, I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have_

_For you I will, for you..."_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Courage**

Kanou couldn't hide the triumphant smirk when he spied the blond walking his way. However, that smile was quickly replaced with a frown when he realized it wasn't _his_ blond. Sure, the young man was just as lithe and beautiful as Ayase, but definitely not as kind or open. His smile was sweet, but Kanou could tell by the stiff set of his shoulders and the gentleness that didn't quite reach his eyes that he was broken on the inside.

Such observations though didn't stop Kanou from giving the young man one of his infamous glares. "What do you want okama?"

The young man didn't miss a beat as he slid into the booth seat across from Kanou. "Simply doing my job. Could I interest you in some sake?"

"Get out of here," he barked, "I didn't ask for your company."

"Yes you did. Blue eyes and a blond right?"

Kanou's hand tightened into a fist, feeling like strangling Someya for twisting his words. "Damn fucking okama's..." he muttered under his breath.

"I'll have you know that I am not an okama. I have all my man bits thank you very much, its not my fault I look better in a skirt then you do."

Kanou frowned, unsure if he really heard such crude talk from such a seemingly innocent person. If he hadn't heard the amused quiet chuckle from the usual silent Homare, he would have though that he was hearing things. "Who the hell are you?"

"Ashihara Skyler, but during work hours you can call me 'Sukai-chan."

"I'm not calling you anything so get the hell out of here. I want to talk to Ayase!" Kanou demanded.

Skyler shrugged, crossing his legs and twisting a lock of his golden blond hair around his fingers. If he was trying to look seductive, it only seemed to piss Kanou off more. "Well I'm sorry but Aya-chan isn't available at the moment."

Kanou slammed his hand against the table, making a few people nearby jump in surprise. Skyler didn't even flinch, but instead smiled as if completely relaxed. "Someya-mama was right, you are a brute."

"Shut up..." Kanou growled, though he was becoming a bit wary as to who Skyler was and his connection to Ayase and Someya. "What the hell do you want?"

"Many things," Skyler said with a wave of his hand, " A million dollars. A boyfriend to love me. For the world to accept my existence. For my apartment to have hot water in the mornings during winter."

Kanou's eye twitched slightly as his annoyance increased. He leveled a glare at the nuisance of a blond, then one at Homare who he could hear trying his hardest not laugh. What ever happened to his bad ass quiet lackeys? Did everything else have to fall apart too once Ayase left? "You know what I mean, damn it! Quit trying to play games and tell me where Ayase is!"

"Or what? You're gonna send tall dark and silent there behind you to bite me? Heck, I just might keep it up so he will."

Homare actually felt his face heating up at the sexy smile Skyler sent his way. Just who the hell was this guy? No one but Someya could talk this much shit to Kanou without fear, yet he looked as angelic as Ayase did. "Why the fuck do you care anyway?" Kanou growled, "You don't even know what you're talking about."

Skyler shifted his playful look from Homare, to glare angrily at Kanou. "You're right, I don't," the blond replied, "I barely met Ayase yesterday. But you know what I do know? The moment you sauntered in, acting like god all-fucking-mighty, he practically burst into tears while Someya looked about ready to kill someone. Yesterday, he looked like he got run over by a train and then this morning, looked even worse. Yet still, he tries to smile and tell everyone that hes perfectly all right. He barely knows me and offered to cook me fucking dinner. Who the hell acts like that?"

"No one." Kanou agreed quietly, a memory of Ayase's smile flashing in his mind.

"You're right, no one else. But do you know what I see in front of me at this moment? A spoiled brat who's favorite toy has been taken away. So you're right, I don't know what the hell is going on. But as long as he's crying and your throwing a fit, I'll stand by my judgment that I don't like you."

"I'm trying to fix this damn it!" Kanou shouted, "I'm trying to talk to him, why else would I be in a place like this!"

"Trying huh? This is you trying? I think this you throwing your weight around to prove you still have balls. If you want to be a man, the go talk to him."

"But... does he want to talk to me?"

Skyler sighed, leaning back against the seat and crossing his arms. The yelling and the force never got to him, but the almost pathetic look on Kanou's face was enough to make him feel a little bit sorry for the man. "At this point? Not at all. But I think that's due to your approach."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, pissing of Someya was pretty bad. I mean, she sent me out here after all."

"Someya betrayed me." Kanou shot back.

"Well, whatever, that's not my business, but Ayase trusts her. And she wanted me to tell you that you can apologize by buying her a new tea set for the one you busted or a new kimono. She wants a purple one."

Kanou rolled his eyes. "What should I do now at least? I need to speak to him."

Skyler stood and smoothed down his skirt. "Then go talk to him, there is no one that could really stop you. And if he sends you away, the come back tomorrow. Persistence pays off you know."

"Why are you helping me?"

Skyler shrugged. "Because Someya asked me too, and she is the boss after all. Plus Ayase is my friend now, and friends help each other."

Kanou nodded, still not really sure he could trust the blond, but at least listening to his words wouldn't hurt.

"I will say this though," Skyler added as he pulled out a compact to reapply his lip gloss, "Don't make this all about you."

"Its never been all about me." Kanou defended, "I've only ever cared about Ayase."

"Sure you care, but hes a small guy and you well," Skyler smirked as he looked Kanou up and down, "you're pretty big. Its easy for you to over shadow him. He may be small, but that doesn't make him weak, trust me. If he agrees to talk to you, I suggest you don't say a word."

"How the hell does that work?"

"Just listen to what he has to say. Let him lead and do what he wants to do. Why don't you just follow for once?"

With a tired sigh, Skyler shut the mirror and tucked it and the gloss into his skirt pocket. "That's why I hate dating big men, they're such barbarians."

He tossed Homare a sultry look, as he walked away towards the back rooms "Though you are pretty cute Mr. Silent. I could make an exception."

Kanou paused for only a moment before following after the blond. Skyler was right, he needed to be a man and face Ayase without playing games. He just hoped he knew how.

In the back room, Ayase was sitting with Someya as the two talked quietly. All conversation ceased as Skyler, Kanou, and Homare walked through the door. Someya stood, placing herself defensively in front of Ayase as the younger man flinched, a new wave of tears ready to spill from his eyes. Skyler raised his hands in a 'we come in peace' gesture. "He wants to talk to Aya-chan." he shot the bigger man a look, "In a civil way. I told him what you wanted me too and I think hes okay to try."

Ayase looked at Skyler, who gave the tearful blond an encouraging smile. Ayase was almost afraid to look at Kanou, but knew that he had to. Wiping away his tears, he met Kanou's gaze, hating how he could never really be sure what exactly the bigger man was feeling. Eyes may be the window to the soul, but Kanou seemed to have his windows boarded shut. "W-what do you want Kanou-san?" Ayase asked.

Kanou had to keep from flinching at the formal way his angel used his name, as if they where strangers. "To talk. Just to talk I swear."

"Well... I don't want to talk to you."

Kanou hesitated, an argument on the tip of his tongue. He glanced over at Skyler who stood off to one side of the room, and remembered what the younger man had said. He then trained his gaze on Someya, who looked like a mama bear protecting her cub. "Fine. I'll try tomorrow." he said, voice a strained monotone as he turned to leave.

He was just thinking how Skyler was wrong and how he'd probably have to kill the irritating cross-dresser, when he heard Ayase call him back. "Wait! Kanou, just wait a second!"

Kanou paused, turning back wordlessly. "You just...want to talk?" Ayase asked.

"Yes." '_Anything to try and get you back.'_

Unsure, the blond turned to Someya, who smiled in support. "Don't look at me honey, its all up to you what you want."

Ayase took a deep breath, and turned back to Kanou with what he hoped was his best tough look. "All right, I'll go with you. But I will leave when I want to."

"Of course."

"A-and... this doesn't change anything..."

Kanou winced, but nodded.

Ayase then smiled, and Kanou's heart skipped a beat. He had missed that smile, and after not seeing it for three days, it was almost enough to bring him to his knees. He felt his resolve slipping ever so slightly, but Ayase had turned away and taking with him, his smile.

Ayase turned to gather his things, giving Skyler a guilty look. "Sorry, but I guess I won't be able to walk with you after work."

Skyler smiled and gave him a wink. "Don't worry about it. It won't be the first time I've had to brave the streets at night."

"Homare could take you home." Kanou suggested, knowing he should at least do something for the younger blond after his help. And probably should buy Someya that tea set _and_ the purple kimono she wanted.

"Really?" Ayase asked, "Thank you Kanou, that would be great."

"Yeah," Skyler agreed quietly, smiling at Homare who, for a moment, looked shocked, before carefully settling back into his usual emotionless state, "That's just wonderful."

Kanou felt as if a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders as he extended his hands to Ayase, and without hesitation the younger male slipped his small hand into his. Things where far from being fixed, but at least for a moment, he felt as if they where taking steps into the right direction. As long as he had a chance to be with Ayase, Kanou would fight.

* * *

_**A/N:**__ Wow! Finally a chapter that didn't end in something completely depressing! See? I made good on my promise that I would deliver another chapter by the end of the week! And I hope everyone likes it. Everyone guessed right when they said Skyler was the blond Someya was talking about. I hope no one is too put off by Skyler. I promise this is kind of really the only time he directly deals with Kanou and Ayase's relationship._

_This chapter ended up not being as funny as I wanted it to be, but I do like how Skyler isn't easily intimidated by Kanou. That's why I love Someya too, she takes no shit!_

_On a side note, a friend of mine calculated it out and said that, without interest, Kanou and Ayase would have to have sex 25 times a day for him to be able to pay off his debt in three years. While I don't think this is correct because I think I gave him the wrong numbers, its a scary thought nonetheless. Poor Ayase..._

_The song for this chapter was 'Confidence (For You I Will)' by Teddy Gieger. I think it fits since both Kanou and Ayase need to find their confidence. _

_Until next chappy! Zomg thats when they go out on a *dun dun dun* DATE!_

_**Review Replies!**__ YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU ALL! Even if I don't mention you, know that your reviews are what make my life worth living! Help your local writers and please review people!_

_**A Dangerous Notion:**__ Yeah, one reason I took some time off was to rethink how I wanted Kanou to act. I find it weird since I feel like I identify with Kanou more, but seem to be able to get into Ayase's mind easier. O_O Anyway, I hope I can continue to make Kanou more in character._

_Skyler is actually blond. In my head I picture him looking like Ayase, but instead he has more of a sun kissed complexion and golden blond hair instead of Ayase's porcelain skin and white blond hair. And his eyes are a darker shade of blue. I'm trying to get my friend Riny to draw me a picture that I can link for the fans but so far, no dice since she's super busy._

_Skyler is the yin to Ayase's yang (or vice versa) but more of in attitude and lifestyle then looks. He's what would have happened to Ayase (in my opinion) had Kanou never been there. But you'll learn about that soon enough! ;)_

_**NowakiStar:**__ Zomg I love Linkin Park! Maybe I could use that song for a later chapter, I shall have to see. If not I should break out my CD's and review them. I keep looking for music to put at the start of each chapter and its harder then you would think!_

_I'm glad that you think Kanou is in character. He's proving to be the most difficult to deal with! And I'm glad everyone is not writing off Skyler right of the back. Hes a good character, I promise!_

_**Splitmercury:**__ Yeah, I'm actually re-reading and watching Okane Ga Nai and it makes me smile every time he speaks up and says his opinion. I figure he's got four years of suppressed feelings so he's got to let it out somehow! Thanks for reading!_


	9. Wanted and Unwanted Things

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ Okay, so now is the time we get a little serious. I am a little upset that the last chapter wasn't exactly what I wanted, but sometimes you have to let the story work you, not you work the story. But yeah, now its time to get down the business! Yeah! Are you ready? :D_

_This wonderful chapter is dedicated to A Dangerous Notion. My pride may be beaten to a bloody pulp, but you made this chapter into the wonderful thing that it is! Hopefully you can out up with me and stick around for when I start to cry over chapter eleven!_

* * *

_"You say I only hear what I want to: I don't listen hard,_  
_I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running, to anyone, anywhere_  
_I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative "no, no, no"_

_So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,_  
_And this woman was singing my song,_  
_The lover's in love, and the others run away,_  
_The lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay._

_Some of us hover when we weep for the other_  
_Who was dying since the day they were born_  
_Well, this is not that,_  
_I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown..."_

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Wanted and Unwanted Things**

Kanou hadn't felt this uncertain since the first time he had brought Ayase home. It was like coming full circle, doing everything in his power to get to this point in time, when he would be able to touch what he had been craving for so long. Things weren't the same though, he had to remember that. When had Ayase grown up? When had he stopped really seeing the person that Ayase truly was? Someone with a voice and ideas. It had always amazed Kanou when at the most surprising times Ayase would say something deep and profound. When had he stopped noticing such things?

Whoever Ayase had become, the young man that now walked next to him, it might as well have been a stranger. It was still his Ayase, the same perfection and sweetness that he remembered. Yet, he knew that this time something had to change. He only hoped that it wasn't too late to figure out what it was. "There's a place nearby we can stop at to eat. You must be hungry."

He felt Ayase stiffen next to him, and his small hand slip from his grasp. "That's fine." he answered quietly.

Kanou knew he did something wrong, but for the life of him could not figure out what. How could he fix it this time? Once before he had gone out of order with how to handle Ayase, but he knew he could not afford to make the same mistake twice. He racked his brain for what Someya would say on how to deal with this. "Or if there was some place you would like to go, we could do that."

Ayase paused to look up at the older man in surprise. "We could? You mean it?"

"Yes." Kanou agreed, ecstatic that he could please Ayase.

"Well okay," Ayase said, once more taking his hand and leading the way down the street, "I heard of this place from one of the shop girls and she said it was really nice. It's not too far and I've been wanting to try it..."

Kanou was content to just hear Ayase's voice as he rambled on. Was this all he wanted? He remembered Skyler saying something about letting Ayase lead once in awhile. Kanou could do that from time to time. _'Maybe this wasn't as bad as I thought it was...'_

They stopped outside a small restaurant and were quickly seated inside. Ayase giggled as Kanou squeezed into the small booth seat across from him. Despite the cramped seating arrangement, Kanou felt his spirit soar at the sound. Laughter was good, it meant that the blond was at least somewhat comfortable with him. Yet as soon as they ordered, an uncomfortable silence settled between them. Ayase bit his lip worriedly as Kanou pinned him with a serious gaze. "Why did you go Ayase?" he asked suddenly.

The blond looked down at the table, nervously twisting his napkin in his hands. Kanou waited patiently for his response, knowing that everything came down to what the blond said. "Kanou... I want to know, when you bought-" Ayase paused to clear the sudden lump in his throat, "when you took me to your house three years ago, why didn't you just let me go?"

Kanou frown, a little uncertain on what would be the best way to answer. "I just thought... that keeping you would be simpler. You didn't remember me at all and I-"

"That's another thing," Ayase interrupted then immediately blushed at Kanou's glower. Kanou did not like to be interrupted. Ayase flashed a small apologetic smile and continued. "You say we met before but you never told me when. For the life of me I can't remember and I want to know..."

Kanou shook his head. Their first meeting was something that changed his whole life, and he wanted it to be as equally memorable for Ayase. "That's something I want you to remember on your own."

Ayase sighed, knowing that if he tried to argue he would only lose. "Fine, it's not that important anyway. Just tell me... why keep me with you all this time?"

"Why did you leave me?" Kanou asked, ignoring Ayase's question, "I need to know what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong I just... I wasn't happy."

"What can I do to make you happy?" Kanou, feeling both frustrated and irritated with the lack of answers he was receiving.

"I...I don't know. It's nothing you did it's just... when I'm with you I don't even know who I am."

"Ayase I-"

Kanou was interrupted as the waitress brought their order. Ayase smiled in thanks but she scurried away quickly when Kanou shot her an icy glare. Ayase just sighed with a small shake of his head, thinking how some things never changed. Silence settled over the table, the younger male feeling uncomfortable under Kanou's intense gaze. "Ayase, was it that terrible staying with me?"

The blond set down his chopsticks. "No, it wasn't all terrible."

"Then why didn't you stay?"

"Because I didn't like who I was with you. I wasn't... I wasn't me when I was with you. You stole me right from my life, I didn't have time to figure out what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do."

"You didn't have to. I would have been able to-"

"That doesn't matter!" Ayase shouted, slamming his hands against the table. "It wasn't you decision to make, it was mine!

He gasped as the room became silent, Kanou as well as the other dinner patrons looking at him in surprise. He blushed as he stood, embarrassment making him want to run. Tears filled his eyes as he bolted for the door, needing air to clear his head. Kanou threw some money on the table, knowing it would be more than enough to pay for their half eaten meal, before he was chasing after the distraught blond. His long stride allowed him to catch up pretty quickly. Grabbing Ayase's arm, he spun him around to face him. Ayase collapsed against him, sobbing as he clung to the older man. "I d-don't know w-what's wrong with m-me!" he wailed, burying his tear stained face against Kanou's chest.

"There's nothing wrong with you." Kanou assured, crushing the blond to him in case he should try to run again.

"You just make me so mad and I-I... I just don't know what to do with you..."

Ayase knew he would probably regret allowing himself to be pulled into Kanou's arms, but he needed that comfort, no matter how short lived it would be. "Just come home with me Ayase." Kanou tried to coax, "We can work this out."

The blond stilled, taking a deep breath to try and regain his composer. He pushed Kanou away. "I can't go home with you, I just can't do it."

"We have to talk about this Ayase."

The younger male shook his head, taking a step back. "Not tonight. I can't do this now I just... I want to go home."

Kanou wanted to push, to drag Ayase away and demand answers. Pausing for a moment, he leashed his demanding nature to really assess the blond. He looked tired, more tired than he had ever seen him; and his eyes lacked the usual brightness that Kanou adored. Even if he did drag Ayase back, what kind of person would he be taking back with him? Kanou was really beginning to wonder if he ever even knew the blond at all.

"Let me go home Kanou." the blond pleaded, taking another tentative step back.

Every step away cut Ayase deeply, and he prayed that such pain didn't show. He didn't want to leave the shelter that Kanou offered, the safety and warmth that the older man promised. It would be so easy to give in, but that's why it was so important for him to walk away.

"At least let me walk you home." Kanou offered quickly.

Too tired to argue, Ayase nodded meekly and allowed himself to be lead away.

"-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-"

Homare sat in front of the okama shop, long after the images of Ayase and Kanou disappeared from his rear-view mirror. His thoughts were given free reign in his mind. All of his regrets, his mixed up; running endless circles until he thought he might just snap. He wasn't foolish enough to believe himself in love with Ayase, but maybe more of the idea of him. To have someone perfect, untouched by hate or greed. If Kanou was able to have such peace, then didn't he deserve it as well?

A knock on his window broke him away from his tormented musings. Looking up, he saw none other then the spitfire cross-dresser Skyler. The blond gave him a small smile and a little wave. Homare sat and stared at him for a moment, still a little lost in his own mind. It was eerie how similar the cross-dresser was to Ayase. The almost inhuman beauty they both possessed, and the same aura of vulnerability. But where there was honesty in the brightness of Ayase's eye, and all Skyler's held was a carefully guarded darkness. Yes, the boy was beautiful, even if a bit odd, but there was an air of falseness about him.

"You don't seem the type to prance around in dresses, but let me tell you, I'm freezing my ass off in this skirt." the blond said suddenly, raising an elegant blond brow as if to say _'Are you gonna let me in or stare at me all night?'_

Homare shook his head to clear his thoughts. Now wasn't the time to be brooding. He'd give the young man a ride home, then return the to the office. Maybe getting lost in his work for a few hours would enable him to put this whole night behind him. He didn't want to think about Ayase or Kanou. He didn't want to think at all.

"Wow, and they told me chivalry was dead." Skyler teased when Homare opened the back door for him. The Kuba twin didn't reply.

The blond rolled his eyes at failing to get the older man to speak, and climbed inside. "Holy shit! This car is huge!" he exclaimed suddenly as Homare slipped back into the drivers seat, "I've had apartments smaller then this!"

Homare remembered Ayase making a similar observation once, though much quieter and with less foul language. He glanced into the back seat, startled to find his eyes connecting with Skyler's before hastily looking away. He didn't know why he felt so jumpy, but he didn't like. "Ah, so you do have a different setting other then 'emotionless bastard'."

Homare declined to comment, reminding himself that the blond would be out of the car, and out of his hair, in a short while. "Where do you live?"

"Kabuki-cho district please," Skyler replied, resting his hand on Homare's shoulder as he leaned forward in the seat, much to the older man's discomfort. "The Juu Building."

"It would be safest for you to remain in you seat." Homare said quietly.

Skyler smirked. "I'm sure you know more pit maneuvers then a whole police force. I have no doubt in my mind that I'm safe in your hands."

The Kuba gave his usual replay, which would be to say nothing at all. He heard Skyler give an undignified snort of frustration, before leaning back in the seat. Homare released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He didn't like when people touched him, not even his own twin brother Misao. He didn't know why, but it was something that always bothered him. He wasn't flashy like Skyler, Someya, or any of the other okama's. He didn't like getting to know others like Ayase. He preferred to stand in the background, keeping his life and the company running smoothly.

Unlike Skyler, who could only stand the brooding silence for so long, before he was once more leaning forward in his seat to try and engage the stoic bodyguard into some form of a decent conversation. "So, how long have you known Ayase-kun?"

"Awhile."

Skyler rolled his eyes at such a vague answer, but figured it was at least something to work with. "I only met him yesterday but he's really nice. Weird that he's with that gloomy he-man Kanou, but that's totally not my business..."

Skyler waited for some type of reply but of course, received nothing. Not one to be ignored, he narrowed his dark blue eyes and then promptly punched Homare in the arm. Not injured, but very much surprised, the Kuba twin broke his usual apathetic attitude to level the annoyed blond his best glare. "What do you think you are doing?"

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you not human or something?"

Homare frowned, trying to understand the fuming blond. "What?"

"Hey, if it wouldn't be to much trouble, why don't you take whatever pole you have shoved up your ass out and try and have a normal conversation for once your damn life!"

Homare exhaled through the tension he suddenly felt, resisting the urge to snap at the blond. Who the hell did he think he was? Skyler didn't even know him. "Why would you want to have a conversation with me in the first place?"

Skyler crossed his arms. "Well why not? Would talking be so bad?"

Quite possibly, but Homare wasn't about to comment on that. Skyler cast his eyes heavenward as if to say _'why me?'. _"You really are a weird guy Kuba-san. Let me guess, your one of those 'mindless muscle' types."

Homare's grip tightened on the steering wheel, knowing he shouldn't be encouraging the blond to talk, but needing to reply. His pride was taking to many blows not to. "Whats that supposed to mean?"

Skyler smirked. " You know, the ones that could snap me in half, but don't have two brain cells to rub together. All you do is wait for the next order from your master and you never think for yourself."

Homare came to a sudden halt outside of Skyler's apartment building, feeling a mixture of rage and confusion over the blonds off-handed comments. He couldn't believe the younger male had the audacity to insult him when he had only just met him!

The blond exited the vehicle, not at all perturbed by the Kuba twin's sudden lack of politeness. Skyler knew he deserved the hostility, and a small part of him even welcomed it. He had seen Homare's types before, and they always where so interesting to know. The young man had found that usually the ones that seemed the quietest, where the ones with the most passion. It might not be very nice of him to tease the older man, but it was definitely something he found he liked to do.

Skyler leaned into the open driver's window, pressing a kiss to Homare's cheek and giving the surprised man a sweet smile. "Thanks for the ride home. It was really nice to meet you."

Any malice Homare might have felt seemed to melt as Skyler's sweet honeysuckle scent enveloped him. He was shocked by the warmth flooding his body, and the knowing smirk on the blonds face. "You know, your probably not as bad as you seem to be Kuba-san. If you want, your more then welcome to come to my place for a bit."

That comment was enough to snap Homare back to realty. There was no way that he would go up to Skyler's apartment! "I do not think that would be very appropriate." he murmured quietly, "I need to get-"

"Back to the office? Yeah I figured you'd say that."

Homare bristled at the younger male's know-it-all tone. "Come on," Skyler urged, "Can you not be a neanderthal for one night?"

The Kuba twin knew what kind of game the blond was playing. If he declined, then Skyler would think he was right in his assumption, and that was something Homare could not stand for. On the other hand, was he really going to risk staying with the blond, just to save his own pride?

"Well," Skyler asked, a sly look in his eyes, "What's it going to be?"

* * *

_**A/N:**__ So, I hope everyone was happy with this chapter! I really worked my ass off and even sought out extra help for it! Seriously, A Dangerous Notion is an angel sent from heaven for putting up with me!_

_FYI, I posted an Okane Ga Nai one-shot titled 'Cemetery'! Check it out and drop a review!_

_Anyway, song used for this chapter is 'Stay' by Lisa Loeb. In my opinion it is the best song to fit this story. THE BEST! And I'm going to use another part of the song for another chapter too, but you'll have to wait for that._

_**Review Replies!**__ REVIEWS ARE LOVE! SO SPREAD THE LOVE! Even if I don't mention you, know that your are a bright little star in my usually dark and bleak life! *emo pose*_

_**AufCat:**__ Ha ha ha! I am in no way a math wiz, so thanks for the somewhat scary tid-bit of information. My ass hurts in sympathy pain for Ayase. Thanks for your support!_

_**NowakiStar:**__ No! Torture the iPod until it works! And thanks for saying you like Skyler. I'm always unsure about the OC. Hopefully yours feelings will be shared with the rest of the readers._

_**Onige-a:**__ Thanks for reading! Your wonderful! :D_

_**the-bunnys-echo:**__ Welcome to the fandom of Okane Ga Nai! Enjoy the wild ride! And thanks for saying you like the fanfic. Angst and humor is what I'm best at!_

_**PixiFrog:**__ Aw, you make me blush! Thank you so much. I might not always get the characters right, but I strive hard to get the flow of the story down. I hate reading grammatical headaches, so I never want to cause one!_

_**lelalemon: **__Ha ha ha! I think you have a too nice of an image of me. I actually have surprised myself that I can crank out chapters so quickly! Hopefully I won't disappoint everyone too badly! Zomg, I actually did see this pretty purple kimono with these silver fish on it! It was so pretty!_

_Anyway, thanks for the lovely review!_

_**NorthernTrash-x:**__ Well, lets all pray I can keep updating frequently. Thanks for the support and for reading! _


	10. If I Close My Eyes, It's All The Same

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** I am so so so SORRY for such a late update. But you do not know how much I STRUGGLED with this chapter! It was torture I tell you! TORTURE! But I did it all for you my dearest fans! Please read and review! And I'm taking a moment to be shameless and tell you all to read my Okane Ga Nai one-shot 'Cemetery'. Read it and review! I demand it!_

_**WARNING:** MAN-SEX AHEAD! Pretty much just man-sex..._

* * *

"_Once I made a promise that I'd never lead you on,_

_But I feel the yearn to love you even though I know it's wrong_

_You'll have to take my hand and lead me slowly through the door,_

_I'll be wrong in what I'm doing, but I can't refuse you anymore_

_Lead me on and take control of how I feel,_

_I can't do this on my own, 'cause it's against my will_

_I need love warm and tender in a way I've never known,_

_If you want me I'll go with you but you'll have to lead me on..."_

* * *

**Chapter Ten: If I Close My Eyes, Its All The Same**

By the time the apartment came into view, Ayase had more or less calmed himself. It was hard to be distraught when he was pressed intimately next to Kanou. Confused would be more like it. He had missed the feeling of warmth the older male used to bring him. The world was a much less scary place when Kanou stood beside him, protecting him from all the things out to hurt him. Ayase liked to think he was strong enough to hold his own, but there was no doubt that Kanou's presence was reassuring. Funny really, how the one person that caused him the most grief, seemed to be the only thing that gave him peace of mind.

The stairs leading up to his door loomed ahead, but Kanou found a little comfort in the fact that Ayase pressed closer against him. He didn't like that fact that he would soon be parting with Ayase, much less the dreadful place he was leaving him. But he had given his promise, and when it came to the blond, his word would be something he kept. Even if he loathed the idea with everything he had.

Ayase was surprised that what once had seemed like a safe haven for him, now flooded his veins with panic. The door was a reminder that soon, they'd have to part ways. Even if it was the right thing to do, it didn't mean that it hurt any less. He stole a peek up at Kanou in hopes to see if he was feeling something similar. Of course though, there was no emotion that flickered across that strong profile. Ayase looked away in uncertainty. He would give anything to know what was going through the older males head. There must be some type of true affection somewhere deep inside, he was here after all. Yet, if that was true, then why had he done the things he did?

Kanou took a step away, gritting his teeth as he did. He shoved his hands in his pockets to prevent himself from reaching out to crush the young male to him. '_This better be worth it Someya...'_ he growled silently.

Ayase dug the keys out of his pocket, fiddling with them before unlocking the door. Taking a deep breath, he pushed it open, before turning to face the taller man. He could feel Kanou's intense gaze on him, and it made him tremble slightly. "Will I... see you tomorrow?" he asked quietly.

"Is that what you want?" Kanou asked, silky voice sliding over Ayase like a physical caress.

The blond hesitated, biting his bottom lip as he shyly looked at the ground. "Yes I... would like that..."

Kanou smiled, something that didn't bode well for Ayase, but was comforting all the same. He leaned in, brushing Ayase's white blond hair over his ear and sensually whispering, "Until tomorrow then."

Ayase whimpered when Kanou pulled away, mind going dizzy as the touch he craved suddenly left him. Without thinking, he called out to Kanou's retreating form. "Wait! Kanou..."

The older male paused, turning around slowly to pin the nervous blond with an intense stare. His heated eyes spoke volumes._ 'Call me in and I can't promise to hold back.'_

Such a burning stare made him pause. Was he really ready to go through with this? He knew that too much Kanou was not good for him... but it couldn't be that bad could it? Ayase took a deep, calming breath...

"Would you like to come in for tea?"

"-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-"

Ayase paced around his kitchen, waiting for the water to boil, and berating himself for ever calling Kanou back. He wasn't ashamed of that fact that he wanted the older man. Throughout their time together Kanou had brought comfort as well as pain. For every hurt, their had been a soft touch to smooth it away. Still, such adoration didn't take away from the fact that Kanou was selfish and demanding.

Then again, wasn't Ayase being selfish as well? He had invited Kanou inside, knowing full well what might happen the longer they stayed alone. He could feign innocence, claim that, 'a cup of tea meant just a cup of tea,' but somewhere along the way he had realized something: he wanted Kanou. He might not like the way the older man treated him, he might not like all the things he felt around the man, but that didn't make him stop wanting to feel those arms wrap around him tenderly. It didn't stop the shiver that trailed along his spine when he felt Kanou press him against the counter, his hands possessively gripping the blonds waist.

Ayase whimpered when those hands squeezed him gently, Kanou's tongue darting out to trace the delicate curve of his ear. Kanou was angry at him, Ayase could tell in the rough way he lifted him and set him on the counter. Kanou loved foreplay; loved to taste and tease Ayase until the smaller male was crying and begging for it to end.

There would be none of that gentle toying tonight. Ayase could taste the pent fury in the hard kiss that assaulted his mouth. Kanou's tongue plunged past his lips, demanding compliance. Tiny sounds of need sounded in the back of Ayase's throat, and it only seemed to drive Kanou even more wild. The counter was cold and hard, Ayase's head hurt from where he had bumped it against the cabinet, and his lungs burned in need of air. Yet all of that didn't matter as Kanou began to grind his hips against him, mouth trailing down to attack the sensitive flesh of Ayase's neck.

Through the rage though, Ayase could tell there was also hurt. This was Kanou's way of lashing out, of punishing the blond for the turmoil of the last few days. Ayase felt a pang of guilt, even if in the back of his mind he knew it wasn't his fault. But it wasn't like he was in any position to argue, when Kanou had him pinned to the counter. He had enough with the fighting anyway. He didn't want to think anymore, only feel.

Ayase cried out, hands clutching the fabric of Kanou's shirt, squirming when the older male pressed their groins harder against each other. He knew this was the last thing he should be doing, but he didn't want to stop. He didn't care anymore how this ended, he'd deal with the repercussions of his actions when the time came.

Kanou knew that there was something different this time. No protests left Ayase's lips, even with the savage way Kanou was treating him. He pulled at the blond's shirt, buttons popping and clattering to the floor. Ayase gasped as Kanou's mouth latched onto the bared flesh, teeth nipping to form a possessive mark. Suddenly, the blond was lifted into the older male's strong arms as he stumbled towards the bedroom, keeping their lips firmly pressed together. As his back met with the soft fabric of his small bed, Ayase grasped the last shred of sanity he possessed. "K-Kanou...wait I- mph!"

The protests where silenced with another bruising kiss, Kanou's tongue insistent on driving Ayase to the brink of madness with every tantalizing sweep and lick. Ayase knew the consequences of inviting Kanou inside, and now he would have to live with it. Strong hands skimmed down lithe hips, not quite touching their goal but teasing enough that Ayase whimpered softly. Fingers tugged at zippers and fabric until the remaining garments where tossed aside, leaving Ayase flushed in embarrassment at his nakedness.

His blush darkened at the older males hungry gaze, but didn't try to cover himself, learning long ago that Kanou was displeased by such actions. Ayase was no longer trying to fight the rush of emotions that coursed through him. All he could do was hold on tightly and hope that in the morning, he would be strong enough to deal with this. Shutting his eyes as Kanou's hands circled around his wrist to pin him down, Ayase let himself go.

His cry was wild and full of aching need as Kanou's mouth trailed down to tease one pert nipple. Ayase's back arched, tears of both uncertainty and desire filling his glazed blue eyes. Kanou's other hand tweaked the other sensitive bud, smirking triumphantly. "At least this part of you missed me..." He growled, his tongue flicking across pale flesh to earn another strangled cry.

Kanou was quick to remove his own clothing, frantic to feel soft skin sliding against his own. Three days, that's how long he had been away from _this_. Three days, each one dragging on for what felt like eternity. He wished he could have been a little more gentle when preparing Ayase, but he was mad with wanting. He _needed_ this, the taste and the sounds. The feeling of being whole. Couldn't Ayase see that? Feel it in his touch? He would fall apart without the feeling of tight heat wrapping around his throbbing cock and the sight of Ayase's face twisted in pleasure as he screamed.

Ayase found it hard to catch his breath. With Kanou moving in and out of his, his body lighting up like fireworks, he couldn't grasp onto any coherent thought. It hurt, it always did with such enormous length that Kanou possessed, and their was no lube to ease the stretching. Even with the pain, it was still so very good to have Kanou filling him. To for just a single moment be one with the man that caused him so much hurt and so much joy. To see those usually emotionalizes eyes to fill with passion.

Blunt nails scrapped down Kanou's back, Ayase holding on for dear life as the older male began to move faster. Pushing and pulling in hot jerky thrusts, one hand snaking down to stroke over Ayase's own twitching arousal. Stars erupted behind his eyes, and with a loud moan Ayase lost himself to the white hot pleasure. With a few more jerky thrusts into Ayase's tight heat, Kanou grunted quickly, hands gripping tightly to Ayase as he came.

Ayase closed his eyes, wincing slightly as Kanou pulled out and laid himself beside the blond. He didn't protest or struggle as Kanou pulled him to his chest. As his breath slowed, his eyes closed as he listened to the strong steady heart beat of the older male. His last thought before falling asleep, was that even though he shouldn't have slept with Kanou, for the first time in days he felt complete.

* * *

_**A/N:** Ahhh so glad to have this done. It was so difficult to get through this. But thanks to the lovely A Dangerous Notion for her confidence boosts and suggestions. You're amazing darling! Simply amazing! And the fans of course too! I do this for the fans! _

_Speaking of fans, I really hope you all the got the points I was trying to make. Yes, there are deeper meanings behind the sex! Mmmmm but the sex is soooo nice... ha ha ha... wow I'm a pervert..._

_Anyway, the song used for this chapter was a really old country duet with Loretta Lynn and Conway Twitty. I had another song planned for this chapter, but I was in the car with my mother when she played this song and I was like "AH! THIS SONG IS PERFECT HOLY CRAP!". Listen children, really listen. Its a wonderful thing, music is... The song I was originally going to use was "All The Same" by Sick Puppies. Listen, its a great song and was used for the title of the chapter!_

_This chapter is short, but mostly I wanted to get it out of the way. Like I said this chapter was difficult. I'm still not sure I did a good job on it... but this is about at good as it gets. Drama next chapter! This wasn't nicey nice make up sex children. ;)_

_**Review replies!** You people are beautiful! BEAUTIFUL I SAY! Even if I didn't mention you, you're still held dear to my heart!_

_**Blaculicious:** Ha ha ha! Your reviews were fantastic and a joy to read! Even though they made me feel old... Please keep reading and reviewing! :)_

_**Lina: **I really love when people tell me they love Skyler and Homare. I agonized so much over putting him in a story and I love the positive feedback. Unfortunately I don't have much more planned... but I do like to keep a few tricks up my sleeve..._

_**Medusa'sShadow:** Wow, you don't know how much that review meant to me! When you said my story would make a great sequel, I almost died in happiness! To think that someone believes my story is equal enough to be as good as the original... just thank you! _

_**PixieFrog:** Awww you said it was your favorite... that makes me so tingly inside with joy..._

_**NowakiStar: **21 years? ... Ow..._

_**Stargazer098567:** Long reviews are the best! Especially when you tell me my story is so good. It kind of makes me nervous though, and I hope I can live up to your expectations. O_O Please continue reading and reviewing! _

_**splitmercury:** Thanks so much for your support! And I'm glad you liked 'Cemetery' too!_

_**Onige-a: **Kyaaa! I get so happy when reviewers say they love Skyler! It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Please continue your support! I NEED IT!_


	11. Give and Take

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_A/N: I really have no excuse for my absence. Well, I mean, I didn't have internet connection for months and I did get a new job, but really, I was lazy and disillusioned about this fanfic. I had lost the plot and feeling for it. I apologize to all my fans, old and new, for my disappearance. So here I stand, humbly offering another chapter in hopes you will all put down your torches and pitch-forks. It's nothing special, but its another step and a promise that I will do my best to once more stick with this story to the end._

_And now, without further ado, Chapter 11 of No Money, No Love..._

_**EDIT AS OF 2-9-11:** Fanfiction . net is fucking up my page breaks. Sorry folks but they're just lines. DAMN YOU LINES!_

"_Waking up to find another day, the moon got lost again last night  
But now the sun has finally had its say, I guess I feel alright  
But it hurts when I think, when I let it sink in  
It's all over me,  
I'm lying here in the dark, I'm watching you sleep, __i__t hurts a lot..._

_And all I know is, you've got to give me everything  
Nothing less cause, you know I give you all of me..."  
_

**Chapter Eleven: Give and Take**

Ayase woke with a sense of... wrongness. It was something he wasn't used to. So much of this routine seemed familiar. Awaking to the early gray morning light, eyes falling on a still sleeping Kanou. It was something he never admitted, but he loved those moments. That someone so stern and powerful would look so at peace, just laying there in a world of his own. The soft snores and dream noises he would make, there was a sweetness there that the older male lacked in waking hours.

But this wasn't like any other morning.

Things had been said. Feelings had changed, and then changed again. He had left this man, only to return willing once more. Even after pouring over every detail and every possible outcome, he was no where closer to an explanation or a sense of understanding. He wasn't good at things like this. What was he supposed to do now?

He turned away, looking out to the small window on the other side of the room, and watched the shadows of the curtains dance across the floor in the early morning breeze. Wasn't things like this supposed to be simple? You know what you want, you dream of a life, and then you work towards making it happen. Things like kidnappings or gangsters weren't part of the equation. All he had wanted was a safe home and a family that he could love and love him in return. He had never expected to end up here, wrapped in another man's arms, the scent of sweat and sex still thick in the air and clinging to his skin.

Kanou was brash, angered easily, and left no room for augment. It was his way or the highway. He cursed, ordered others around, and even killed people. Yet... Ayase remembered his worried frown when the blond would get sick, or when he helped Someya and her girls out, even though he claimed to hate them. Kanou had pushed his way into Ayase's life, forcibly dragged him away from the things he had known, and then proceeded to wrap himself so tightly within Ayase, the blond couldn't imagine what kind of life he could have without him.

He felt Kanou stirring beside him, and he was quick to close his eyes, evening out his breathing in a desperate attempt to feign sleep. He wasn't ready to face him yet. He needed just a little more time before the inevitable happened...

He felt something brush lightly across his cheek; a tender hand or maybe a chaste kiss. Barely there for a moment, but it made Ayase ache with the familiarity of it. "Ayase..." he heard Kanou whisper, the single word holding more emotion then he thought Kanou ever capable of.

And for the first time, Ayase felt a small twist of guilt. He had to remember that he wasn't that only one involved in this. Every action had a reaction. If he ran, Kanou would chase,it was just the type of person he was. And if Ayase kept running, then nothing would ever be solved. Biting his lip as he heard the door shut softly behind Kanou, Ayase knew what he had to do...

* * *

Kanou frowned at the half empty cupboards in the kitchen. Ayase had left him for this? A run down piece of crap, hardly stocked and barely furnished? His feelings had been hurt (though even under death would he ever admit that), but now his pride was taking a hit too. Hadn't he treated Ayase right? Hadn't he provided anything the young male had ever wanted? _'Why are you doing this to me?'_

"Do you need something?"

Kanou turned, eying the blond critically. Ayase was dressed in another of his oversized sleeping shirts, begging the question of if he was wearing _anything else_ underneath. Kanou swallowed thickly and shook his head. "You have hardly anything to eat here. How can you manage alone?"

Ayase blushed in embarrassment, feeling a sting to his pride at the man's condescending tone. Things might not be nice but he felt he was doing fine for the most part. "I haven't been shopping yet." he said defensively.

"It doesn't matter anyway." Kanou replied with a dismissive wave of his hand, "We'll be at home soon enough."

Ayase paused, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. Here it was, the start of the fight he knew he couldn't avoid. "Kanou... I'm not going with you..."

For a moment, it seemed the room dropped to a frigid temperature as Kanou stiffened, pinning Ayase with an angered gaze. But he didn't say anything, just continued to stare him down. The blond found that worse then the yelling. With anger, he could at least somewhat know what Kanou was feeling. The cold indifference... it was the same look he held a gun.

"Why?" he finally asked, voice soft and void of emotion.

Ayase's eyes fell to the floor, fingers nervously twisting the hem of his shirt. "I... I want to be here Kanou. I d-don't want to go back..."

"Why?" he asked again.

Ayase frowned. "I don't understand..."

Suddenly, he was pushed up against the kitchen wall, Kanou looming above him, large hands pinning him against the unyielding wall. Ayase yelped in surprise and pain as his head connected painfully with the wall behind him. "Kanou! What...?"

"Tell me why. What the _fuck_ did I do so wrong?"

"K-Kanou stop! You're scaring me!"

"Answer me!" he hissed, slamming his hands against the wall right next to Ayase's head.

The blond flinched, whimpering in fear. He'd had Kanou angry at him before, but this was different. It was frighting, even as it left this heart shredded. "It's not y-you," he chocked out, the tears suddenly filling his eyes falling fast down his pale cheeks. "It's me. It's a-all me."

Kanou backed off a little, surprised at such an admission. "What?"

"I just can't d-do this anymore!" the blond sobbed, collapsing onto the floor, his head cradled in his hands, "I can't be the person you w-want me to be! I don't even know who I am! Why can't you see that? What else do you want from me?"

"Ayase..." Kanou whispered, reaching out to touch the younger male.

The blond flinched back, crying harder. "D-don't... just don't please..." he begged, " I can't do this anymore..."

If Ayase had looked, he would've have seen the pained expression on the older male. The flicker of regret and guilt in his dark eyes as backed away and left. But he didn't see those things. Instead, he sat there and wept. Even after his knees began to ache and it was hard to breath, he sat on the kitchen floor and cried. The real hard part for though, was that he really wasn't sure why.

* * *

Standing on the stairs outside of Ayase's apartment, Kanou sighed tiredly as the blond's sobs echoed in his thoughts. That wasn't the answer he was expecting. Maybe something about being a bully, or maybe something about the sex. It wasn't anything new for him. He could change.. or at least try to.. or at least promise. Anything at all.

Turning away, he pulled out his phone, dialing for Homare...

...only to receive no answer.

He glared at the device. His employee _always_ answered the phone. Not wanting to waste too much time dwelling on Homare's sudden absence, he instead called Misao. "Yes sir?" he answered on the first ring.

"Meet me at that damn Okama's in ten." he replied, before snapping the phone shut.

As he did so, it immediately went off in his hands. "What?" he snapped.

"_I'm apologize for not answering sir. Did you have need of me?"_

Kanou growled. "Homare, where are you?"

For a just a second, he thought he heard a soft voice followed by an amused chuckle in the background before Homare quickly replied with, _"Nowhere important sir."_

As as he wanted to, Kanou didn't press the issue. He had bigger issues then what his bodyguards where getting up to on their off hours. "Meet me at the Okama's shop. Now."

"_Yes sir. I'm on my way."_

Once again, he thought he heard a voice whisper _'leaving so soon?'_, but left it up to his irritation playing ticks on him as he hung up and made his way to Someya's.

* * *

_A/N: I feel a little bad that nothing really happens in this chapter. I mean, its my big come back chapter and... well... nada..._

_But, be happy the next chapter is already pretty much finished and about to be posted. I'm doing my hardest to try to stay with it, despite reality trying to keep me away!_

_A quick apology and note to A Dangerous Notion. I know you are supposedly the resident beta for NMNL, but after much consideration instead of sending it to you first, I went with what I had rewritten and posted it up. I didn't want to make everyone wait any longer. Seeing as how you read the first version, I hope this one much better to your liking. (I went with less crack and whining, and tried to be a bit more... mature... not sure if it worked though...)_

_Oh, and I've decided that my 100th reviewer will receive a special smut-tastical story of their choosing. Yeah, I'm one of those types of writers..._

_Until next time chicklets!_

_**Review Replies!** These ones mean the most, since these are the ones that have stayed even through my long absence! YOU'RE THE BEST FANS A FANFIC WRITER COULD ASK FOR!_

_**Taihza:** Aw, thanks for the adoration. It's my anti-drug!_

_**Minnoru's Bookmark: **I'm glad you think this is so well-written. I have so many issues with this story and regrets, so it's nice to think someone thinks I'm doing something right!_

_**Dragon Lord09:** Welcome to the wonderful world of Okane Ga Nai! I'm happy to welcome you!_

_**Kitty in the Box:** Ha ha ha! I loved your review. So many questions! I hope I answered most of them. Keep reading and reviewing! Oh, and even though I'm late, can I still get that Ayase cherry? :D_

_**SeverusPotterSnape:** I'm sorry for the delayed update. Can you forgive me? D:_

_**Percygranger:** Ahhhh I just love smart comments. They're like ice cream! Thanks for pointing out the grammar. Sometimes it's like English isn't my first language..._

_I think a lot of it too, is that rather then through emotion or talking, Kanou expresses himself through action (a.k.a sex). He does LOVE Ayase, in a weird, twisted sort of way. And he expresses it through sex._

_Whatever happened to chocolates and flowers, neh?_

_**Tankyasue:** I cried a little. Your review meant so much to me! I'm happy that everyone is happy and it makes me strive to work harder!_

_As for Skyler and Homare... well, we'll have to see now won't we? *evil grin* I threw a bone about them a little bit in this chapter, but I really don't want to include Skyler too much. This story is Ayase's and Kanou's._

_That isn't to say though, that I don't have a few tricks up my sleeve..._

_**Onige-a: **As long as I breath, the stories will never stop! Thanks for your review! You've been with me from the beginning and I always love your feedback!_

_**A Dangerous Notion:** Last chapter wouldn't have made it without you. This chapter would've been so much better had I not FAILED COMEPLETLY. Next chapter, neh?_

_Honorable mention to Sasu-Sama' Sarukji-Sempai, Radcat38, Splitmercury, Seiyalovesdango09, NowakiStar, Anastasiyafokina, FruitCat, and See1like. Thanks guys!_


	12. Fight or Flight

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

A/N: By the way, I don't know WHAT THE FUCK is wrong with Fanfiction . net, but it's fucking up my page breaks. So, sorry folks. Enjoy chapter 12!

"_I fear what they'd do if they finally catch me_

_I fear they'd take my home, if they find I roam, find I'm free_

_They want you to think it's possible to live a life without chains,_

_But it you, if you go to far, you'll fine they're pulling on your reins..."_

**Chapter 12: Fight or Flight Response**

Someya did her best not to dance in victory as Kanou silently walked into her office and sat down across from her. The Kuba twins followed behind, Misao setting two packages on her desk. Smiling, she opened the smaller one first, reveling a brand new tea set, a lovely piece of white porcelain etched with silver and multi-colored butterflies. The second box contained a beautiful, and expensive, royal purple kimono stitched with silvery winged birds in flight."Oh, Dana, you shouldn't have,"

Kanou continued to glare. The Okama rolled her eyes, fingers brushing lovingly against the silk of her new kimono. "Your apology is accepted." she said with a wink, "Though this in no means buys my loyalty."

"I'm not trying to buy your loyalty Okama." the male hissed between clenched teeth.

"You know what you need Dana? A vacation. I know I love little bath house in the country-"

"Shut the hell up Someya!" Kanou barked, hands clenched at his sides, lest he lean over and hit the woman.

"Tsk, tsk, I was only trying to help."

"If you want to help, then damn it help!"

"And your not saying I haven't all ready?" Someya shot back, truly angry. "You think I enjoy watching this? Watching Ayase-kun run into my room crying or you throwing your tantrums and scaring my workers?"

Kanou only growled in response.

"Oh stuff it." Someya snapped, "You can't see past your own selfishness Kanou. I could have easily just let Ayase run off his own. Regardless of my help, he would have left you. But I stuck my hand in and helped him, just to make sure he was safe."

"Fuck you Okama!" Kanou yelled, "You don't know if he would have left me! If you weren't sitting there, putting ideas in his head-"

"I assure you this was not my doing. Ayase wanted to leave. This was his decision from the start."

Kanou looked away, expression stony, though Someya was unsure if it was due to her words or from his own frustration. "There is a lot more to him then you think, you know." she said softly.

"You think I don't know that?" he snapped, "You think I don't see that now? He was mine for three years, but it feels like I don't even know him! Why didn't he just talk to me damn it? Why won't he just let me take care of him?"

"Would you have listened?"

"Of course." Kanou replied without hesitation.

Someya sighed, one manicured hand rubbing the headache slowly building in her temples. " I do believe I need some tea..." she mumbled crossly.

It was going to be a long afternoon...

* * *

Ayase wasn't sure how long he stayed on the kitchen floor. The sobbing had stopped, though the tears continued to flow freely down his cheeks. It felt like they never would cease. He was sick of it. He cried so much in his life, over the most simplistic of things. Would he ever be strong enough? Would he forever be ruled by outside forces?

A knock on his door jarred him from his thoughts. He didn't know why, or how, but he was suddenly rushing to the door, apologies falling from his lips. "Kanou-san I'm so-"

He stopped at the sight of a very shocked Skyler, hand raised in mid-knock. The younger blond let it fall to his side, teeth nibbling his bottom lip in worry at Ayase's miserable state. "Um...hi..." he said uncertainly.

Ayase stood there, blinking his eyes, though seemingly unseeing of the blond in front of him. He said nothing, was unable to say anything. He just wanted to see Kanou there, an angry look on his face. He wanted to apologize, say he was wrong, until that anger melted away into something softer and Ayase didn't have to worry about anything anymore.

The tears started to fall once more. He wondered, almost hysterically, if he would ever run out. What happened to people who no longer cried?

Suddenly two thin arms wrapped themselves around him, and whispered soothing nonsense into his hair. "It will be all right..." Skyler promised, "You'll be fine, everything will be fine."

He didn't know why, but he believed Skyler. Maybe it was his voice, sounding broken, but sure. Maybe it was the look in his eyes. As if he had walked down the same paths that Ayase was currently taking, and knew that there would be light at the end.

"Come on." he said gently, standing and offering Ayase a hand, "Go get dressed. I think I know exactly what you need."

Ayase followed behind a determined Skyler, eyes wary as they darted around. He had never been on this side of town before. Then again, he was rarely allowed to wander by himself, but he heard stories about these places. "Um... Skyler-kun? Where are we going?" he asked hesitantly as he struggled to keep up with the blond.

The younger male suddenly stopped in the middle of the street, turning on his heel to pin Ayase with a fiery glare. "You know what your problem is Aya-chan? You have no balls."

Ayase's mouth dropped open, a blush staining his cheeks at the cross-dressers crude language. "W-what are you talking about?"

Skyler let out a frustrated growl, turning back around and resuming his half-drag, half-walk with the other blond, ranting the whole time. "We may be shorter, we may not be strong, but that doesn't make us lesser men damn it!"

"S-Skyler-kun, slow down!"

"So what if you like to clean! So what if I like to prance around in a skirt! That doesn't give them the right to push us around! Just because they 'know whats best' for us?"

Still ranting, he dragged the flustered and embarrassed blond through the doorway of a small little studio. An taller male with dirty blond hair looked at them with confusion, before smiling in recognition. "Ah, Skyler, rambling on about feminist ideals again."

"Fuck you Thomas!" the younger male shouted, "You have no idea what it's like! You're over six feet!"

The one known as Thomas just smiled and shook his head, walking from around the counter to stand in front of the two blonds. Ayase's eyes widened. He was really tall! And foreign too, if he could go by the name and the slight accent to his Japanese. The taller male offered him a kind smile. "And who might you be?" he asked.

Skyler perked up, turning to Ayase as if he was surprised he was there. "Ah! I forgot. Thomas, this is Ayase. Ayase, this is Thomas."

"Nice to meet you."

"I was hoping maybe you could teach him some moves. Like you've been teaching me!"

Thomas smiled, his eyes warm and adoring as they trailed over Skyler. "Sure thing."

Ayase looked from Skyler, to Thomas, and back, still unsure and more than confused. "Uh... if you don't mind me asking... what are you going to teach me? And... w-who are you?"

"Oh, this is my half-brother." Skyler said simply, already heading towards the back.

"What?"

Thomas smiled sheepishly. "It's a long story..."

Ayase bit his lip, not wanting to press the issue, though it at least explained Skyler's hair and complexion. He followed the brothers towards the back, where it opened up to a spacious room, mats covering most of the floor. There was a punching bag in one corner too, as well as exercise equipment and full length mirrors covering one whole wall. "What is this place?"

"It's my training room." Thomas answered before disappearing somewhere into a room in the back.

"Training?"

Skyler nodded. "Thomas is trained in all types of wrestling and martial arts styles. I find it sort of ironic really."

Ayase frowned in confusion. "How so?"

"Thomas is 100% American. Yet, he has a half-Japanese sibling and is top in the ranks of mixed martial arts." Skyler shrugged, "I just think it's funny."

Ayase thought on it a moment, before agreeing with a giggle. "But why did you bring me here?"

Skyler looked at him thoughtfully. "What is the one thing you want most Ayase-kun?"

The blond seemed a little surprised by the question, as Kanou's strong profile flashed through his thoughts. He pushed it aside. "To become stronger." he answered quietly.

Skyler smiled bitter-sweetly. "Yes, we all wished we were a little stronger. A little bit tougher looking. Maybe then they'd take you seriously, right?"

Ayase looked away, unable to meet Skyler's eyes. The younger male continued talking softly. "But it's hard for us. We aren't built like them. We aren't made to be strong."

Ayase still couldn't look at him, thought quietly he asked, "So, what can we do?"

Skyler chuckled. "It means we fight a hundred times harder. We go the extra mile to prove we aren't as weak as we look."

The older blond looked up at him in surprise. "You either live as a victim, or as a fighter Ayase." Skyler explained, "You can't be both."

Thomas came out then, dressed in loose fitting shorts and a few water bottles in hand. "Ready to get started?" he asked, "I'm sure Skyler could lend you some work out clothes."

Skyler stood and grabbed Ayase's hand. "Come Aya-chan, lets show 'em what we're made of!"

In the back, Ayase went into the bathroom to change, not comfortable to dress in front of another male. Skyler had pulled off his shirt before they had even gone through the door, but he seemed to understand Ayase's need for privacy. The older male had a lot to think about, and wanted to take a moment to catch his breath. Skyler was like Someya when the okama was excited. She tended to talk fast, and quite loudly as well, spouting out her opinions without a care in the world. It was a trait that Ayase admired and wished he possessed.

Stepping out of the room, he found Skyler waiting patiently waiting. "Ready now?"

Ayase nodded, though made no move to follow. "Um... Skyler-kun?"

"Hm?"

"I just..." he took a deep breath, "I wanted to thank you. We hardly know each other but... you've helped me with so much."

For the first time, Skyler actually smiled. There was no mischievousness in it, nor falseness. Just a simple smile. "You're welcome Ayase."

Smiling in return, they headed out together to meet with Thomas.

* * *

_**A/N:** Yay! Another chapter done! WoOt! I'm on a roll! _

_Lyrics credited to Abney Park, their song 'Fight of Flight'.On a completely random note, they did a cover of one of my favorite songs 'Creep', originally sung by Radiohead. The cover wasn't that bad, but the original is better. But I just luuuuuv stalker music. :3_

_And I forgot to say this last chapter, but the song was 'Four in the Morning' by the wonderful Gwen Stefani. I miss when she was still in No Doubt..._

_Next chapter should be up soon. No more running away for me! I was a little surprised only got like, two reviews for chapter 11. I mean, I TEMPTED YOU ALL WITH SMUT! Neh, maybe all the fangirls are holding out in protest for my absence? _

_**Review Replies! **To all two of you! And thanks to everyone who read it as well! Please review! My offer of smut to my 100th review still stands!_

_**CarmieHime:** I think we should take a baseball bat, and knock some sense into Kanou... but that's just me as a person. As a fanfic writer, I'll just like, make him learn a lesson or something. :3 Thanks for reviewing. Don't worry about Skyler and Homare. TEH TRUTH SHALL BE REVEALED... at a much later time..._

_**Onige-a: **Aw, you're one of my favorite readers! Shush! Don't tell the others! I hope you get lucky and get to be my 100th reviewer! If not maybe I'll just be awesome and write you something anyway. Thanks for the confidence boost! :3_


	13. If you love something

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**Congratulations to Onige-a for being my 100th reviewer!_

"_What do you say in a moment like this?_

_When you can't find the words, oh, to tell it like it is,_

_Just close your eyes and let your heart lead the way,_

_Let's get out of here,_

_Oh, what do you say?"_

**Chapter 13: If you love something...**

"I'm n-not so sure about this Thomas-san..."

"C'mon! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah," added Skyler, "It only stings for a second, then your blood starts pumping and you get really into it!"

Vaguely, Ayase felt like he had heard that before, though he couldn't remember where or why. "I just... have to hit it?"

Thomas patted the side of the punching bag he was standing behind, holding it steady for the shorter blond. "Yep. Form your fist like I showed you and hit it."

Even though he knew the bag had no feelings, nor would it hit him back, Ayase still didn't really want to punch it. He wasn't a violent person by nature. The very thought of violence made him cringe, even if someone deserved it.

However, Skyler said it would help him to get stronger. And... he didn't want to be a victim anymore. Determination taking hold, he took a deep breath, formed a fist, and swung.

"Ow!" he whimpered, shaking out the sting in his hand, "That hurt!"

Skyler and Thomas did their best not to laugh too loudly at the pouting blond. Ayase bit his lip, feeling embarrassed. Couldn't he do anything right? "I'm sorry. I d-didn't mean-"

Thomas shook his head, still smiling. "Why are you apologizing? You did great. No one gets it the first time, even Skyler."

The younger blond pretended to be offended. "What? Lies! I'm amazing at absolutely everything!"

"Sure you are." Thomas sarcastically agreed, then leaned towards Ayase to whisper, "The first time he tried, he slipped and fell face first onto the floor!"

"Stop talking about me!" Skyler whined, kicking Thomas playfully.

Ayase smiled as the brothers continued to banter. Thomas had been teaching them moves and stances for a good hour now, and Ayase had watched them play fight and tease for most of it. He could tell they where really close, and it made him wish he'd had a brother growing up, or maybe even a sister. He hardly remember his mother, outside of a handful of memories. His only close connection with family had been his grandmother. His cousin's however... it was still too painful to think about.

Ayase jerked back as a damp wash cloth was waved in front of his face. "Getting lost in thought?" Skyler teased, taking Ayase's bruised hand and wrapping it carefully. The coolness felt wonderful.

"Sorry."

"Ug,stop apologizing! You didn't do anything!"

"I'm so-" he stopped, slapping his hand over his mouth.

Skyler looked at him sternly for a moment, before laughing. "You really are too nice for your own good."

Not knowing what to say, Ayase just smiled sheepishly. Thomas handed them both some water. "You should come by with Skyler when he comes for his lessons. I'd be happy to teach you some more things."

"Really? Thank you so much!"

"It's no problem."

"How much will it cost?"

Thomas shook his head. "I'm not gonna take your money. Knowing that you guys can protect yourselves, even a little bit, is payment enough."

Ayase was shocked. "Really? Are you sure? I don't make a lot of money but I'd feel bad for-"

Thomas held up his hands to stop him. "Seriously, I don't need your money."

Ayase sighed in defeat. "All right...but, are you sure I can even learn?"

Thomas smiled. "If someone is willing to be taught, then they'll learn."

"I'm not so sure," Ayase confessed, "I only hit the bag once and... well..."

The taller male looked at him thoughtfully, before getting to his feet. "Let's try something then. Does your hand hurt to much?"

Ayase flexed his fingers, wincing slightly. "No, I'll be fine."

"All right, then I'm going to show you a move, and then I'm going to pretend to attack you. Just do what I show you, all right?"

Ayase nodded, listing intently as Thomas taught him to use a persons weight against them. "In most cases, a person will sneak up behind you and try to grab you. Instead of pushing against them, latch onto their arm, turn your body with your legs apart, and pull. The force of them trying to grab you will then work against them and cause them to fall."

The blond nodded, hoping he could remember everything Thomas had told him. "You ready?" the American asked.

Ayase nodded and Thomas went to grab him. He grabbed the taller male's arm, pulling with all his might. To his amazement, Thomas went right down! "Oh my goodness! Are you okay?" asked Ayase worriedly.

Thomas only laughed. "I hope you don't ask all your attackers that."

Ayase blushed. Still, it was exciting to think he could bring down a big guy like Thomas down! "Thank you for showing me that!" he said, bowing politely in thanks.

"No worries, you did a great job."

"Yeah," agreed Skyler, "But then again, Thomas is a big teddy bear."

Thomas rolled his eyes as Ayase smiled. "Still, thank you. I've never done something like that before." In truth, it was quite empowering. All those times when he had been kidnapped, he had simply froze, thinking that if he made himself as little of a nuisance as possible, then maybe they wouldn't hurt him. It never crossed his mind to actually fight back.

"Why don't you go get changed and we'll head to my place to eat." Skyler suggested, "I don't know about you but I'm famished."

"Sure," Ayase agreed. He hadn't eaten all morning after all and it was starting to get late.

As Ayase walked into the back room, Skyler gave Thomas a look. "What?" the older male asked innocently.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that if he tried that on some stranger, he'd be in big trouble."

Thomas smiled sheepishly. "I was just trying to give the kid a confidence boost. It worked wonders for you. You can at least leave a bruise on me when we practice."

Skyler rolled his eyes, "Whatever. One day one of us will flip you for real!"

"Sure you will. And that'll be the day I let you do my make-up."

Smiling, he stood on his toes to place a kiss on his brothers cheek. "Thank you though Thomas. I really appreciate you doing this for me."

"No problem little brother. Now go get changed, I don't want you walking around so late. Do you need me to walk you home?"

"No, we'll be fine," he assured, "What could possibly go wrong?"

* * *

Someya sighed contentedly as she sipped her tea, taking her time to savor it, much to Kanou's annoyance. "Ready now?" he asked through clenched teeth.

She smiled sweetly. "I am now Dana, thank you. So, what brings you to my office?"

"I... went with Ayase yesterday." Kanou began carefully.

"Obviously."

Kanou glared, but continued. "I tried to talk to him... but it got... complicated..."

"Let me guess; you got angry and hurt his feelings."

"In a way."

Someya's brow raised in question. "Continue."

"We ended up at his apartment... and... well..."

Someya stood from her desk, outraged. "How dare you Kanou! I trusted you and like always you force yourself upon him!"

Kanou stood as well, slamming his hands on Someya's desk. "I did nothing of sort!"

The okama paused. "Then what happened?"

Kanou looked away, seemingly embarrassed at what he was trying to say. It was a surprise to the okama that Kanou could even look nervous. "He... invited me inside. And we did have sex. But... it was different..."

Someya sat back down. "How so?" she asked softly.

Kanou was still unable to meet her eyes, though she could still see the slight softening to his gaze. "He didn't say no, or even try to fight me. I know he doesn't really mean it when he says no, but this time... it was the first time I've seen him like that. Like, it was what he wanted."

"Maybe he truly did."

The taller male's eyes sparked in anger, finally turning back to the okama. "But this morning he refused to come back with me! How could he act like that, and then turn right back around and say he doesn't want me?"

"Did he say that to you? That he doesn't want you?"

"He said he didn't want to go back with me."

"That doesn't mean he doesn't still want you."

"Then why won't he stay with me!" Kanou shouted,

Someya sighed, picking up her tea cup and sipping thoughtfully. "Did you stop and ask why?"

Taking a deep breath, the taller male did his best to reign in his anger. "Of course."

"And?"

"He said... that it was him and not me."

"Well," Someya replied, "There's your answer."

"Answer? What the fuck kind of answer is that?"

"Language Dana," the okama scolded gently, earning herself a growl from the male. "Answer me this Kanou, what kind of person is Ayase?"

"Why are you asking me that? What does that have to do with anything?"

Someya rolled her eyes. "Just please answer the question."

Kanou huffed in irritation, but obliged. "He's kind, sweet, and caring. He can cook better then even the best chef's and he never fails to do things that make me happy. He's selfless, albeit a bit too trusting for his own good."

Someya smiled. "That he is. You think you know him well."

Kanou glared. "What do you mean, 'think'?"

Someya leaned back in her chair, delicately folding her hands on her lap as she looked at Kanou seriously. "Exactly what I mean. You think you know him, what he wants and what he dreams about. But do you really? Have you ever asked him?"

"Of course I have!"

"Maybe. But answer me this;_ have you ever given him the space he needed to figure it out for himself?_"

"What are you talking about?"

"He's twenty years old. He's growing up and he's changing. He might be small and sweet, but he's still a young man. He needs to see the world, to learn. To make mistakes and find out who he is for himself."

"That's fucking stupid. He'll get killed out there."

"Then that's his choice to make."

"Fuck that!" Kanou yelled, "Are you saying I should stand back and let him get hurt?"

"No," said Someya, "I'm telling you to let him live his life. Let him make his own decisions. If you do, he'll let you be a part of them. A flower not given to the sunlight will wither and die. Give him the sun, let him flourish, and you can watch him bloom."

"And if I refuse?" Kanou growled.

Someya shrugged, taking another sip of her tea. "Then you can lose him."

* * *

_**A/N:**I love Someya, I really do. She will kick your ass! In high heels!_

_Song creds go to Reba McEntire. The rest of the song really wouldn't have anything else do with the story, but I liked the chorus. Because really, what can you say? :/_

_So, I totally pulled the flip scene out of my ass. I've never been to a defense class or anything. Too poor... but I think I've seen something on tv once! :D I did go on Youtube and poked around, but mostly I just saw videos saying 'KICK 'EM IN THE BALLS' and, well, I liked this better._

_Finally, a last note: I've had quite a few readers express their growing interest in my OC Skyler. This makes me a very happy writer! But, as I said before, since he is an OC and not a central character from the original manga, I don't want him to be too much in the limelight. Every time I mention him, it's because I need him to help me further the story... and he's basically my favorite little cock tease. Gah! So adorable!_

… _*ahem* Anyway, there is currently a poll on my profile asking readers if they would read a spin-off of 'No Money, No Love', with Skyler and Homare as the central characters. It would start back with the mysterious night at Skyler's apartment and extend to what happens once NMNL ends. The poll will be left up for the next few months, possibly until I'm finished writing NMNL. Please vote if you would read it! Remember, it would really have hardly anything to do with the original Okane Ga Nai cast and made mostly up of OC's! Don't click 'yes' unless you really would read it!_

_**Review Replies!** *throws roses to the crowd* You're beautiful people! Just beautiful!_

_**A Dangerous Notion: **Oh, how I've missed you so! I really wish I could have given you the chapters before I posted them, but I just couldn't wait! I am super super happy to see that you still gave it a thumbs up. My absence was mainly due to really rethinking where I was going with this story. I have a much better sense now and am glad to be back!_

_**NightingaleLost**: Thanks for your adoration and praise! It brings warm fuzzies to me soul and eases the wrath of my inner fangirl! I LOVE Okane Ga Nai too, and also admit to reading everything out there. Unfortunately, it's still a lesser known fandom, but I see it growing more and more each day!_

_Sorry for the little mistakes. Would you believe me if I said it was all my computers fault? It's an ancient little thing that needs to be taken out back and introduced to my shotgun, just to be put out of its misery. Half of the keys stick and don't type right..._

_Heh, I promise a smut fic to the fan that buys me a new comp!_

_**Onige-a:** Congratulations for being the 100th reviewer! This makes No Money, No Love my top reviewed story! Keep on the look out for your special story with in the next few weeks! :3_

_**Percygranger:**Thanks for your review! And thanks for you input with Someya. I never thought of that before. When I started this story, I asked myself 'who could kick Kanou's ass into finally understanding he needs to treat Ayase better?', and I immediately thought of Someya. I am trying to make her a bit more supportive now that Kanou has stopped being an ass to her. Thanks again! I really appreciate it!_

_**Kitty in the Box: **Your review wins the 'one that made me laugh the most' award. Yay! Ayase cherries! *nom nom nom*_

_**Irunia: **Yeah, Ayase training. I'm really not going anywhere with that bit really. Mostly it was for insight to more of Skyler's character and background, as well as a little moral boost for Ayase. This chapter was pretty much all to progress Kanou actually... _

_Anyway, love the reviews! Keep reading and spreading the love! :D_


	14. You set it free

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** Sorry for the long wait. No excuse 'cept to blame writers block. And I was in a rush to get this out so I really didn't check it too well so don't be surprised if you find a lot of mistakes. I promise to fix them later. Enjoy._

_"Staring deep into your eyes,_

_Searching for answers to questions I can't find_

_If I took for granted that I held your heart,_

_I'd beg forgiveness, but I don't know where to start_

_So, draw me a map that leads me back to you,_

_I don't know where to go, please tell me what to do_

_Help me find the road your on,_

_I just need directions home_

_Draw me a map that leads me back to you..."_

_**Chapter 14: ...you set it free**_

It was hours later when Kanou finally left Someya's office. Anyone could see how much more subdued the man was, almost beaten down. Someya had done her best to encourage him to keep trying, but Kanou had been eerily quiet for the rest of their talk.

They were driving now, Homare at the wheel and Misao at his side. Kanou hadn't said a single word since his quiet command of 'just drive' when they had first left. The twins exchanged a look, their equivalent to being worried. This was so unlike their boss, and if they were honest, it was downright scary.

Misao glanced his brother, brow raising as if to say, _'Aren't you going to say something?'_

It was common knowledge that Homare was the more talkative of the two. The male knew his brother was right, that he should maybe try to talk to Kanou. He might have been their boss, but in an odd way, he was also their friend. Homare may not always agree with Kanou, but they had been through so much together, it wouldn't be right for him not to say something. His own feelings might be more then a little confused, but he could push that aside for professionalism. It was what he had always done in the past after all. "Sir?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?"

Homare paused, uncertain of what to say or do. "Have you... chosen where you would like to go?"

Kanou's eyes met Homare's briefly in the review mirror. He could see the slight concern in the twin's gaze, the hesitancy in wanting to pry but unsure if now was the right moment, "I just need to gather my thoughts for a moment." he assured. Homare nodded and said nothing more as Kanou turned away.

It was hard for him, all of this 'coming to terms' business. However, Someya, for all her irritating antics, was right. He had lost sight of what was truly important when it came to Ayase. He had cared in the beginning, he had cared so much and agonized over every detail. When had that stopped? When had he taken Ayase's silence as just another form of acceptance?

He used to wonder what the blond was thinking. When he would catch him doing nothing more than staring wistfully out the window. When he would begin to stutter out a sentence, only to stop himself and turn away. Kanou used to demand answers, because Ayase never seemed to say what he was really feeling. When had Kanou stopped yearning to know?

Ayase had changed. It had been slow and subtle, but Kanou couldn't deny it anymore. Why hadn't he seen that? Was it because he hadn't wanted to, or because Kanou really didn't know Ayase as well as he thought?

It was there now, right in his face. He couldn't turn away from it, especially after last night. His Angel had been so beautiful, so willing. Kanou hadn't been able to figure it out what had been so different, but he knew now. Ayase had wanted him on his own terms, not on Kanou's. Ayase had opened his arms and his heart, and for a moment Kanou had felt what it was really like for Ayase to give his everything.

He couldn't even call it sex anymore. It was so much deeper, so much _more_. Kanou wasn't a silly romantic, he didn't use words like 'making love'. But for that night, Kanou hadn't just held Ayase's body, he'd held his heart too.

And now that he had tasted it, he couldn't do without it anymore.

Underneath all the anger, all the pain, Kanou could even admit he was a little proud of Ayase. He had grown up without Kanou ever seeing it. He had _stood up_ to Kanou, had outsmarted him and escaped. No one else in the world could ever say they had done anything close to what Ayase had done.

That was why he was precious. That was why Kanou could never have anyone else.

Kanou had gotten stupid, he could admit that much, and had let the most perfect person slip through his fingers. Now he would pay for his mistakes, swallow his pride, and try to fix whatever had broken between them.

He knew deep down that it couldn't be completely hopeless. Last night was a perfect example of that. If Ayase truly hated him, he wouldn't have invited him inside, wouldn't have had sex with him. That meant a small part of Ayase still cared.

"Take me to Ayase's." he commanded softly.

If Ayase could change, so could Kanou.

* * *

"So..."

"... 'So' what?"

Skyler rolled his eyes, nudging Ayase's arm playfully as they made their way to the younger blond's apartment. "Are you gonna spill or not?"

Ayase frowned in confusion. "Spill about what?"

"Mr. Tall Dark and Scary! I know there is some juicy story in there somewhere!"

Ayase swallowed nervously, knowing Skyler must be talking about Kanou. He averted his gaze, finding a smudge on his sneakers very interesting all of a sudden. Skyler was proving to be a good friend, but Ayase wasn't ready to talk about _that time_. He still had nightmares sometimes, flashbacks of that awful night. Rough hands grabbing him, feeling dizzy and sick as he was spread out naked on a stage, yelling and cheering from a faceless crowd, and then... then..

"Hey, are you all right?" Skyler stopped him, gently touching his arm.

Ayase flinched, stepping away from the concerned male. "Stop!"

Skyler's dark blue eyes widened in surprise at the sudden outburst. He raised his hands in a peaceful gesture, taking a step back from the startled blond. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you..."

"I-it's all right. I... I just was lost in thought..."

Skyler nodded, watching the other male silently as he caught his breath and calmed himself. "I didn't mean to ask such a personal question. That was rude of me."

"It's fine... it's just... not something I like to think too much about..."

They continued walking again in silence, Skyler sending concerned glances to an Ayase who was somewhere a million miles away.

Ayase never liked to think about how he and Kanou had met. A lot of it he didn't remember, but the parts that he did...

He swallowed back the rising sickness as the memories began to creep once more. Kanou standing above him, a dark look in his cold eyes. Kanou, talking, saying horrible things about his family. Even if they were true, he hadn't want to believe them. That was his family, they were supposed to love him and keep him safe.

Then Kanou's anger, the ripping of his shirt and the echoing sound of buttons falling onto the hardwood floor.

And then a blur of hot breath on his neck, teeth biting at his skin.

And then pain. So much pain.

"Ayase!"

Ayase jumped in surprise as he was pulled back, the blaring of a horn from a car as it raced over the spot he had just been standing in. He landed in an awkward heap on the sidewalk, tangled with a very worried and irritated Skyler. "Are you _crazy_? You almost got run over! What the hell were you thinking?"

"I'm s-sorry... I didn't m-mean to..."

Skyler sighed, eyes rolling skyward as if asking for some divine assistance. "It's fine, accidents happen."

Standing, he brushed the dirt from his jean cut-offs, extending a hand to help the shaken blond to his feet. "Just be more careful next time, all right?"

Ayase nodded, allowing Skyler to take his hand and lead him down the sidewalk. He was still eerily quiet as they entered the small apartment, to the point where Skyler was ready to explode if the normally friendly blond didn't start talking soon.

He felt bad now for bringing up a subject that was obviously so painful. The blond was just so curious as to how someone so seemingly sweet and innocent got caught up with someone like Kanou. What was their connection? Ever since Someya had asked him to talk to the brute, his interest had been piqued. And then after meeting Homare and...

Shaking his head too clear his thoughts, he set to making tea, frowning at his half empty cupboards.

"Have you ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

Skyler turned, brow raised in question at the other male's seemingly random statement. "Yes. It's where a victim falls in love with their kidnapper, right?"

Ayase nodded, head hung as he stared at the table top. "I read about it once, in one of my college classes. At the time I really didn't understand what it was. How could someone fall in love with someone that has hurt them so much?"

Something about his tone of voice made Skyler uneasy. Was he saying Kanou had kidnapped him?

"I think I can understand a little now. When someone becomes everything, when they control everything, all your pain or your pleasure, there really is no leaving that so easily."

Skyler sat across from Ayase, taking his pale hand in his and giving it a gentle squeeze. Ayase looked up, watery blue eyes looking into Skyler's own dark blue. "Sometimes bad things happen to good people." he said softly, the pained look on his face almost an exact mirror to Ayase's own, "Sometimes those that are supposed to love you and take care of you, are the ones that hurt you the most. That's life, Ayase. That is reality."

Ayase shook his head, a few tears trailing down his cheek. "I can't do this by myself Skyler. I don't know how. I'm not strong like you."

The younger blond laughed bitterly, turning away. "Don't be mistaken Ayase, no one is as strong as they seem. Everyone is vulnerable, has weaknesses."

Ayase thought of Kanou, his strong profile, the wild look in his eyes. It was hard for him to believe anything could hurt him.

"But you learn," Skyler continued, "And you adapt. You fight and you live your life."

"I made a mistake," Ayase said suddenly, "I did something I probably shouldn't have, and I don't know how to fix it."

"Only you know whats best for you Ayase, I can't tell you more then that. Only you know how far you can take something."

He turned away, looking off towards the single window in the small kitchen. "I've done things I'm not proud of," he said softly, "I do things still that probably aren't the best. But I take it without a complaint, and I survive."

His eyes finally returned to Ayase's, gaze intense, as if trying to convey something he couldn't exactly say out loud. "I told you that you can either be a victim or a fighter. Will you fight Ayase? Or will you give up?"

Ayase bit his lip, thinking of the past few days. Finding his own place, doing what he wanted, learning how to defend himself. He looked at the male in front of him, so much like himself that it was scary. He thought of Kanou, of wanting him without fear or uncertainty. He thought of Someya, putting herself on the line for him, and the helping hand she had extended during his hardest times.

This wasn't about Someya though, or Skyler or Kanou. This was about him, and what he wanted most.

"I want to fight."

_**A/N:** Nothing else to say. Review please._

_**Review Replies!** I'm depressed, feed me more reviews. _

_**Maddie-Chan96:** Haha! Welll, I'm glad this entertains 40 year old women too!_

_**PrincessAmioki: **A HomareAyase fan, huh? I kind of cheer for him too. I'm really happy that he's becoming more involved in the manga. Ex-delinquent/ sort of like Tokyo drift driver... who knew? Maybe I'll think of something for a HomareAyase fanfic. I'll talk to the plot bunnies._

_AGE FAIL! *face palm*_

_**A Dark Secret:** WoOt! Love the Skyler fans!_

_SPELLING FAIL! *face palm*_

_**A Dangerous Notion:** …. owies..._

_You have a very valid point. I blame the fact that I think I was trying to put in too much comic relief. I hoped I cleaned it up a little in this chapter. I'm thinking I might go back and rewrite chapter 13, but at a later date. Because you are sooo write. _

_PLOT FAIL! *face palm*_

_**Tankyasue:** Ahhh thank you so much! Your reviews are always the best to read! I'm really glad that you've stuck with the story and keep giving such great feedback. :3_

_**Onige-a:** Love you! And your reviews! Haha! _

_**Kitty in the Box: **Oh! I wanna be Kanou's pet too! Hahaha! Love your reviews! KEEP 'EM COMING!_

_**Honorable Mention:** Percygranger, NowakiStar, Telayla, and Kaykat!_

_**Even if I didn't mention you, you are loved and I draw your name in little hearts! :3**_


	15. World Keeps Turning

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_A/N: I'm gonna keep it short and sweet. Nothing much goes on here, but next chapter (which I've got ¼ of the way done!) is the beginning of the exciting climatic parts! Yay! And I really had no set song for the chapter, so I threw up this Bowling For Soup song that I like and kind of fits… anyway, enjoy! :D_

* * *

"_Try not to talk, when there's nothing to say,_

_Kept bottled up, we get carried away_

_Then I fall, then I fall down,_

_Then we fall down_

_And you know that it makes me feel so ridiculous_

_A pocket full of posies, we fall down on the inside; pretty on the outside,_

_Turn it around, can we turn it around?_

_Try to make a comeback with nowhere to start from now_

_But it's looking up…"_

**Chapter 15: World Keeps Turning**

The silence in the room was stifling, and Ayase couldn't help but feel it was all his fault. Skyler was turning out to be such a good friend, and then he had gone and dumped his emotional baggage right on the table. Ayase knew he had a bad habit of sharing too much, especially when he was emotional. Nothing was normal about this whole situation, his whole life even. He was just glad that Skyler seemed understanding of it, and had asked no more questions. Being in such an emotional state, Ayase was unsure he could keep from spilling the whole story.

As the younger male finished up in the kitchen, Ayase distracted himself by taking in Skyler's apartment. The space was small, and yet, despite such limited space, it was still quite cozy. The walls were covered in odd music and movie posters, with a large shelf on one wall filled with books. Another wall had another shelf, this one with an older looking stereo system and stacks of CD's. There was no TV that he could see, though a beaded curtain led off into what he thought might be the bedroom. "You have a very nice place here." he commented politely.

"Thank you," Skyler replied with a smile, setting down a bowl of miso in front of him, "It's small, but really close to both my brother's dojo and my jobs."

"Jobs?"

"Yeah, I'm a dancer and a part time bartender at Club Star. It's mostly a weekend thing though."

"Club Star?"

Skyler smiled mischievously. "It's a local gay club. We should go out sometime. Meet some cute guys!"

Ayase's cheeks reddened at Skyler's provocative tone, disliking the idea instantly. "I d-don't think so. I'm not much of a dancer…"

"Aw c'mon Ayase, go out and have fun! What's stopping you?"

The older blond grew quiet, eyes falling to the floor. What was stopping him? The thought of Kanou was instantly in his thoughts, but then again, he had told himself that'd he wouldn't let anyone else rule his life. So why was he still holding back? Or worse, running back to him like the night before.

'_I guess its easier to say things then do them.' _he thought with a sigh.

"Uh-oh, have I lost you to the world of thought again?" Skyler interrupted with an amused smile.

"Sorry," Ayase replied sheepishly, "I've just got a lot on my mind."

"That's okay, I understand."

They shared a small smile and continued eating, talking idly. Ayase still felt a little tense, but Skyler seemed so understanding, and little by little he let himself relax. His emotions and concerns where still present in the back of his mind, but like everything else, he would enjoy this moment now, and deal with things as they came.

A knock on he door interrupted their conversation, and Skyler frowned as he stood. "I wonder who that could be…"

Ayase tensed, thinking for a moment it might be Kanou. It wouldn't surprise him, Kanou found his flat so easily, and had probably been watching him from the beginning.

"Open up Sky-chan, I know you're home." said an unfamiliar voice behind the door.

Ayase relaxed, glad that Skyler wasn't running into his past again so soon, until he noticed the tense set of the younger blonds shoulders. The blond swore softly under his breath, throwing a nervous glance at Ayase. "I… I need to deal with this real quick, okay? Just stay here."

Ayase nodded, nervousness twisting in his stomach as he saw Skyler's fear. All he had seen from the younger blond was strength and confidence, and seeing him so worried was unsettling.

Skyler opened the door slightly, and Ayase could see a sketchy looking male standing just outside. He was wearing a dark gray casual suit, towering over Skyler with a dangerous leer. "Hey there Sky, it's been awhile."

Skyler squared his shoulders, doing his best to seem unafraid, but even Ayase could see the way his hands slightly shook. "What do you want Eito?"

"Nothing, just thought I'd drop by. We haven't seen you at the house in awhile and Ginji was getting concerned."

"Ginji had no reason to be 'concerned', I've been keeping up with my payments, so he can leave me alone."

Ayase frowned, his concern growing the more he continued to listen. Who was this Ginji? And what were these 'payments' ?

"Still, he misses you Sky-chan. He says its boring without you. And you know how he gets when he's unhappy." Eito reached out his hand, skimming his fingertips down Skyler's cheek, making the younger blond flinch.

Ayase stood, not sure what he could do, but feeling like he should at least do something. "S-Skyler…?"

The younger male turned to look at Ayase, and he could see the fear and hurt in those dark blue eyes. Unfortunately, Ayase had also brought Eito's attention to himself. "And who do we have here?" he said, eyes roaming lustfully over Ayase's figure as he pushed his way through the door, "Aren't you a pretty little thing?"

Skyler stood in Eito's way, trying to push him back out. "Just go Eito! You have no business being here!"

"You can't tell me what I can and can't do you little slut!" he hissed, grabbing Skyler's arm and yanking him forward.

"Is there a problem here?"

Immediately Ayase could feel his tension drain away as he recognized that voice. "Homare…" he sighed with relief, knowing that things would be all right now that he was here.

Eito turned to where the Kuba twin was standing in the doorway, looking completely at ease despite the hard glare he fixed on him. His dark eyes settled on the tight grip he had on Skyler's arm, and his hand twitched to grab the gun tucked at his side.

"I don't know who the fuck you are," Eito replied, tightening his grip and causing Skyler to whimper, "But I suggest you get out."

It happened too fast for Ayase to follow. It was always frightening to see the way Kanou or the Kuba twins could take someone down. One minuet he was frozen in fear in the kitchen, watching Eito overpowering Skyler, then Kuba had him on his back, gun ready to fire in his face. Skyler looked on a few feet away, a mix of shock and fear on his face.

"W-what the hell man?" Eito shrieked, flinching back as he heard the gun click.

Homare said nothing as he stared down at the man, his emotionless façade never wavering. Eito could see that begging or pleading would not invoke any type of mercy. He began to shake , his eyes darting from the gun, to Homare's cold expression.

"K-Kuba-san?"

The quiet, tentative call of his name tore him away from the man beneath him, his dark eyes flickering to the quivering figure nearby. Ayase reached his hand out, laying it lightly on his shoulder. "M-maybe you should just let him go…"

With a small nod, Homare lowered his gun, standing aside. Eito wasted no time in scrambling to his feet and running out the door. Ayase sighed in relief, immediately going to Skyler's side to see if he was all right. "I'm fine." he assured, getting to his feet and running a slightly shaky hand through his blond hair.

"Are you sure?" Homare asked, impulsively taking his hand to examine the bruises around his wrist.

Skyler snatched his hand back. "I said I'm fine." he assured quietly, a slight dust of pink coloring his cheeks as he turned away.

Homare paused, almost taking a step closer, before he too turned away, turning his attention back to Ayase. "And you are all right as well?"

"I'm okay, you came in just in time."

"Very well, I'm glad I came here first."

Ayase's brows furrowed in confusion. "What are you doing here anyway Kuba-san?"

"Kanou-san wanted to speak with you. You weren't home so I volunteered to look for you."

"K-Kanou… wants to talk to me again?" Ayase asked, the apprehension evident in his voice.

"Only if you want to talk to him. He assured me he'd wait until you were ready."

"Was he… angry when you left him?"

"He was fine, just waiting for you."

The blond bit his lip in contemplation, bright eyes searching Homare's face for assurance as he asked, "Do you… think I should talk to him?"

Ayase always put up a brave front, but Homare could tell that being on his own was taking a toll on him. The Kuba twin thought back on all the times he walked in on Kanou's brutish behavior, the borderline abuse he inflected. There was nothing healthy about their relationship, the co-dependency and the blurry lines of wrong and right. Homare could easily end this, direct Ayase attention elsewhere until he was able to take a chance. "It's really not my place to make decisions for you…"

And yet, even as he thought this, Homare looked at Ayase carefully, taking in the dark circles under his eyes and the tired sag of his shoulders. He thought of Kanou's haggard look, his desperation of the last few days. He hated to say it, but they needed each other. Their roots had became so intertwined, it was almost hard to see where one ended and the other began. Ayase was the only one that could pull Kanou away from the edge of madness, and Kanou was the only one that could truly appreciate what that compassion meant. Maybe that was why Homare never really interfered. He knew, deep down, that in their own little misguided way, they fit perfectly.

" However, I think you should talk to him," he finished, meaning every word, despite the ache it left in his chest. "He needs you, even if he's not sure how to say it." .

He saw the way Ayase's eyes lit up, could almost hear the thought of _'He needs me…'_ echoing in the blonds head. "Thank you Kuba-san. Let me say goodbye to Skyler and then we can go."

Homare nodded, watching the two younger males exchange a few words, Skyler giving Ayase a reassuring hug, and telling him again that he'd be fine. "And thanks again Kuba-san." Skyler said, a mischievous glint lighting up his blue eyes, "For everything you've done for me."

Homare gave him a curt nod, unsure if he'd be able to say anything should he open his mouth. Skyler, a new problem entirely. Not just for the night before, but for the sudden introduction of that stranger Eito. Homare had planned on doing some research on him the night before, but had ended up doing something else entirely.

"Ready?" Homare asked, suddenly wanting to hurry and escape the intense dark blue gaze.

There was still a hint of uncertainty in Ayase's eyes, but with it was a strong sense of determination. Homare led the way outside, sincerely praying, for the first time in long time, that things would work out.

* * *

_**A/N:** Sorry guys, no review replies. I got so many it was hard to sit down and pick through all of them. Plus, I really just wanted to put this chapter out for you readers. You people have been so patient and understanding about everything going on in my hectic life. I'm hoping that I can pick this up again and turn out the chapters quick like I used to, but we'll have to see._

**_Please read and review! I love it!_**

_Oh, and I've decided that if I can reach 200 reviews, I'll do another gift-fic. I know I'm a long way off, and I don't expect to reach it this chapter, I'm just giving the world and FYI. :3_


	16. Desperately Wanting

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

**A/N:** EDITED 01/16/12 No comments other then I'm sorry for the delay. The lyrics are another part of the same Lisa Loeb song that I used in another chapter, but the title comes from the Better then Ezra song by the same name. Please enjoy.

"_You said that I was naive,_

_And I thought that I was strong_

_I thought, 'Hey, I can leave, I can leave'_

_Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you. _

_You said, 'I caught you 'cause I want you and one day I'll let you go'_

_You try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just so scared to lose_

_And you say, 'Stay'…"_

**Chapter Sixteen: Desperately Wanting **

The car ride back was silent, though not as uncomfortable as Homare thought it would be. He glanced away from the road every so often to the young man sitting in the back seat staring distantly out the window. He felt like maybe he should say something, some word of encouragement or advice, but knew it wasn't really his place. Already he felt like he had said too much back in the apartment. Sure, he and Ayase had talked often, but who was he to give some sentiment of comfort? He wasn't even sure what was going on or what Kanou was planning.

Ayase sighed as the cityscape flew past his window. He could feel the nervousness turning in his gut, making him feel like he might possibly be sick. As his apartment loomed closer, the scenery becoming more familiar with each passing moment, he could feel them multiplying. He kept asking himself why he was even here. He didn't have to come, he had a choice.

Yet, when he saw Kuba standing in the door way, fear and adrenalin still pumping in his blood from the thug Eito, he acted without hesitation. Homare had said that Kanou needed him, and it was still such a hard habit to break from. When Kanou beckoned him, he came without question, even though he knew that now he didn't have to. Already it felt like he was breaking his promise to Skyler. Wasn't he supposed to be acting stronger now?

Still, a part of him felt like he had to go. Something was different this time, especially with the way that Kuba kept glancing his way, acting as if he wanted to say something, but didn't know how. He knew he would have to finally face this if he wanted to get anywhere. No more doubt, no more giving into temptation, no more feeling like he couldn't do this. He had to, there were no other options. This was the moment that would make or break him. More then when he left, more then when he saw Kanou again for the first time. This time, he had to do things right.

The car came to a stop right outside his building, and Ayase awaited patiently for Kuba to come around and open his door. He took a deep breath as he stood on the side walk, letting the cool, crisp night air fill his lungs and clear his head. Homare watched him walk up the stairs alone, praying for the first time in a long time that things would work out. It didn't matter in which way, but if everyone could walk away with as little damage as possible, then he couldn't ask for more.

Ayase stood in front of the door, fumbling with the keys in his pocket, giving him just a few precious seconds to get his thoughts together. He didn't know what side of Kanou was waiting for him. Would he be angry? It was so hard to stay strong when those eyes could be so hateful. Would he try to touch him? That terrible touch that invoked so many feelings that Ayase would get dizzy from their intensity. How could he fight against such a force?

He opened the door, shutting it softly behind him, back turned to the rest of the room as he focused on locking the door and hanging up his keys. With one last deep breath, he turned around.

Kanou was seated in on of the rickety chairs at Ayase's table, staring at the blond with unreadable eyes. On the table, a few of his albums were spread out on the table. Pictures of his mother and father, of Ayase as a baby, and his beloved Grandmother before she passed. Many times Ayase would catch Kanou going through his pictures, so it had stopped bothering him a long time ago that Kanou would take them and go through them. In fact, he had found it quite amusing the way he would pester him with questions about who was who and where the pictures were taken.

The sight of Kanou looking through them once more almost made him smile, but then he remembered where they were and the circumstances surrounding them. It didn't seem so much as funny anymore, but incredibly sad. They stared at each other for the longest time, trying to gauge the others emotions. But, as the minuets ticked by, Ayase only found himself getting more and more frustrated. He could never figure out what that man was thinking, his eyes so withdrawn and distant. The only time he ever showed a hint of emotion was when he was either about to end someone or was about to pounce on Ayase for something perverted. He didn't want to think of those things though, he wanted honesty from Kanou. He wanted to know why.

"I missed… looking at these." The older male said softly, the first to break the silence.

Ayase didn't want to think about how his heart skipped a beat when, for just a moment, he though Kanou was going to say he missed _him_. "I haven't had time to update them." He replied, thinking instead of the shoebox of pictures in his closet.

Most of them where taken recently, shots of the girls at the shop, Kanou threatening Someya while she stood beside him looking composed and haughty, or the twins sitting quietly by themselves. They'd actually been ready to be put in his books for awhile, but something always stopped him from doing so. He would remember suddenly that these people _were not_ his family, they weren't supposed to be involved with the sacred memory of his parents. It hurt to much to think that he thought of including them, putting them with the things that were supposed to last forever.

He wasn't supposed to feel this content trapped in a cage.

Kanou shut the book and set in on the table with a quiet thud. Everything seemed amplified somehow, the quiet room roaring in his ears. Their mingled breath, the pounding of his heart, everything just seemed too loud. "Would you like something to drink?" Ayase asked, wanting to end the deafening slience. Kanou nodded, though voiced no preference of what he would like, so Ayase busied himself making tea.

Kanou continued to watch him, Ayase could feel his stare burning holes into his back, but he stayed where he was, seated at the table. Ayase was glad for that, not knowing how he would react should Kanou approach him like he had last night.

When the tea was done, he poured one for Kanou and himself, sitting down at the table as well. Kanou still had barely said a word, and it was beginning to worry Ayase. But he wasn't sure what to say either, so they sat there, neither of them speaking, tea slowly growing colder.

"I think… last night was a mistake."

Ayase looked up from memorizing the patter of the tile on his floor. "…What?"

"We shouldn't have had sex. We should have talked more."

Ayase stared at him confused for a moment, before he realized what Kanou was trying to do.

"Are you… apologizing?"

Kanou didn't reply, but Ayase felt a little better regardless. It wasn't an actual apology, Ayase wasn't sure Kanou even knew how to do that, but it was as close to one as he would probably get, and for Ayase that was enough. "I forgive you."

The stiff set of Kanou's shoulders seemed to relax at those quite words, and he sighed softly, closing his eyes. "Won't you come home with me Ayase?"

Ayase stilled, looking away from Kanou once more. "No, I can't."

"Why not?" he asked, struggling to keep the emotion from his voice. It was so hard to not be angry, to take his hurt out on the blond that caused him so much grief.

"It isn't right to be there. I can't go back."

"Why? I gave you everything you could ever need!" He knew his voice was rising, the anger bleeding through, but he couldn't hold back when it came to his angel. His fists clenched at his sides, resisting the urge to break something.

"You couldn't give me what I wanted Kanou…" he replied calmly, Kanou's anger, for once, not frightening to him. He knew what he had to say.

"And what would that be?"

"A choice. You never gave me a choice Kanou."

Just like that, all the rage and resentment Kanou had been feeling for the past few days drained out of him. Someya's words rang in his head, taunting him, throwing his mistakes in his face. But didn't they see? Didn't they understand? He couldn't give Ayase a choice. It was impossible to let him free, to let him go and make his own decisions.

Because what if he didn't chose him?

All at once his insecurities seemed to crash in around him. It's not like he didn't realize what he was doing was wrong. Each time tears filled those blue eyes, each time Ayase would beg him to stop and he would keep going, every time he would flinch at the slightest touch. Each and every time he died a little more inside, knowing that Ayase was his, but not his completely. He hadn't wanted things to be this way, he wanted Ayase to remember his face, to welcome him with open arms and promise to stay by his side forever.

But it hadn't worked out like that, and so Kanou had done the only thing he could think of that would keep Ayase with him. Ayase was everything that was good and pure in Kanou's life, and deep down, he knew that he was scared of what he would become without him.

A soft touch to his arm broke him out of his lamenting. He turned his head sharply, staring up at the most beautiful eyes. Even after years of turmoil, sadness, and pain dulling how they used to blaze with emotion, Kanou still found them the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. They were full of concern as they gazed at him, searching his face for a hint of what he was feeling inside. He always felt like those eyes could tear him down in ways that not even the strongest men could. Even now, he felt like crumpling, spilling out every doubt and fear, get on his knees and beg for him to come back.

Instead, he looked away, shrugging off the touch as he did. He missed the flash of pain that crossed Ayase's face, knowing he was once again shut out of what Kanou was feeling.

Something rose up in Ayase in that moment. Something that he'd been holding back since his Grandmother had passed away. Something that has been boiling in his blood, screaming to be freed every time he stayed silent, begging for release every time he shut his eyes and let things happen that he really didn't want.

"Stop…" he said, voice quiet but sure as he grabbed onto Kanou's sleeve. "Stop pulling away from me."

Kanou turned, mildly surprised at the determination he saw in those blue eyes. Ayase let go, now that he knew he had Kanou's attention. He stood a little straighter, shoulders back as he looked at the taller man right in the eye. "Stop hiding from me Kanou. You always force things out of me, make me say what I really feel, show me what I really feel, even if I don't like it. I'm not letting you walk away, not now."

Kanou wasn't sure how to react to such an tone authoritative coming from his usually docile little blond. It was almost comical to see him standing up to a man twice his size, but at the same time a little off putting. He'd already made Kanou feel and do enough things he wasn't comfortable with, and now he was outright telling him what to do?

"You have no power to tell me what to do." he said, stepping closer to invade the blonds personal space.

Ayase didn't take a step back like he had expected, though he still saw a small flash of fear in his eyes. Kanou immediately felt bad. He was here to try and convince him to come back, not fight with him.

"I'm tired of not knowing what you're thinking Kanou." Ayase said, exasperated at how Kanou was once again acting, "I'm tired of all your bullying tactics and your mind games. One minuet you force me to do things and the very next your off taking me out and telling I'm… I'm special to you. Which is it?"

"You're mine, I can do what I want with you." his tone was icy, but Ayase could see the panic in his eyes. His defensive walls were going up, the truth hiding behind crushing hands and hurtful words.

"No I'm not, not anymore. You don't have a right to me, so tell me the truth Kanou! Am I just a toy your throwing a tantrum over?"

Kanou was quiet before he uttered a soft 'No'.

"You could have anyone, buy anyone you wanted, so why me?" His voice finally started breaking as he asked the question that had been haunting him for years. "Why did you do this to me Kanou?"

"I don't know…" he replied lamely, turning away again, he couldn't stand to look in those eyes anymore.

Once again though, a soft touch stopped him. "If you want me to stay…" he said quietly, "… then give me a reason to."

Emotions threatened to overtake him, Kanou not used to letting himself be so vulnerable. So, he answered Ayase in the best way he could. There was no anger in his kiss, no fiery passion of getting swept up in the moment, or even the confusion they both had been feeling these last few days. This wasn't a kiss of force or forgetting or domination. Kanou swept him up into his arms, letting this kiss beg for forgiveness, because he couldn't ask it for himself. He wasn't good with words, he couldn't say the right things or make it better. But he could hold Ayase, he could wrap that small body in his strong arms and show his hunger, the way he lost himself in how good it felt to have his hands settle on Ayase's narrow hips and marvel about how perfectly they fit there.

Ayase was the first to pull away, gasping for air, closing his eyes as he tried to stop the trembling of his body, the heat that was spreading through his veins. There eyes met, Kanou's darker and more intense then Ayase had ever seen them. The older male leaned in for another kiss, but Ayase pulled away, shaking his head. "Don't make me do this again Kanou," he begged, burying his face against Kanou's arm as the turmoil began to gather in his eyes and slip down his cheeks, "I can't do this again, it will kill me. Don't make me do it."

Kanou's heart was breaking, unsure of what he wanted more. Should he give in to Ayase, or his desire? He needed him though, needed him like air in his lungs, blood in his veins. He needed to feel the heat and hear his cries and let them drown out the echo of gunfire, the sight of blood that haunted him. How could he ever get him to understand? Especially now, after so many years of torture, how much Kanou…

"I need you."

The words were so quite, that for a moment Ayase thought he had imagined them. He lifted his head to look up at Kanou. "Wh-what?"

Kanou cradled his face in his hands, brushing at a stray tear with his thumb. There was so many emotions swirling in their dark depths, more then Ayase could even begin to understand. All he knew was that it made his heart ache, especially when Kanou uttered those same sad three words again. "I need you."

He didn't make a move towards Ayase again, just continued to try to convey everything with his eyes. He was trying to get him to understand what was so hard for him to say, as well as give him what he most wanted.

A choice. They could continue, or he could walk away. It was all in the blonds hands now.

Ayase bit his lip in indecision, knowing that this was the moment he had been expecting all night. There was no denying that Kanou would be a part of him for the rest of his life, but that didn't mean it had to be the same life forever. It didn't have to be all or nothing if he didn't want it to. Kanou had given him his choice, now it was time to make it.

He took Kanou's hand in his, kissing the palm tenderly before looking him in his eyes. "I need you too," he replied, "But I don't want you to think this means you own me. Tonight… we can have tonight, but tomorrow we have to talk more."

"Will you come back with me?" Kanou asked, not even hiding the hopeful tone in his voice.

"Tomorrow we can talk about it." Ayase said again. It wasn't the 'yes' Kanou wanted, but it wasn't the out right 'no' he'd been dreading. He could live with a 'tomorrow'.

Ayase was the one to lead them to the small bedroom, his palm feeling hot and sweaty in Kanou's as they walked down the short hallway and through the door. It shut with a soft 'click' and Ayase turned to face the man that had given him so much pain, as well as so much pleasure through the years. There was a softness in Kanou's eyes he had only seen glimpses of before. It made his heart beat quicker, his breath coming in sharp and quick, and they hadn't even touched yet. It was so much more unnerving then his usual look of fire, or the great pain that threatened to drown him in the kitchen just a few moments before. Such a soft look brought up things he wasn't ready to try and figure out, wasn't ready to come to terms with. It was the worst when Kanou looked at him like that.

Kanou's fingers were feather soft as the traced down his arm, making the blond shiver, biting his lip to keep in the soft little moan that threatened to escape. Blue eyes slowly closed as Kanou leaned down to kiss him softly, a velvety brush of lips at first before deepening into something more. He couldn't hold back a small moan as Kanou's hands finally touched him, pressing at the small of his back to bring them closer together.

It wasn't long until Kanou had rolled him back onto the bed, towering over him as he coaxed Ayase's tongue to twine with his, sending shivers over his skin as his hand slipped under the smaller male's shirt to splay his fingers over his warm skin.

He had never seen Kanou act so careful before, so slow and tender, all the time pausing to look into Ayase's eyes and make sure it was okay. It was something beautiful to not be full of fear or regret while Kanou touched him, to close his eyes and let himself get lost in the feeling of his hands stroking over his sensitive nipples, the sensation of fabric sliding down his legs as Kanou undressed him, revel in the heat of bare slick skin sliding against his.

He whimpered as one slick finger began to tease him, shuddering at the sensation of being filled and touched. Kanou kissed one pale, trembling thigh, his other hands stroking Ayase's erection as his fingers continued to stretch and pleasure the smaller male. "Kanou!" he cried, the sound like music, when the older male brushed against his prostate.

He was all to aware of his own straining hardness between his legs, as he continued to make Ayase twist and moan. Unable to wait a second longer, he withdrew his fingers, positioning himself between the blonds spread legs. He gave a low groan as their cocks rubbed together, delighting in the feel of Ayase sprawled beneath him, the warmth and the feeling of being finally complete as he positioned himself and slowly pushed inside.

He had to take a deep breath, holding off on the orgasm that threatened to take him by surprise. He didn't want this over so quickly, he wanted to stay forever like this, confident in knowing that Ayase wanted this as much as he did. It made it so much better, every cry of his name, every snap of his hips as he buried himself deeper, it was all burned into his memory.

Ayase desperately clutched at Kanou's strong arms, clawing at his back as he thrust harder, pushed deeper, filled him so completely and left no room for everything else. He came with a wild cry, feeling Kanou's heat flooding him inside, and all the while, he heard the same words spilling from Kanou's lips over and over. "I need you, I need you, I need you."

It was those words that he kept with him as he let the afterglow slowly guide him to sleep. Kanou's heartbeat was strong in his ears as he laid there, wrapped in the older males arms, letting those words and emotions fill him with the tiniest spark of hope. Tomorrow morning would mean something new for the both of them, but he was confident that this time, things would turn out okay.

* * *

A/N: Once again, thanks for everyones patience with this chapter. I know its long over due and I hope not to disappear again for as long as I did.

And last, and always least to the world, to the Troll that left that nasty comment. Please kill yourself already. No one will ever love you, and your parents were right when they said they hated you. Please leave my story alone and go fuck yourself.

And to all the other lovely, beautiful, kind people that left comments worth their weight in gold, thanks as always and I hope that the Gods smile upon you... especially if you leave more nice reviews...


	17. Never Change

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** I have the BEST FIANCEE in the world! He sent me a brand new, 1,000 dollar, Dell laptop. So I can no longer use my old shitty laptop as an excuse for no new chapters. Enjoy the latest installment of NMNL. There aren't a lot of chapters left... D:_

* * *

"_Feelings scare you, you never look me in the eye  
Don't ever change, I just want you to know the complacency's always been staged  
I was blinded until you opened up my eyes_  
_I've always believed in you_

_Want to be more than that tonight, and live for the moment_  
_But that takes too much pride_  
_You will stay, when I'll never have if I tried_  
_Damned if I don't, what if I died without being with you_  
_I can try all I want_  
_The feelings would taunt saying 'loser, we see through you.'_  
_And forgive me, love, these thoughts are not my own_  
_They were put in my mind by aliens to keep me home alone_  
_And forgive me love, for wanting you_  
_Blame it on those eyebrows arching over baby blues_  
_Oh you, oh you..."_

**Chapter Seventeen: Some Things Never Change **

Usually Ayase was the first to wake in the mornings, the type that always valued an early start to the day. This morning however, Kanou found himself to be the only one blinking against the morning sunlight that filtered in through the window. His blond angel was still sleeping peacefully, tucked contentedly at his side. He closed his eyes, thinking he could get a couple more hour of sleep, but his mind just wouldn't let him rest. He sighed, tightening his arms around Ayase as his thoughts began to circle.

It was hard to admit, but he knew when he made a mistake. If he wanted to be with Ayase now, he had to start trying to fix it. He couldn't run away, couldn't throw his power around, or just assume he knew what Ayase wanted. Above everything, he wanted Ayase safe and happy. To force him to come home would destroy what little relationship he had left with the younger man. Besides, even if he did somehow force him, he knew Ayase would be truly miserable, and that was one thing he couldn't bare to think about.

He had said before that he would do anything for Ayase. Now, he had to step up, be a man, and give him what he wanted most: his freedom. He just hoped that Someya was correct when she said Ayase might let him be a part of his life. He wasn't sure what he would do if Ayase decided he didn't want him.

As he gazed at Ayase's peaceful face, he wondered what he was dreaming. What his ideas or plans where. He wished he could go back, ask those things, right the wrongs he had made. For now though, he would just make the best of this chance he had been given.

All too soon Ayase was stirring, breathtakingly blue eyes opened to meet Kanou's dark, intense gaze. "G-good morning..." he whispered softly, fighting the urge to squirm away from the warm body next to him.

"Good morning." Kanou replied, fingers tracing Ayase's cheek lovingly.

The younger male never knew what to do when Kanou acted like this. So sweet and gentle, as if Ayase might actually mean something more to him. The blond turned his eyes away, not able to look at the older male when he showed such signs of affection. He escaped from that warm touch, turning to gather some clothes from his drawer. Busying himself with the task of dressing, Ayase racked his brain for something to say.

As he watched Ayase dressed, Kanou had to resists the urge to pull the younger male back into his arms. All he wanted to do was stay in that bed forever, content to just be with Ayase, away from all the blood, death, and deceit. He hoped there would be a time they could just be together, without fear, no holding back. It was hard to say, but it scared the hell out of Kanou to feel that way about someone. But with Ayase, he felt it down in his bones that this was right. That he could do something good for once.

When Ayase finally turned to look at him, Kanou couldn't hold back anymore and reached a hand out to pull him into his lap. Ayase blushed, all to aware of how naked Kanou still was. "Um... Kanou?"

The older male sighed, burying his face in Ayase's pale blond hair. "I'm not very good with this... talking thing..." he said softly.

Ayase swallowed thickly, not sure why he had the sudden urge to cry. He stayed silent though, waiting for Kanou to finish. "But for you, I'm willing to try. I realize now that I never gave you a chance to live. I just... assumed that everything was fine. I was... wrong..."

Ayase nodded, unsure of what to say to that. All the feelings he'd been holding back rushed to the surface. He still couldn't tell the difference between what his true feelings were, and what Kanou had forced upon him throughout the years, but if Kanou was willing to try and work it out, then so was he.

"Thank you." he whispered, hugging the man. He wasn't completely ready to forgive Kanou, not until he could understand him a little more, but it felt like a step in the right direction.

He pulled himself away, smiling shyly as he wiped away the few tears that had gathered in his eyes. "I'll go downstairs and get some breakfast while you get dressed, okay? And then we'll talk some more."

Kanou nodded, the happiness evident in his eyes. To see it shining in their dark depths made Ayase smile, it wasn't often that the blond got to see such emotion from the older male. Kanou wasn't able to resist stealing a small kiss, before gathering his clothes and sauntering into the bathroom. Ayase blushed, still smiling as he thought how some things, like how he always managed to steal a quick kiss, never changed.

Slipping on his shoes, he took the outside stairway down to the back door of the building. His land-lady said he could help himself to any of the baked goods downstairs. It was a nice perk to living above a bakery.

He picked up some breakfast and coffee from the the land-lady, his blush deepening when she commented on how happy he was looking. He didn't say anything as to why he was feeling this good, it would be too hard to explain, so he just continued to smile and left to go back up stairs. He wasn't sure if there was anything that could bring his mood down.

"Well, hello again pretty thing."

Ayase's blood ran cold at the smooth voice coming from behind him. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was, though for the life of him he couldn't figure out what they would want with him. Then again, judging by the bruises he saw when he turned around, Eito was probably here to get back at Homare.

The thug's smile made Ayase's stomach turn, and he glanced back up the stairs towards his front door. Should he try to make a run for it? Scream? "Don't even think about it." he heard Eito growl, the distant click of a gun being cocked echoing in ears.

As the other mans hand covered his mouth, he could feel the cold steel pressing into his back as he was lead to a waiting car. The only thought his hysterical mind could think was that he was right about one thing.

Somethings never change.

* * *

Homare told himself that he was only doing this to make sure Ayase was safe. That he had to check up on this to make sure that no harm would come of their relationship. That was what he kept saying as he made his way up to Skyler's apartment. That goon that had showed up before ran with a small, but well known, street gang that was trying to make a name for themselves. If Skyler was mixing with those types of people, then it was Homare's duty to check him out and make sure that Ayase wouldn't be effected in anyway.

After brief moment of hesitation, he knocked one the door, waiting patiently for an answer. He faintly heard the sound of a soft curse and shuffling feet. A moment later, the door opened, Homare looking into Skyler's frowning face. "Can I help you?" he asked icily, not inviting him inside.

Homare was momentarily flustered by Skyler's hostile attitude. What was the blond angry about? If anything he would think that Skyler would be grateful to Homare for taking care of those lackeys! "I came to... make sure you were all right..."

Skyler paused, assessing Homare with his dark eyes, brow raising in skepticism. "Something tells me that isn't your usually style Homare. What is it you really want?"

Homare tried not to let the informal use of his name get to him. Especially with what happened the night before last, the twin really had no right to chastise Skyler over it. He was right anyway, and the uncanny way that Skyler just seemed to know everything was really unnerving him. "I know who that man from earlier was. I want to know what your relationship with Ginji is."

Homare almost felt like smirking in triumphant at the way Skyler stiffened. It was nice to get under the blonds skin instead of the other way around. "That is none of your business." he said defensively, taking a step back as if he would slam the door in Homare's face.

"Where Ayase is concerned, it is. I know you know who Kanou is, I saw the recognition in your eyes. It is my job that his business and his personal life are separated."

Skyler couldn't help a sly smile. "Isn't it already a bit late for that? Mixing business and pleasure I mean."

Homare swallowed thickly as his thoughts drifted to the night before. Tanned skin, a halo of blond hair and angelic blue eyes. A soft caress of words that whispered _'I can be whatever you want me to be...'_

He shook his head, knowing he couldn't deter from his task. He wasn't here for Skyler, not at all. "Tell me what Ginji has to do with this." he demanded again, his voice holding more of a threat then before.

Skyler shook his head. "Nothing that concerns you," he reiterated again, "I'm taking care of it."

Homare's eyes asked all sorts of questions. The biggest one being how Skyler thought he was 'taking care of it'. "If you are in some king of trouble I can-"

" You can what?" he spat, some of that earlier fire returning to his eyes, "You've helped enough thank you very much. I can take care of myself. I've always taken care of myself, without the help of any man!"

Homare was quickly becoming frustrated. He wanted to help Skyler, but the blond was so damn infuriating! How was he supposed to take care of him if he didn't let him!

As he realized his train of thought, he froze in surprise. He wasn't here for Skyler, he was here for Ayase! He took a step back in uncertainty, and Skyler could see he had won. "Just leave Homare." he said again, "Don't worry about me anymore."

Homare nodded silently, his usual cold demeanor returning in a last ditch effort to keep this relationship as impersonal as possible. A part of Skyler was sad to see it, but inside he knew it was for the best. Whatever this was between them, whatever happened last night, needed to be left in the past.

He paused just before shutting the door. "Hey, one last thing? Tell Ayase good luck for me? I... I have to go visit some family for awhile and I'm not sure I'll get to say goodbye."

The Kuba twin nodded once before Skyler shut the door. Without looking back, Homare walked away.

* * *

_**A/N:** DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNN! I couldn't help myself with the cliff hanger. I have a mental image of everyone screaming 'NOOOOOOO!' at there computer screens and crying. :D_

_I also couldn't help throwing in the small bit with Homare and Skyler. It was a legitimate scene though, that sets up for the next chapter. But I really do love Homare and Skyler, and I'm happy everyone else does too. :3_

_Big thanks to See1like, Onige-a, Bellaliciouss, lolcari, and Kitty in the Box from being with me from the beginning and always leaving reviews that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Love you!_

_Also, one more thing, I started a fanfiction blog to give better updates on my stories, previews of upcoming stories, and general randomness about my fanfiction. Its (thewitchbaby.)(blogspot.)(com) just remove the parentheses to see it._

_Song used for this chapter is by Say Anything. My all time favorite band in the WHOLE WORLD! _

_Until next time chicklets!_


	18. No Matter What

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** Another chapter for you all. With Air Supply because mentally I'm middle aged. Also, an apology ahead of time for some not so nice things done to a certain blond. It's M for a reason, and it's not always a good reason. Implied non-con. D:_

"_We give, we take, we bend until we break  
We touch and feel, to hurt or heal  
And when we can,  
We run so far from who we really are  
And we starve and thirst, we praise and curse  
And I don't care how near or far_

_I'll find you, wherever you are_

_You know I'll find you, wherever you go..."_

**Chapter Eighteen: No Matter What**

Ayase winced as his blindfold was removed, momentarily blinded by the sudden harsh light. The car ride had seemed endless, though he assumed they had driven in circles for awhile just to confuse him. Once they stopped, they had dragged him out of the car, up a few flights of stairs, and finally into the room he currently found himself in.

He blinked the spots out of his vision, catching Eito's sadistic smirk before the only door out was slammed shut, the click of the lock a loud echo in his ears. He too a moment to just breath, trying not to panic. This wasn't the first time he'd been kidnapped, and he knew that keeping a sound mind was key to either escape, or find someplace to hole up until help arrived. Kanou would be expecting to only be gone for a few minuets, so when Ayase failed to return, the older male would search for him. It was only a matter of time before Kanou figured out what happen and come rescue him.

He looked around the room, trying to find anything distinguishable in case he got access to a phone and was able to call for help. If he could figure out where he was, it would be easier to pass it to his potential rescuers. There was no windows, just the door for escape. A single bulb hung from the ceiling, illuminating the dirty off-white walls and a pile of blankets carelessly thrown on top of a dingy mattress in the corner of the room. Other then that, it was just the uncomfortable chair he was currently sitting in.

He sighed in defeat, knowing there was nothing left for him to do but sit and wait. If he was luckily, all the driving around would buy Kanou enough time to figure out where they had taken him and come get him before his kidnappers could do anything. He shuddered as old memories he had spent years burying began to resurface. Cold tile on his bare skin, cameras in his face as slick hands caressed him in places he had never even touched himself...

The acidic taste of bile burned his tongue as he shook his head, trying to shake off the memories. Kanou always came in the nick of time, right before it went to a place he wasn't sure he could come back from. Most people would say that Kanou was no different then those types of people, but Ayase knew he wasn't. He didn't how to place it, but it was always different with Kanou. It was something he just felt right down in his very bones.

He felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he thought of the older male. Right when things seemed to be going right, they had to get messed up again. They had finally reached a middle ground, the blond really feeling like he could finally start understanding Kanou. That was all he had ever wanted, some understanding, a real chance to maybe build an actual relationship, but it seemed like when ever something started going good, it quickly turned into something horribly wrong.

"Owww... what the...?"

Ayase had to bite back a shriek as what he thought was just a pile of blankets began to move and groan in pain. He shot up from his chair, backing himself against the opposite corner and away from the stranger. "W-who are you?"

The softly uttered curses ceased for a moment, a blond head of hair emerging from the tangle of blankets. Ayase gasped as he recognized the equally shocked face staring back at him.

"Skyler?"

"Ayase?"

"What are you doing here?" Skyler asked in surprise, wincing as he struggled to get up from the bed.

Ayase went to his friends aid, frowning in concern at the prominent bruises around his arms and the obvious red imprint of a hand on his cheek. "Same reason you are I assume..." he replied, delicate fingers tracing over the wounds, making sure he wasn't too badly injured, "Are you all right?"

Skyler shook his head, waving Ayase's hands away. "I'm fine, not the worst that's ever happened to me. What about you? Have they... have they done anything?"

"No..." Ayase answered quietly, the seriousness of their situation settling over them as they both looked towards the locked door.

"I'm so sorry I dragged you into this..." Skyler whispered, hanging his head. Ayase couldn't see his face, but with the way his shoulders trembled slightly, he knew the younger blond had to be close to tears.

It was strange to see Skyler so vulnerable. He was used to the ever optimistic, head strong, outspoken Skyler, not this shaking, frightened male in front of him. Ayase had to remember that Skyler was only 19, and as far as Ayase knew, had no one to really look out for him. Sure, he had Thomas, but Ayase wasn't sure that Skyler let him in on the things he did. Half the time Kanou was the reason why Ayase was in trouble, but he could always count on the older male to come find him. They might have their issues, but he knew, deep down, that the older male cared, that he wouldn't leave him to fend for himself.

Ayase wasn't sure that Skyler had anyone like that.

The two of them were so similar in so many ways, but at the same time their lives were so different. He could have easily ended up like Skyler, someone lost in this dark world with no way out. For all his faults, Kanou had never left him alone, never let things get too out of control. It never entered his mind that Kanou would not come for him, because as sick and twisted as their relationship was, it was a relationship none the less. A bond between them, not easily broken. Something that, through the years, had become something he couldn't do without.

They both gasped as the door was opened, Eito standing there with a sneer, and a tall, lanky man standing next to him. The temperature seemed to drop as he stepped into the room, Eito standing aside so that the stranger was looking down at the both of them huddled on the bed.

For the most part he was nondescript, wearing a black turtleneck, black pants, and matching black shoes. His dark hair hung in messy waves, falling a little past his shoulders. His smile was cold, his face without emotion except for the darkly amused look in his eyes.

"Hello Ginji-san." Skyler said, sitting up a little straighter, his chin raised as if he wasn't shaking in fear only moments ago.

"Sky-chan, good to see they didn't mess up your face too much." he replied, long fingers tracing over Skyler's cheek, "Shame we had to drag you in such a manner. Why don't you answer my calls? I don't like it when you don't answer."

"Sorry Ginji-san, I'll make sure not to do it again."

"Make sure you don't." Ginji said with a smile, the humor never reaching his eyes as he lifted his arm and back-handed Skyler across the face.

The force of it sent Skyler tumbling off the bed, a cry of pain as he fell to the floor. Ayase cried out in alarm, trying to reach his fallen friend. Ginji grabbed his arm, his nails digging painfully into his flesh as he was forced back onto the bed. "Well, what do we have here? Eito said you were a pretty thing too."

Ayase froze as Ginji held his chin, forcing him to look up into the taller male's face. The blond couldn't hold back a whimper, fear and pain making tears well up in his eyes. "I like pretty things like you..." he whispered, his cool breath ghosting over Ayase's skin, "I'm going to have a lot of fun with you..."

"Ginji wait!"

They both turned to where Skyler was now standing beside them, he tried not to let the pain show, but Ayase knew by the angry red marks on his face that he must be hurting. Ginji's grip never ceasing as he smiled at Skyler. "I know you aren't ordering me Sky-chan. That never goes well for anyone."

Skyler let his eyes drop to the floor in submission. "Maybe I need a little punishment then."

That seemed to get Ginji's attention, his eyes looking a little less hostile as his grip loosened on Ayase. "I might be interested in that... but I think I'd like to play with my new toy..."

Skyler did his best to look sensual as he moved closer to Ginji, hands sliding up the man's arm. "You can play with him whenever you want baby, we aren't going anywhere. I just figured you want someone that knows how to please you, not someone whose going to just cry the whole time."

Ayase frowned in confusion, unsure of what Skyler was up to. Wasn't he afraid? This man just hurt him! Instead he was acting like he was ready and willing to go with him. His eyes met with Skyler, searching for some clue as to what was going on. He was met with both fear and determination, Skyler's eyes begging him to stay quiet and let him do the talking.

Ginji was looking between the two, mulling over his options. Skyler's hands wandered from his arms, down his chest, to cup the prominent bulge in his pants. "You know you could play with me a lot longer then that one. I don't break as easily."

Ayase could see Ginji's eyes blown with lust as he let Ayase go to grab Skyler instead. "Very well," he whispered darkly, "But know I mean it when I say you will be punished for your disobedience."

The last thing Ayase saw before Ginji dragged him out of the room, was the fear in Skyler's eyes, before they seemed to drain of emotion. Eito left after them, his sadistic laughter ringing in Ayase's ears as he was left alone.

All he could do now was sit and pray that Kanou would hurry.

* * *

_**A/N:** This was gonna be longer then what's posted but I saved it for next chapter, just so I could post something now instead of much later. I'm pretty sure you all hate me for Skyler. I'm sorry... I'm so so sorry..._

_Hopefully the next chapter will be out with in a couple of weeks. I keep updates with how things are going on my fanfiction blog, so please check that as well, link is on my profile. Also, whoever gets the 200th review I will write a special one-shot for. Not whoring out the story or anything buuuut... :D_

_And as you all know, I put lyrics up at the beginning of each chapter. It sort of gives me the inspiration for each chapter and I really can't start one until I find a song. I just want to know if any fans out their have any songs for No Money, No Love. I'd like to start a play list of some sort to post once its finished. :)_

_**Ran out of time for Review Replies!** But I love you all and your praise gives me motivation to write more! :D_


	19. I Will Always Be There

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:**__ If you were upset with last chapter, this one is even worse. I apologize in advance. Please don't kill me. Lyrics by Sanctus Real._

* * *

"_Burn away the pride,  
Bring me to my weakness  
Until everything I hide behind is gone  
And when I'm open wide,  
With nothing left to cling to  
Only you are there to lead me on  
Cause honestly, I'm not that strong_

_I'm not alright_  
_I'm broken inside, broken inside_  
_And all I go through_  
_It leads me to you..."_

**Chapter 19: I Will Always Be There**

Kanou yawned as he got up from the bed, finding his pants and tugging them on so as not to be completely indecent. He knew he was still treading on thin ice with Ayase, and he wanted the younger male to feel comfortable around him. Kanou was, surprisingly, in a good mood, and looked forward to finally getting somewhere with the blond. They still had a long way to go, but if Ayase was willing to give him a chance, Kanou would do everything to prove to Ayase that he only wanted to cherish him, not control him.

He wandered into the kitchen, glancing at the clock, wondering how long Ayase would be. Ten minuets had already passed from when he had gone down to the bakery. Shrugging off his concern, he started going through cupboards, hoping to find something for tea or, preferably, coffee. Ayase had probably got caught up talking with someone downstairs or something. Kanou had promised to trust Ayase, and running after him in a panic after only ten minuets wasn't the best way to prove that trust.

Unfortunately, there was no coffee, so he set some water on to boil to make tea for when Ayase returned. He could never make it as good as Ayase did, but he wasn't completely terrible at it, unlike when he tried to cook. He hoped that Ayase would at least appreciate the gesture.

Kanou's eyes drifted to the clock again and again as the seconds ticked away. After another five minuets had gone by, Kanou found himself tugging on shirt and his shoes. He would go downstairs, just to make sure. If Ayase was fine, then he'd go back upstairs and wait for him.

Leaving the apartment, he made his was to the bakery, frowning in distaste at some garbage that had been carelessly thrown at the foot of the stairs. Ignoring it, he walked inside, noticing the same lady as yesterday working behind the counter.

"Hello again young man," she greeted, "come again I see?"

"Yes," he answered, "Just came to check on Ayase."

"Oh, well he's upstairs if you'd like to see him now. Came down just a little bit ago for breakfast."

Kanou frowned. "Well yes, I know he's here, I've been up there waiting for him. He's not down here in the shop?"

She shook her head in confusion. "No deary, he seemed really eager to head back up. Only stopped to say hello and grab some coffee before taking off again."

His heart began to pound as panic began to creep through the back of his mind. He nodded at the older women before running back outside. His eyes fell to the spilled coffee and discarded pastries at the foot of the stairs, all the pieces falling into place and starting to make sense.

He ran up the stairs, grabbing the phone from his jacket and dialing Homare. _"Yes sir?"_ the twin, thankfully, answered on the first ring.

"Ayase has been taken. Meet me with the car at his apartment."

He hung up without another word, calling Misao. "Hack into every camera feed within a two mile radius," he instructed after telling the Kuba twin the same thing he had told his brother, "I need to know who took him and where. You have 20 minuets."

Homare pulled in just as Kanou hung up. Wordlessly he slipped into the car, his briefcase resting on the backseat next to him. He opened it, humorlessly smiling at the handgun resting right on top.

His phone buzzed into his pocket. "Yes?"

"_They headed northeast after he was taken, driving in that direction for 3.5 miles before heading south. They're lost in the camera feed after that, though I sighted them from a downtown streetlight camera a few minuets ago."_

"Very good. We'll head in that direction. Call me when you know where they are for sure and meet us there."

He relayed Misao's directions to Homare, the twin efficiently weaving through the crowded Japanese streets. As they drove, Kanou checked his gun, making sure it was clean and fully loaded. He needed to be prepared for when faced whoever thought taking Ayase was a good idea. He would show them, just like he had shown others, that no one messed with what belonged to him.

His phone buzzed again. _"Sir,"_ came Misao's voice, _"The same men that took Ayase-san were seen later on that morning at an apartment in the __Kabuki-cho district. A neighbor filed a complaint about strange noises from upstairs." _

"Kabuki-cho? What were they doing there?" Kanou didn't miss the way Homare straightened up, his eyes darting towards the backseat.

"_Video surveillance shows them dragging someone into their car. I tracked them to an office building downtown. I believe they might have taken Ayase-san there as well. I will try and find out who owns the building."_

"Upload the address to the cars GPS system. Come prepared."

Kanou's dark eyes focused on Homare as he tucked his phone in his pocket. "I never did get a chance to ask why you never answered yesterday." he said casually, clicking the safety off on his gun before slipping that into his jacket as well.

"I apologize sir, it won't happen again." he replied, emotionless as ever, though his hands tightened slightly on the steering wheel.

"I'm sure it won't. Care to tell me why? I have a feeling it will interest me greatly."

Homare knew lying was futile. Even if Kanou didn't know everything, it would be only a matter of time before he did. Homare had a sneaking suspicion too, that the reason why Ayase was taken had to do with the goons from yesterday. Which meant that Ayase, and Skyler too if guessed correctly, could be in a lot of danger.

"I have reason to believe Ginji is involved with this somehow." he said quietly, feeling Kanou's eyes staring at him, waiting for him to continue, "I went over to question Ayase's new friend Skyler yesterday. Both of them were at the apartment and were being threatened by two men who are known to work for him. I took care of them and went back late last night to talk to Skyler alone. I was waiting until I was sure before bringing it to you attention."

He knew he was leaving a lot of stuff out, but he hoped that it would be enough to appease Kanou. He almost jumped when he felt Kanou's breath on his neck, the older man whispering threateningly "Make sure things like this are not kept from me again. Understood?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

Ayase wasn't sure how long he waited in the room, staring at the wall. He heard noises from behind the door, men talking or laughing, but it had yet to open. He closed his eyes with a sigh, looking up towards the ceiling and praying that his friend was safe, that they would all be safe, and that Kanou would come soon.

He spent his idle time thinking about what he would do once this was over. If nothing else, this was a wake up call that, while he might be able to leave Kanou, that didn't mean he got to leave Kanou's world. He had been so naive to believe that he could walk away and forget everything, that nothing from this dark underground would come for him.

He felt ashamed of himself for thinking he could get by unscathed. He might pray for Kanou to hurry up and come for them, but at the same time he hated that smug look he would have. That _'I told you so'_ waiting in his eyes when he busted through the door. He wanted to prove to Kanou that he was strong, that he was capable of taking care of himself. However, the more he tried the more he seemed to fail.

He knew he couldn't return to the way he lived before Kanou, but he didn't want to go crawling back to the life that he lived with him. It wasn't much of a life at all, being unable to make his own decisions and pursue his dreams. Being with Kanou had changed the course of his life, and while he wished for a time that he could be completely oblivious to the darker parts of the world, he knew that it could never be this way. That didn't mean though, that he couldn't change again. Take the bits of his pasts, the pieces that had broken from him over the last three years, and make something new.

The click of the door unlocking broke him from his thoughts, and he jumped to his feet as it opened. A young looking man carried a shivering figure in his arms, a dirty sheet obscuring Ayase's view of the persons face. He had a sinking feeling he knew who it was though, if the wisps of blond hair peeking through were anything to go by.

The guard said not a word as he gently set Skyler on the bed before turning around and leaving them alone. "Do you need anything?" he asked quietly.

"There's nothing you can do Daisuke." Skyler sounded weak and pained, his voice barely a whisper.

Ayase didn't want to trust him, he worked for Ginji after all, but he was thankful that not everyone seemed so heartless. Maybe, if they were lucky, he could convince him to let them go. "Can you help us?"

Daisuke looked at Ayase, then back to Skyler, shaking his head. His eyes looked so sad, his shoulders heavy with guilt. "I wish I could... no one... no one deserves what-"

"That's enough Daisuke." Skyler said, "Go before Eito comes."

As Daisuke reluctantly left, Ayase rushed to his friends side, sitting next to him on the bed and embracing him. "Are you okay? What happened? Did he hurt you?"

Skyler didn't reply, just continued to tremble in Ayase's arms. The older blond bit his lip, leaning back slightly and tugging the sheet down a little to asses his friend. Tears welled up in his blue eyes as he caught site of the bruises around his neck, the rope burns around his wrists, and the angry red slashes criss-crossed down his arms and back. He didn't even want to know how far down they went, or ask questions about the red stains on the sheet.

"Skyler..." he whispered, voice breaking as a few stray tears spilled down his cheeks.

There was nothing but emptiness in those blue eyes as they finally lifted to meet Ayase's. "Don't cry for me," he whispered, weakly squeezing his hand, "Don't you dare give them the satisfaction of crying for me."

"But Skyler... he... he h-hurt you..."

Skyler nodded, hunching back in the sheet and leaning tiredly against the older blond. The lack of emotion from the younger male scared Ayase more then the thought of Ginji or Eito coming back and doing to him what they did to Skyler. Ayase thought back on all those close calls, all those times that Kanou had broken down the door and swept him away. He wondered how many times Skyler had stared at the door, asking for someone to save him, only to be disappointed when no one ever came.

Things had never been perfect with Kanou, and there were some things that could not be forgiven very easily, but he could always count on the older man. It wasn't good, but it was something he could live with in the end. Skyler acted like this wasn't the first time, like it wouldn't be the last either. That broke Ayase's heart more then anything else.

The evenness of his breathing singled to Ayase that Skyler must of fallen asleep. Ayase smoothed his hands though the younger blonds hair, feeling like he was seeing him for the first time. He chocked back his tears, holding the younger boy who was now whimpering in his sleep. He looked back at the door, praying that Kanou would hurry.

* * *

_**A/N:** I feel... sad... But that's the reality of No Money, No Love. This life, especially the life these characters lead, is dangerous. And while Kanou isn't perfect, I think it could have been a lot worse. I did enjoy writing Kanou as a badass ruthless yukuza boss though. _

_And I realized that the time sequence might be a little weird to follow or not make sense, but fuck you it's my story. I COMMAND TIME HERE!_

_Anyway, I hope people are reading my fanfiction blog. Link is up on my profile and I've been posting frequently. Be my friend? Please?_

_FYI, if I don't get a chapter up within the first two weeks of May, don't expect a chapter until June. My Fiancee is coming home then so I'll busy doing...other...things... *ahem*... then after that its FANIME! :D_

_Also I'm still doing a gift-fic for the 200th reviewer. Only five away~ And I'm still asking for song suggestions for the NMNL play list. _

_**Review Replies!** Finally found time for some! I love all my readers and all my reviews. Please give me lots because it makes me work faster! :D _

_**Percygranger:** I was really scared that people would react badly to an OC, but Skyler is exactly what you described him, and that's why I wanted him in the story. He shows Ayase that while being with Kanou was bad, it could have ended a lot worse (pretty much what this whole chapter is about) and that he needs to really think about his relationship with Kanou. I want them to be together and happy, but with their past such a thing can't come about without some serious evaluation. Glad you love Skyler and the story! :)_

_**Onige-a:** I feel bad now 'cause I let bad things happen to him. D: Don't hate me?_

_**Kitty In The Box:** Hahaha! Maybe you can still win! I'd love to write a story for you, you've been really great and I always love reading your reviews!_

_**Don't Preach: **It's really hard to keep in character, especially since Kanou is so damn bi-polar. I really appreciate it though, when readers tell me I'm doing a good job. All I wanted was a really good 'what if' story that showed a little more maturity from Ayase, and maybe a little more softness from Kanou. Plus the storyline is so damn wrought with psychological trauma, I just love taking they're brains apart. :)_

_**Honorable mention to:** Luna's Fallen Angel, Damons-hot-as-hell, and Bellaliciousss!_


	20. Hidden in Shadow

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** Yay! New chapter! I know it's late but my wedding is coming up so its crunch time for me. Depending on how everything goes, if a new chapter isn't up by early July, don't expect one until late August, maybe even September. Sorry folks but I've got a big move to make right after the wedding and a new job to start and unfortunately that means fanfiction has to take the back seat._

_Enjoy this new chapter though!_

* * *

"_There are terrors deep inside me that are screaming bloody hell  
And I'm trying to keep my hands from shaking  
While you tell me where you've been_

_Darling, what is it you're doing with that hammer to my heart?_  
_You tell me you don't know, but there you are again_  
_You tell me you don't know..._

_So take another breath, open your eyes,_  
_See this is what you get, yeah it serves you right,_  
_And when it's all said and done,_  
_It always seems so predictable, predictable..."_

**Chapter 20: Whats Hidden in Shadow**

It came to no surprise to Kanou when Misao informed him that the building was, in fact, leased under Ginji's name. He sat in the back seat of the car, checking over his Luger P08 as he read the information Misao was sending him about the self proclaimed "entrepreneur".

On the surface it seemed Ginji was the owner of a popular AV production company, nothing too extreme in the dark world of Japan's underground. But Kanou had heard his name whispered once or twice over the last year in his own circles, and he knew that whatever porn business he had was a cover for some bigger aspirations.

First, the "stars" of his videos weren't just pretty coked up hookers wanting to be starlets. Almost all were taken off the streets or out of their homes, most underage as well. They were all so drugged up they hardly fought once the cameras started rolling. Kanou's stomach twisted painfully as he read over a few victim reports taken by the police from a few that had gotten away. It was so hard not to see Ayase's face in all the police photos, bruised and bloodied, eyes clouded in fear and pain. "How long before we arrive?" he growled to Homare.

"Ten minuets sir."

Nodding, he doubled checked that he had extra magazines for his gun in his pocket, a full one loaded and ready, before going back to reading. Recently, it seemed Ginji's small time drug trafficking had picked up, knocking down and taking over a few smaller groups along the way. With all the extra cash flow he started buying up property like crazy, mostly office buildings with a few clubs and bars among the rougher districts.

The more he read, the more something seemed off about everything in these reports. It didn't sit well with Kanou and he quickly dialed Misao. _"Yes sir?"_

"Why are these nothing but business records and nothing about Ginji himself?"

"_There are no concrete records or pictures of him that I could locate, only the vague descriptions in the police reports. However, most of the victims were too drugged and barely conscious when he raped them and could not accurately describe him."_

Kanou flinched at the word _'rape'_, spoken so expressionlessly from the Kuba twin, though bringing an image of Ayase's crying face to the forefront of his own mind. "Why are none of the larger groups opposing him? Not even some of the families have tried sticking their hand in this."

Kanou now wished he had paid closer attention when Ginji's name had started popping up. He never gave it much thought, Ginji's "business"really didn't have anything to do with his own dealings. Porn and drugs where too messy to Kanou. Money wasn't difficult and it was always legal. Getting it and dealing with it always wasn't, but it kept a pretty clean image.

"_It seemed the Kazuyoshi group threatened him six months ago when some of their dealers where found dead. The 16 year old daughter of one of the group leaders was kidnapped, assaulted, raped, and injected with a number of highly addictive substances. They sent the family a few video tapes of her before returning the girl. She committed suicide a few weeks ago."_

"And still no retaliation?"

"_Quite a number of men Ginji employed were killed but nothing further. No one knows who Ginji really is or where he resides. Some even think he isn't even real, just a shadow to divert everyone's attention. Many groups are wary to engage when so little information is known about him."_

"And Ayase?" he asked, trying to not let the worry leak into his voice.

"_There are no security cameras within a four mile radius of the building. The nearest camera did show the same car that took Ayase enter the vicinity 23 minuets ago and has yet to appear again on any feeds. I am certain they have not left yet."_

"You better be correct Misao." he said before snapping the phone shut, thinking of all the ways he'd make such a shadow bleed should anything happen to his angel.

Homare's mood grew darker as he listened to the one sided conversation from the backseat. He didn't have to hear what Misao was saying, he knew enough about Ginji himself from all the research he had done the night before. He was still kicking himself for letting Skyler mess with his head and cracking his resolve. If he hadn't given in, hadn't messed up, then maybe Ayase wouldn't be in danger now. He couldn't help feeling like this might all be his fault.

Damn Skyler and his know it all attitude, his tempting mouth, his hands full of promises, and his eyes full of secrets. He had known Skyler was trouble, had known that Ginji was somehow involved too, and he had let the younger blond walk away. If Skyler had sold them out, had told Ginji about Ayase and his involvement with Kanou, then his boss would not hesitate to tear the Kuba twin to pieces. Homare would deserve it though, should any harm come to Ayase.

They would make it though, he trusted his brother and he knew what his boss was capable of. Ayase would be fine, Ginji would be taken care of. As for Skyler...

That was one mistake Homare wasn't going to let happen again. He would see to it personally.

"We're here." he announced quietly, parking on a dark corner a little ways away, reaching for his own gun and tucking it in the holster at his side.

"Good. Misao is on the other side. We'll go through the side and he'll come around back. The blueprints show a very large underground structure, the most likely place where they'll be."

"Understood."

"We find Ayase first, then deal with Ginji."

Homare nodded, and they both slipped inside. Misao had already connected to the buildings mainframe, looping the videos and cutting any alarms someone might try to sound. Swiftly, silently, they moved through the hallways. Homare knew the determined, ruthless look in Kanou's eyes, it only showed when Ayase was in danger.

The Kuba twin always thought it must be the same look Death had when preparing for war.

* * *

Ayase paced around the small room that was his prison, casting worried glances to his injured friend that was still sleeping deeply on the bed. He had only woken once, when the guard Daisuke had sneaked in with some water and medicine to ease the pain of Skyler's wounds. Ayase was thankful for what little help the older male was, but he still wished he was brave enough to let them go. He had even suggested "accidentally" leaving the door unlocked and letting them try on there own. But he had just shaken his head and told him _'it wasn't that simple'_. Still, he was glad for the painkillers for Skyler, even if he was a little concerned that Skyler took a few too many. He didn't say anything though, just watched his chest rise in fall as he slept, glad that he was at least no longer crying.

The younger blond turned, the blood stained sheet falling away and revealing the long, angry red whip marks crisscrossing down his back. Ayase bit his lip, feeling tears sting his eyes as he saw them and he was reminded again the sacrifice his friend has made for him. He could have left him, let Ginji take him away first and be hurt like that. The older blond shuddered at the thought, knowing that this wasn't Skyler's first time doing this too.

He wondered how he could ever think Kanou was cold. After seeing Ginji's cruel smile, the ice in his eyes that chilled Ayase down to his soul, it was plain to see he held no mercy. Kanou was always thunderous, powerful, surging with intensity. He was like a tiger, pacing around a cage, ready to strike at any moment but, for now, quietly contemplating their prey. Not cold, never cold.

With a sigh, Ayase sat on the ground opposite the wall and near the door, letting his head rest on his knees. The waiting was always the worst. So much time wondering what went wrong, what he could have done to stop it, what they were going to do to him. All he could do was hope and worry and pray and think.

He hands balled into fists, teeth biting into his lower lip to stop it from trembling. This was why he wanted to get stronger damn it! He didn't want to be trapped or need saving. His whole life he'd been weak, needing saving from bullies, kidnappers, even his own family.

There had always been someone there to save him, like his mother and grandmother, Kanou and Homare. Everyone told him he was always too weak to do things, too fragile. He couldn't live alone, go to college, drive, or even learn to fight. If he had the power, the strength, then he could save Skyler and himself, without anyone else.

He knew it wasn't that easy though. In their eyes, they only saw his thin frame, his small hands, his long white blond lashes framing teary blue eyes. They only saw a victim or a toy, an Angel on a pedestal who didn't belong to themselves. "But I don't want to be any of those things..." he whispered.

He just wanted to be Yukiya Ayase. To be happy and to live life and be loved for just being himself, that's all he ever wanted to be. If he could just get the world to see that, get Kanou to see that, then maybe...

Distant shouting and the pounding of hurried feet near the door broke him from his thoughts. He wiped at the few tears that had trailed down his cheeks, waiting for someone to burst in or for something to happen. He hoped it was Kanou, though the realistic voice of his thoughts told him it was probably Eito or Ginji come to do to him what they had done to Skyler. He held his breath as he heard the lock turn.

He knew his fate rested on whoever was standing outside that door.

* * *

_**A/N: **Uh-oh! Who is outside that door? Dun dun duuuuun! Heh, another cliffy for everyone. I am so evil! _

_I got a complaint that my author notes where too long so I'm trying to cut down on them. I always have a lot of things to say though so please read my author blog for more in depth analysis of the chapters! Link is up on my profile page! :3_

_**Review Replies!** Tell me how much you love me and I'll tell you right back! _

_**Don't Preach:** I love your review! The long ones are my favorite! One thing I love about Okane Ga Nai is all the hidden emotion I think are in all the characters. I tried to show that in this chapter as well for Ayase. I personally believe he has a complex about being so feminine. Throughout the manage he tries so hard to stay in college, help others, get a job, even learn to drive! But everyone says no! And yet he still tries anyway. Not because he's stupid and naive, but because he wants to prove to himself and everyone that he is capable, he can do these things, and they need to trust him to do that! Gah I love his character so much!_

_I secretly loved Kanou being a badass. I don't think we get to see it enough in the manga so it was fun trying to figure out how he always figures everything out._

_Skyler's part was pretty hard for me to write, and I actually did end up crying. I'm a sap like that and he's like, my baby. I really hope to right a continuation for him and Homare. He deserves to be loved. I don't believe in writing rape scenes so I only show the aftermath of his sacrifice._

_Hope you keep reading and reviewing! :D_

_**Amity33**: I'm super happy when readers say my characters really stick to the manga. I didn't want to change anything, just show a different side to them. Glad you enjoyed! _

_**Luna's Fallen Angel**: Don't worry dear. We have our ways to end him. ;)_

_**Kitty in the Box: **Sorry you didn't win! Maybe for the 300th review! Or if I get time I'll write you one just because I like you and your reviews make me smile!_

_I know I didn't mention everyone but I do love you all and love your reviews! Keep up the good work!_


	21. Of Nightmares and Reality

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N:** I have no excuse as to why I am so late. If you really want to know, go to my fanfiction blog. Link can be found in my profile. Enjoy another chapter. _

"_I was watching when you lost direction  
And I saw you when the headlights died  
You were standing at the edge of a train wreck  
Twisted up inside_

_I tried to find you in your pitch black bedroom_  
_I tried to find you in the place you hide_  
_But your body was an empty suitcase_  
_Hollow sunken eyes..."_

**Chapter 21: Of Nightmares and Reality...**

Daisuke held his breath, making his steps as quiet as possible as he made his way down the darkened hallway. He'd have to leave soon, and he wanted to get some more medicine to Skyler before he had to go. The younger blond had helped him find his sister in this place, had even put in a good word for him here, and while he wished there was more he could do for the him, he hoped this was at least enough. He waited a moment, straining to hear if any footsteps were approaching. When he heard nothing, he crouched by the door, making quick work of the lock before slipping inside.

He grabbed some more painkillers as well as a few rolls of gauze and some ointment for Skyler's welts. He paused a second, before grabbing a bit more for Skyler's friend. It wouldn't be long before Ginji would come for him, or at the very least let some of the guards have their way with him. He would need all the help he could get.

Making sure everything was back where he'd left him and that it didn't look like too much stuff was missing, he cracked open the door to listen once more.

"Any... they were...?"

"Not as of..."

Daisuke strained to hear the whispered conversation. He didn't recognize the voices, but wasn't too sure since they were being so quiet. Whoever it was, he hoped they weren't coming into the medical supply closet or he'd be fucked.

"Has he... camera footage?"

"Yes but... only the first two floors have..."

They were coming closer. Daisuke ducked down low, hand over his mouth to stifle his breathing. He was risking so much by being here. He was so close to figuring out what happened to Emiko. If he was caught, not only would he be killed on the spot, but if they found out they had his sister too, they'd kill her too.

"We can't keep running around blind like this." One of the men whispered harshly. They had to be standing right outside the door now. " Next person we come across we need to knock out and question. We're running out of time to find Ayase."

The name rang a bell. Wasn't that Skyler's friend? They were there to rescue the blonds?

"Yes, Kanou-san."

Daisuke's eyes widened in recognition. Kanou? As in Somoku Kanou? Sure the guy had dropped off the grid the last couple of years, but the name still carried a lot of weight. If anyone could take on Ginji it would be Somoku Kanou. If those two were going at it, it might even prove enough distraction to find his sister and get her out of here. It was risky, but he was running out of options. Without another thought, he stood and opened the door.

The barrel of two guns were immediately shoved in his face, but thankfully did not go off. He raised his hands to show he was unarmed. "I know where Ayase is!" he hissed quietly, praying that was enough to permit not being shot in the face.

One of the muzzles lowered slightly. Both men were silent, considering the authenticity if his statement. "How can we trust you?" one asked.

Daisuke swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "T-they have my sister. Skyler... he helped me find her, got me a job here to try and find her. I was around when they brought them in. I was trying to help them when I heard you..."

The guns were lowered and even in the dim light, Daisuke could see the rage and determination shining in Kanou's dark eyes. Daisuke realized the guns in his face were a lot less frightening than looking into that mans eyes.

"Take me to Ayase."

* * *

Ayase held his breath as the locked clicked open and the knob was slowly turned. He couldn't help the small flare of hope that it might be Kanou, there to take them away from this awful place. _'Please', _he begged silently, _'please, let it be him.'_

Of course it wasn't though, because this was reality and not a terrible dream he hoped he was only trapped in. Eito's smile was cruel as he looked down at the terrified blond. "Looks like it's your turn now, pretty one."

His hand gripped Ayase's upper arm, seemingly amused at his quiet yelp of pain. "Then again, after the Boss gets done with you, you probably won't be very pretty any more."

The blond cast a terrified look at Skyler, still passed out on the bed. That's what was waiting for him, the broken bloody mess on the bed was his future. Skyler had tried to save him from it, Kanou too had tried to prevent him from enduring worse tortures from the outside world. Ayase had been so desperate to get out before, and now he was paying the price for his freedom. His debt to Kanou seemed like petty pennies now compared to what waited for him.

Eito's laughter echoed in his ears as he was led down the darkened hallway, silent tears streaming down his face. He wished, now more than ever, he could go back and tell himself it hadn't been so bad before.

Because now, it was about to get so much worse.

* * *

Kanou's fingers twitched impatiently, the only outward sign of his worry, as he followed Daisuke down the hall. They had only run into one or two other people, which Homare quickly took care of, before coming before a locked heavy oak door. "Give me a second..." Daisuke whispered, getting to his knees with a pick in his hand. It only took a few seconds, but for Kanou it felt like eternity. When he finally heard the click of the door unlocking, he pushed his way past Daisuke and though the door.

The first thing that caught his eye was the blood staining a sheet that wrapped around a shivering figure. He froze, a rare spike of fear making him pause. He took a tentative step forward. "Ayase?" he called out carefully.

The figure shifted, blond hair peeking out, framing a slender face that held watery blue eyes. He wasn't sure to feel relief that those weren't the eyes he was searching for, or filled with more worry at the pain and regret that filled them. "I'm s-so sorry Kanou... t-they... they've already... I woke up and h-he was... gone."

Kanou's hand tightened around his gun. He turned to Daisuke. "Do you know where else they would have taken him?"

Daisuke looked hesitantly towards the door. "To the top floor, that's all Ginji's private rooms. But I've never been up there, I couldn't say where exactly. I'm sorry."

Kanou was seconds away from just going and blasting everything in his path until he found Ayase, his rage and hurt was that great. But he knew in the end that would do more harm than good. He was fighting an enemy that he knew practically nothing about, who held hostage him most precious thing in the world, in a place he had no idea to navigate though. He shut his eyes, taking a deep breath to stamp down his anger and tried to think. "Did Misao find any floor plans yet?"

Homare whispered something into the communicator at his ear. "He says no. They've all been destroyed or encrypted in a way he can't access."

He heard Skyler make a pained whimper and turned to see him struggling to stand. "I know w-where Ginji will take him. I can take you."

"Skyler you can hardly walk." Daisuke reasoned, standing next to him and offering a supporting shoulder.

The younger male shook his head. "I'll be fine. Give me some more painkillers and I can walk."

"Dragging you around will only slow us down." Homare stated quietly.

Skyler looked up at them with hateful eyes. He pushed Daisuke's hands away, dropping the sheet down low enough to expose most of his body. There wasn't an inch of him that wasn't covered in some type of bruise or welt. His back was the worst, some of the welts had split open, crisscrossing down his back and butt and covering what wasn't cut open in blood. Daisuke gasped in shock, frantically digging in his pockets for the medical supplies he had stolen earlier. From the corner of his eye Kanou saw Homare take a small concerned step forward, his hand tightening into fists until his knuckles turned white with the repressed anger.

"We need to go now," Skyler said calmly, even as his legs trembled, "before the same things happen to Ayase."

Kanou felt both sick and enraged when he thought of his Angel experiencing the same treatment. He would die before he let Ayase be hurt that way. "Can you carry him?" he asked Daisuke as the young man did his best to quickly clean the blond up. The young man nodded reluctantly.

"Then let's go."

Daisuke did his best to carefully lift Skyler in his arms, being as quiet and quick as possible as he followed the two men out. Skyler didn't utter a word of protest, though the pained grip he had on the sheets was not missed. "On the right is a stairwell. Ginji's private rooms are two floors up and on the East side of the building."

Homare and Kanou nodded, the former whispering the directions into his headset. "Misao says we're clear until that section, but after that there are no cameras set up to watch us."

Skyler laughed bitterly. "He doesn't need guards or cameras. Chances are he knows your here already."

Kanou's eyes narrowed, his anger like a dark cloud hanging over them. "Good. I don't like my time wasted."

They walked on in silence, up the stairs and down the halls, only pausing to tell Misao to be on guard and start working his way up to meet them. They stopped outside an ornate set of double doors, Skyler insisting to be put down. He was shaking as he stopped, taking deep labored breaths. "Go get your sister," he instructed Daisuke, " I last heard they were holding the girls from the last kidnapping on the second floor. This should give you enough time to find her and get out."

Daisuke's eyes flickered to the two men waiting impatiently. Skyler shook his head. "Just go Daisuke, don't worry about them."

The young man nodded before taking off down the hall they had come down. Skyler turned back towards the two men. "Through the door will be a lounge area and then a door leading to Ginji's private rooms. He'll be in there with Ayase."

Kanou nodded, becoming intensely focused as he checked to make sure the his gun was fully loaded. He might not know a lot about the enemy he was facing, but one thing was for sure, Ginji would die for touching what was his. Pushing his way in through the double doors, and making sure there was no enemies in the room, he stood in front of the doors leading to Ginji's rooms and, hopefully, an unharmed Ayase.

Taking a deep breath, he turned the knob and pushed the door open.

* * *

**A/N:** _Thanks to The Spill Canvas and their song 'As Long As It Takes' for musical inspiration. __**No Review Replies because I didn't want to take up time when I can just have it posted, but I thank everyone who is still with despite my long absence. **_


	22. Like A Loaded Gun

No Money, No Love

By: Witch Baby

_**A/N: **So I understand the time line is a bit wibbly-wobbly at this point because I keep switching between Ayase and Kanou. Let's just say Kanou is about 20-30 minuets behind what's going on with Ayase, but it will sync up in this chapter. Sorry it took awhile to get this one out, but it least it wasn't as long as last time right? …. Right?..._

_Also, any mistakes are because I proofread this at 3am. I'll probably do another look through after some sleep and coffee to amke sure everything makes sense and is spelled correctly. Sorry guys!  
_

_For details about with whats up with chapters and my life add my writers profile on Facebook at facebook wonderfulworldofwitchbaby or on my blog at thewitchbaby. blogspot. com_

"_Strange how no matter what the distance  
You can never escape yourself  
Distorted by your own reflection  
But only I can tell.  
I know I said I didn't watch your plane leave  
Honestly, I should admit I lied  
I was standing at the edge of the runway wishing I could fly..."_

**Chapter 22: Like A Loaded Gun**

The room Eito shoved him in was dark, the only light being a lamp that was turned down low. The walls were a wine red, the room accented in blacks and the same rich color. He wasn't sure what he was expecting of Ginji's room, but it sure wasn't such a minimalistic styling. There were two doors, the one he'd come in through and one on the far wall, the distant sound of a shower filtering though. He tried not to think about who it could be.

Not wanting to be situated by the bed, Ayase opted to stand nervously on the opposite side of the room. He considered making a run for it, but he figured Eito was probably on the other side making sure he didn't. If he made it out of this, he was going to be at Thomas's place daily making sure he got strong enough to never get kidnapped again. He was getting sick and tired of the constant worry and panic that followed him.

The shower shuts off and the fear comes rushing back so quick he feels dizzy. His eyes flicker back and forth to the bathroom door and the rest of the room as if some magical escape route will somehow appear. A few minuets later the bathroom door opens and Ayase tries his hardest not to tremble. Ginji walks out in nothing but a pair of loose black pants and black shirt, hair slightly damp and his feet bare. Ayase might be put at ease at seeing him so relaxed, but he knows its just a ploy. The coldness in his eyes as they look at him from across the room, the memory of a blood stained sheet wrapped around Skyler, there is no mistaking that the man in front of him is ruthless.

" You're eyes glow when you're scared. I like that."

That statement makes Ayase want to look away, but he's too afraid to take his eyes off the man for even a second. Ginji steps closer, smiling wider as the blond flinches. He's close enough now that Ayase can feel the heat of his body, which on some level surprises him. He expected him to radiate cold, his presence being like an icy wind. "I didn't expect to find you when my boys went to visit Skyler. But I am not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. I'd say it was fate that you happened to fall into my lap."

"W-what.." he swallows thickly the fear that has caught in his throat, "What are you talking about?"

Ginji chuckles darkly, hand gripping Ayase's chin, forcing him to look up into the man's cruel eyes. "I can see why he likes you. You could be a weakness for any man. It's just my luck that you happen to be his."

The color drains from Ayase's face. This is about Kanou, this man is using him to lure Kanou here and kill him. "I don't live with him anymore!" Ayase tries to reason, "He has nothing to do with me!"

"You're such a cute little Angel, lying doesn't become you." The fingers become painful as the grip on his chin tightens. "He's infatuated with you, obsessed even. Why else would he be here now, making his way up to me, without any sort of back up? Because he knows I have you. I can use that to destroy him."

He couldn't help the little jump his heart does when he heard that Kanou was here, that he was coming to rescue him. He didn't know where he was or how far away, but that little flare of hope calms him and makes him feel bold. "He's stronger than you'll ever be." he said with a fearlessness he really didn't feel.

Ginji only laughed again, finally releasing his face. "I'm going to enjoy breaking you." he said, a note of fondness in his voice that brings back all of Ayase's anxiety. "Once Somoku is out of the way, this city will be mine, and no one will be here to save you."

He stroked his hand lovingly down Ayase's face. "You know, I've always loved pretty things," he whispers, more to himself than the frightened blond, "It's what attracted me to my little Sky-bird. He was so much fun, takes longer then most to start screaming."

Ayase whimpers in pain as Ginji's hand buries in his white blond hair and pulls harshly. "Something tells me you won't be as difficult."

"To bad that's something you'll never find out."

The blond almost sobs in relief at the familiar voice. Kanou might be difficult to understand, but he was a man of his word, and for that the younger male was grateful. He'd told him, all those years ago, that he would protect Ayase, and despite all the drama over the last week, he was still keeping that promise.

Ginji's maniacal laughter breaks him out of his reverie. "I'd thought I would have a little more time to rough him up before you showed up." He spies Skyler standing on trembling legs next to Homare, clutching the older male's coat shirt sleeve for support. The darkening of Ginji's eyes is the only hint of his anger. "I see you had some help though. Next time I will have to make it to where you can't even fly my Sky-bird. Wouldn't want to make the same mistake twice."

Homare steps fully in front of the blond, blocking him from view. "Stop this." Kanou demands, bringing the mob boss's attention back to him. "Give him to me and I will make sure you die quickly."

Ginji laughs again. "Well aren't you a cocky little shit. It's funny that you think you're in any position to give me orders. Amuse me enough and I might let you watch when I rape your little pet."

Before Kanou can make any move to fire the gun he had pointed at the man, Ginji claps his hands. The overhead lights come on and two figures step from the shadows. One is Eito, and he grins as he levels his gun at Kanou. The other stranger takes Homare's gun and places it in his pocket, waiting for direction as Eito disarms Kanou as well.

"I hadn't expected it to be this easy!" Ginji walks towards a small trunk located near the bed and starts pulling out various weapons; a small knife, some brass knuckles, a pistol. " I was hoping for more entertainment than this, but I can make due."

Homare and Kanou exchange a brief glance, and while Ginji's back is turned they spring into action. Homare pushes Skyler away and lunges for the guard, tackling him to the ground and twisting his hand so he drops his weapon. Kanou goes for Eito, kicking him in the chest and knocking the wind out of him. His gun goes flying so Kanou grabs him in hope to take the back his own gun.

The struggle doesn't seem to faze Ginji as he calmly loads his weapon, leaving his other various toys out on the bed. Kanou is taken by surprise when it's Ginji that kicks Eito, shoving him out of the way so that he has the perfect amount of space to level his gun right in Kanou's face. His fist clench, mind racing to try and see if he can disarm Ginji or distract him long enough to get the upper hand. He can hear Homare still struggling with the other goon behind him and he knows the Kuba twin won't be much help.

"I was hoping to draw this out, make you suffer a bit," Ginji says with a seemingly regretful sigh, "But to save me the trouble I think I'll just kill you now."

Kanou's eyes flicker to Ayase's and the fear he sees in them makes him ache. He's pretty sure he's about to die, and with that knowledge comes regret. He never got to work things out properly with his Angel, never got to fix all the mistakes he'd made. He couldn't save Ayase from this madman. Ginji laughs darkly. "Don't worry about him. When I'm through he'll probably be begging to join you in the afterlife. I might be gracious enough to let him."

He doesn't spare a glance at the insane mob boss, instead watching Ayase as he looked down at the gun that rested at his feet.

* * *

When the chaos starts, Ayase dives off to the side, not wanting to be caught in the crossfire . The fighting is blocking his escape through the door, but he doesn't want to be taken hostage again so he makes himself scarce. As Kanou knocks Eito down, a gun clatters and slides across the floor to rest at his feet. With trembling hands he picks it up, thinking maybe he can get it back to Kanou somehow. He freezes, along with everyone else, when Ginji calmly points his pistol at Kanou. He whispers something, the mouth tilting into an all familiar cruel smile. Ayase looks down at the gun in his hands, knowing there isn't any way to get it to Kanou in time. His eyes flicker to Homare, who looks the epitome of calm, but Ayase knows him well enough to see that he's at a loss of what to do.

The gun feels so heavy as he lifts it up, he's not sure he can bear the weight. But he's so sick of being the victim, of watching those he cares about be hurt. He thinks of Skyler, or dark hands grabbing for him, of all the tears he's shed that he can't seem to stop. He could stop it all with this, could end the madness, end Ginji, take the control back.

His eyes close as a shot rings clear and true.

_**A/N: **Can I just say that I am the self-proclaimed Queen of Cliffhangers? I think I am very deserving of the title. _

_I am on vacation for a week so the next chapter should be up soon. Hopefully. I might be lazy and just enjoy my vacation. But I'm having a lot of fun. Plus, and I hate to break this news, but I only see NMNL going on for one, maybe two more chapters. It's coming to an end guys, I'm sorry. Don't want to really waste space with more A/N so if you want more info check out my Facebook and Blogger. _

_**Review Replies! Found some time for a few of them! :3 Remember, reviews equal love! So spread the love!**_

**Karmadella1234: **Um... can I pick Gooderist?

**Onige-a: **Sorry I left it on ANOTHER cliffhanger. Don't hate me too much please?

**Anukool: **I'm a big softie at hurt, I couldn't hurt the poor Ayase. But I have a plot bunny for a dirty smutty Okane Ga Nai one shot in the future, so will that appease you? :D

**Pengwens: **I am terrible at fight scenes to be honest. I hope this one wasn't too bad!

**Cerberus Revised: **It always warms my heart when people say how much they love Skyler! I do hope to have a spin-off little fic for him sometime in the near future. He deserves it! But since he's actually intertwined with my own original fiction series, not sure how it will all fit in and tie together. We shall see! :D

**Big thanks to everyone else who reviewed! :D**


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